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#1
Nov 02, 2011, 02:11 PM
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Hello,
I am experiencing terrible phone anxiety right nw. And it's a friend I need to call to set up a lunch on Friday with. Can anyone relate to phone anxiety? (by the way, she doesn't know how to text so that's out of the question). Thank you! Alissa |
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#2
Nov 02, 2011, 03:04 PM
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Ugh. I hate talking on the phone. The only way I've learned to deal with it is to take a deep breath, think about what I'm going to say (or write it down first so I can read it), and make the call, because the anxiety that builds up around making the call ruins my day, and is not often nearly as bad as the call itself. (Not to mention I look forward to the relief of having done it!). The sooner the better. The less time you have to think about it. There's also the possibility that you may get voicemail, when I am anxious, sometimes that is a relief.
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 ALissa3, pbutton
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#3
Nov 02, 2011, 03:22 PM
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Hi Alissa,
I can definitely relate. I used to avoid talking on the phone at all costs, refusing to answer most of the time and looking for any way possible to avoid making calls. The only thing that helped me get over it over time was to force myself to pick up that phone, to make that call. Eventually I realized that there was nothing to be afraid of. Exposure therapy really does work for phobias! If you try this method, please don't be hard on yourself if you don't make progress for a bit. It's very tough exposing ourselves to something we fear. I got over this fear gradually, one day at a time. Be gentle with yourself. You can do it! 
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| ALissa3, pbutton
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#4
Nov 02, 2011, 03:25 PM
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Oh gosh yes - I hate the phone. I have to use it at work, but make what excuses I can to avoid it. My therapist is keen for me to call when I am struggling, but I just can't pick up the phone. I am fine with texting / e-mailing - it is just the phone.
As others say above, if I have to use it and have no other option, I have to rehearse what I am going to say and write it down. I also tend to talk really quickly and write on my hand SLOW to remind myself to try to slow down. Soup
__________________
Soup |
| ALissa3
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#5
Nov 02, 2011, 05:39 PM
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Thank you all SO much for your responses! I haven't made the call yet but the clock's not going to go backwards so I think I will jot some things down and then just grab the phone, hit call (and pray for voicemail
 - . Again, thank you and honestly I just feel better knowing I'm not alone.Alissa |
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#6
Nov 02, 2011, 06:18 PM
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I don't like talking on the phone anymore. I think a big part of it now is that having broadband makes our landline really quiet - which means I have to raise my voice above a comfortable level (I'm naturally quiet anyway) and using a mobile to call people is too expensive (I don't have a phone contract that offers any free minutes!) So, I feel like there is a pressure to be succinct. Speaking on the phone to people I usually only communicate with face to face can feel awkward too, as they sound different, and we also can't pick up on the other cues like body language. I also feel nervous of intruding on someone's time by phoning them - therefore I'm much better at recieving calls than I am at making them. I communicate with most people via txt -- it just feels a lot less intrusive, and I can think about what I want to say. I sometimes write down what I want/need to say if I have to make a phonecall, I do find it helps.
I used to work in a call centre taking incoming calls though, and I actually quite liked the job (most of the time!) I guess because it had a relative amount of anonymity, and not much was required of me, conversation-wise, I just had to take orders. To summarise: the level of anxiety changes depending on who I'm talking to and why, as well as who called who! 
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#7
Nov 08, 2011, 01:23 PM
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Oh wow, I thought I was alone in my phone anxiety! I absolutely HATE making and accepting calls, especially to or from people that I do not know. I avoid it like the plague, no doubt.
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#8
Nov 09, 2011, 03:01 PM
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I feel less weird now, I suffer panic attacks sometimes when the phone rings. I think it was seriously from my brief stint trying to make a living being a telemarketer...
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#9
Nov 09, 2011, 03:34 PM
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Quote:
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#10
Nov 09, 2011, 08:57 PM
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Yeah, I could Never be a telemarketer! It just sucks- I'm even starting to get anxious with texts now- even from friends or my Mother! I'm glad I'm not alone!
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#11
Nov 10, 2011, 11:30 AM
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Talking on the phone is very difficult for me. Especially since I got my cell. I tend to cut people off, and the delay in communication on a cellphone makes for awkward conversations.
Call your friend! Just get it over with so you can enjoy the time you will get to spend together. Now if I could just do the same... 
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| ALissa3
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#12
Nov 12, 2011, 11:07 AM
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Just an update- I decided to email my friend and she called me that morning that we were supposed to hang out. I knew I had to answer and she was very upbeat about the day- it helped to motivate me. We had a quick conversation, decided where to meet and it turned out to be a great day. One down
 . Now I have to call my dr back to make an appointment....
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#13
Nov 14, 2011, 04:30 PM
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Quote:
this is the reason I have trouble with the phone. At least with email or text, they can get back to me if it's a bad time. I used to have a volunteer job in peer counseling where I had to call ppl all the time to give them information about a group I was running locally and repeatedly got traumatized by ppl yelling at me or their husbands yelling at me and hanging up on me. I am attempting to deal with that fear now. thanks, Billi
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!  |
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#14
Nov 14, 2011, 04:31 PM
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Quote:
Billi
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness! |
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