So I don't know exactly where this should go so if it needs to be moved, please do.

When I 1st started posting here I was talking about how I felt the need to talk to my teacher on a personal level. I obsess over finding a mother figure & I became drawn to her. I never had a mother & every person who I looked up to as a mother figure has abandoned/rejected me. I was having the hardest time getting myself to tell her how I was feeling. Me not being able to do so & constantly having rambling thoughts of talking to her gave me anxiety really bad. It wasn't to the point of anxiety attacks but just about near.

Well after months of going back & forth with self, I finally decided to write her a letter. It took me a lil while to show her, but this week I did. She didn't say anything, but just gave me a big hug & then later told me I could talk to her about anything after me saying that I keep saying I want to talk but don't know what to say. I thought giving her that letter would ease my anxiety of her but it has only increase. My heart starts racing now for some reason 8\

So I showed her a txt that I was writing saying "I thought letting you read the letter would ease my anxiety, but it didn't." She didn't say anything but gave me this I don't know sound. Then her son walked in & they hugged each other like they haven't seen one another in such a long time. So you know that tore me up inside. I envy that...I envy the affection & love she shows toward her sons because I never received that from my mom.

So now this obsession is on expanding. I can't stop thinking of her...I even dream of her. I've he dreams of talking to her & last night I had a dream that she asked if I wanted to come stay with her. I feel crazy for obsessing over someone like this. I don't know what to do to stop & my anxiety just keeps coming back...even now as I type this.

I was thinking about writing her another letter but I feel stupid that I can't just talk to her. She already told me I could, but I feel like I can't. I don't want her to be annoyed about me writing letters. I need help...I don't want to have these thoughts & I don't want to have this anxiety 8(

I am a teacher. This kind of situation can be very tricky for us. We are not therapists, and while we don't have a problem talking to a student about pretty standard issues, there is a point at which we just are not equipped to handle certain problems. At that point teachers are trained to hand over the situation to a counselor as they are trained for that. Teachers who try to handle more than they are really trained to handle can find themselves in some very sticky situations.

When a student starts obsessing about a teacher, it is very important for the teacher to maintain healthy, professional boundaries. We are not our students parents nor are we their friends; we have to be careful that those lines don't get blurred. I hope this teacher has professional boundaries with you. Some teachers don't and end up in a world a hurt and often professional trouble.

I would suggest you see a therapist who can help you through this obsession with your teacher. It would be best for your peace of mind and for your teacher's dilemma in how to handle this situation (and I am pretty certain this is a dilemma for her -- it should be).

Now I feel like crap because I don't want to do that to her. I understand what you're saying & I get that. I have a T & we are trying to work on it I guess...

Didn't want you to feel like crap, but there is a reality that teachers work under that I thought you might need to hear. Glad to hear you have a T.

No I know...thanks for responding. I really appreciate it.