[Fullofanxiety]

I have been promoted to a Managers position for a few weeks for holiday relief. I have been working toward this for a year almost and know I can do the job well. My problem is I want to do it perfectly and have everyone give me a little praise (too much I can't handle as I don't believe it to be true) and receive no criticism as that flips me out into major anxiety attack and obsession. My boss is hyper critical (points out if I use the wrong colour pen/my handwriting is messy) and I tie myself in knots trying to please (same thing I have been doing for my parents all my life to no avail). I don't start for a couple weeks and I have been flipping out for days I know I can't please all of the people all of the time but I try, I really really try and all I end up doing is annoying a lot of people I am trying to please. God it's just a job, I push push push myself into getting promoted and then panic I have talked myself up and someone will find out.

Oh writing this stuff down anonymously on a forum is soo good, I feel calmer already.

1. If I couldn't do the job or do it well enough the super hyper critical boss wouldn't have given me the opportunity.
2. I am as good if not better than the person I am covering for and they have done this for years.
3. You can't be perfect in a job you haven't done for years and years. Knowledge is built up over time and there is no substitute for experience.
4. I can't be good at the job until I have done it and a Month of practice will be a fantastic start.
5. My issues with pleasing people is my issue stemmed from a need to please my hypercritical parents and they won't change so I need to put up or shut up about that starting now.
6. That's all I got for now, phewwww.

Wow I feel better. Press send and it's gone.

[Caretaker Leo]

Hey - that is so exciting that you have this opportunity!

I love what you wrote down as items to help you calm down. Just from my own experience, may I offer some thoughts to your list?

1. I think it says a lot that your "super hyper critical boss" is giving you this opportunity. A boss who feels threatened would not do so. Perhaps he/she sees the potential in you. So smile and enjoy!

2. The only way someone develops skills is by being given opportunities - and if you are newer and given the chance to fill in for someone who has years of experience - that is another good sign that they see your potential. Because you believe you can do as good if not better speaks well for your self-confidence. Who knows - you might just see a way to do something more efficiently during this time - and that is a positive for the company.

3. STOP!!! No one is PERFECT. Please don't go there. All of us can strive to do our best - but there will always be room to improve. Experience does not equal perfect.

4. Yes! Again, you are being given a wonderful opportunity to grow, learn and add to your experience. Be sure to add it to your resume for the future!

5. "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time. (Lincoln)".

You can please some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time - but you will never please all of the people all of the time. In a Manager position - the goal is to find options that will please most of the people as often as possible and meet the goal of the company.

Again - enjoy this opportunity!

[Fullofanxiety]

Hey Thanks Leo, I do have to get over my 'all or nothing' mindset and my need for 'perfection'. That's the basis of all my anxiety attacks but coming here is helping my chattering brain to calm down and see things clearer.