[RachelLyn915]

Hello everyone,
My name is Rachel and I am a recovering hypochondriac with GAD and PD. After a very rough 5 months, I was doing pretty well the last few weeks until the other day. The anxiety is back and I am back to constantly fighting the sense of impending doom. My face, head, neck, shoulders and now my arms are tense and sore. My chest is tight, my resting heart rate is on the high end of normal and it feels hard to breath but it isn't. My stomach has been upset, I am bloated, have heart burn and acid reflux. One part of my brain is screaming "You're dying!" while the other more rational part of my brain is calmly saying "No, you are not dying, those are classic symptoms of anxiety. All of your systems aren't shutting down all at once. Calm down, drama queen."

I believe there are 4 roots to my problem. 1) I hurt my foot last week so I haven't been able to exercise and haven't felt like getting up and cooking something healthy to eat. 2) We had a water main break in our area so we have been under a boil advisory for a few days, so my water intake has went down and my pop intake has went up. 3) This was the last week of the winter semester. 4) April 30th would have been my late fiance's 32nd birthday.

I have been pushing myself to fight the anxiety and accept that it is just anxiety. I do not want to leave the couch, let alone leave the house but I pushed myself to go to a friend's house, meet two people from Facebook to buy a new pair of shoes and bathing suit (no worries, I took my boyfriend and met in very public places for safety reasons), and go grocery shopping. I keep telling myself that if I can just accept its anxiety and relax I will start to feel better. (Not working yet.) I plan to resume exercising tomorrow and will be having Sunday dinner with my mom (its like Mini Thanksgiving: a baked stuffed chicken, with a bunch of side dishes). The boil advisory was lifted today so I will be drinking more water. The semester is officially over and I have gotten past April 30th.

I am confident that I will start feeling better in a few days, especially since I took the time to express my feelings on here. Thank you to anyone who reads this. I really just did it for therapeutic reasons, but if anyone has any advice or encouraging words please feel free to comment.

[Little Lulu]

Hello RachelLyn915. Sorry to hear you are having an anxious spell but at least you are in touch with the triggers, which aren't small. Frequently when the triggers have subsided, it takes a bit for my anxiety to diminish. Knowing 'this, too, shall pass' b/c it always does helps me. Glad you got it out in a safe place. (((Hugs)))

[Chimney]

You've done incredibly well.

One thought popped into my mind while reading this. In preparation for the next time you have a "I'm dying" vs "drama queen" moment (loved how you described that)... is there anything you could do to help ease the anxiety? I suffer from panic attacks every once in a while. I have called the ambulance twice thinking I was having a coronary. How you described your anxiety PHYSICALLY sounded very familiar. Although I understand that it could be completely different.

I personally respond very well to loud music with a strong vibrating bass. The vibration of the bass seems to start to regulate my own heart beat. For example, when I am feeling on the verge of a panic attack or realising that "I'm not dying", I put on my "serenity" play list which is full of .....I don't know. ....druids saluting the dawning sun/shamans dancing around with dreamcatchers... kind of music. I don't mean to disrespect the genre of music, I just haven't got a clue what it's called. ... It's just really calming, soothing, drum beat based music that slowly, surely brings my nervous system back down to a point where I no longer feel threatened.

Can you think of anything else that you might be able to put into place for that next time?

[RachelLyn915]

Originally Posted by Chimney

You've done incredibly well.

One thought popped into my mind while reading this. In preparation for the next time you have a "I'm dying" vs "drama queen" moment (loved how you described that)... is there anything you could do to help ease the anxiety? I suffer from panic attacks every once in a while. I have called the ambulance twice thinking I was having a coronary. How you described your anxiety PHYSICALLY sounded very familiar. Although I understand that it could be completely different.

I personally respond very well to loud music with a strong vibrating bass. The vibration of the bass seems to start to regulate my own heart beat. For example, when I am feeling on the verge of a panic attack or realising that "I'm not dying", I put on my "serenity" play list which is full of .....I don't know. ....druids saluting the dawning sun/shamans dancing around with dreamcatchers... kind of music. I don't mean to disrespect the genre of music, I just haven't got a clue what it's called. ... It's just really calming, soothing, drum beat based music that slowly, surely brings my nervous system back down to a point where I no longer feel threatened.

Can you think of anything else that you might be able to put into place for that next time?

I haven't tried anything like that yet. I have tried exercising to try to use the negative energy towards something positive and I can sometimes use the fact that I can run without passing out (as well as raise my heart rate then see it return to normal) to convince myself it is anxiety rather than death. I have also started coming to this website to talk and connect with others when I am anxious. In the past I have tried some relaxation techniques but they just made me more anxious. I try to distract my mind rather than focus in on my anxiety or desire to not have it.

[Chimney]

I really understand that. Maybe think of things that would have the power to distract you. That is exactly what the music is doing for me. It gives something very simple to focus on. ....the beat. I try to breathe to the beat if you know what I mean.

I'm still playing with mindfulness and meditation but struggle as go off track so easily. I can focus on a beat of music but if I try to focus on my breathing just by itself, especially when my nervous system is on high alert, my efforts fall by the wayside. I'm still practicing though. I do think that one day it will help me.

The one thing that HAS come from my looking into mindfulness was a tiny comment in a single article I read on flipboard. As I like to understand what is happening in my physical body at a deeper level, I read that if we breathe in deeply. ....and hold our breathe for even for just a couple of seconds. ....that this tells our fight/flight/freeze nervous system that it's OK. .....and the response from our body is that our heart rate with drop, and I'm sure it said our boys pressure does too.

I had a go breathing in deeply and holding my breath for just a count of 2 or 3...whichever felt right. ..... and I could feel something different.

I saw my doctor for a regular check in about a week later and asked her about this as I hadn't found any other article to back this one up. She said that it does happen that way. Off the top of my head I think it's called the sympathetic nervous system. Other articles speaks of taking longer to breath out than in. ....but I work better with the "hold breathe for a couple of seconds". Finally after years of people saying "take deep breaths" I have the reasoning WHY.

Every now and then. ....when I'm so razzed up and fidgety, talking so fast that not even I can understand what I'm saying, or when I can feel my frustration climbing a tad close to a blow out.....every now and then I remember to take a long and shaking breath in. ....then I consciously try to hold it for a couple of moments. .....then I breath it all back out again. I can actually FEEL my heart rate slow down.

The more I remember to practice this " in the moment" when I am feeling so razzed up inside me and around me. .......the more easily I remember to TRY it.

So that might be a tiny little thing you could try....and hopefully you'll find it equally helpful.

It makes sense too why breathing to my music helps so much as I am effectively breathing in to a count of 4 then back out to a count of 6.....otherwise I hyperventilate. So it's that longer breath out.

Isn't it wonderful learning WHY we're told to do something as simple as breathing deeply?