[Rachelakabatman]

I am 21. I struggled with severe depression for a year. I actually was admitted in the hospital because it got so bad. I am now on 40mg of Prozac, and while it works wonders, I still struggle with my thoughts. I almost lost my friends to this. My family distanced themselves. I lost myself to this. When it got really bad I got desperate to do anything new. I needed a change. I applied and attended school. It gives my life meaning. I am done with this semester in two weeks. I am a certified dog groomer and I own a business out of my house but I don't keep that busy.... I am trying but I don't have a successful business, which makes me feel like a loser. I can't get another job because I have two vacations planned and paid for that I cant miss.
All of my friends have jobs and other friends. I have two friends and they are both so busy I will never see them. I feel like such a loser! Ugh!
I am afraid of summer break. I am afraid of old thoughts and habits coming back. Yes, I am on meds but I am afraid that wont be enough. I don't ever want to feel as hopeless as I did. I don't want to live my life in fear of relapse. Any thoughts? Advice?

[Dont_Follow]

Perhaps before you felt stuck and directionless. I'm certainly familiar with that feeling. Do you have a goal set now? Going for a degree? I think having a real goal can keep away the darkness. Also, based on what you say about your thoughts, it sounds like you're an ideal candidate for CBT. Have you tried it before?

[Travelinglady]

Hi and welcome to Psych Central! I think many of us have anxiety about relapse. All we can do is take our meds, try to eat and sleep well, avoid lots of stress, see our doctors and therapists, and try to enjoy each day as it comes the best we can.

Keep as busy as you can without too much stress and take pleasure in what happens. I have two vacations scheduled for this summer, and I sometimes worry I won't be up to taking them, but I try to watch good TV shows, get involved in projects, read enjoyable books, etc.

I even have anxiety about having anxiety, since I've been decreasing my Klonopin. Oh, well. (I have GAD and bipolar.)

Let's survive!

[RachelLyn915]

Could you try a new hobby? Or look forward to your vacations! I suffer from anxiety, not depression, but I feel better when I spend time on here. Telling my story and fears, as well as providing advice to others. Since you have battled depression and gotten better you sound like a good candidate to help people who are in that dark, ugly place you were in. Even if you don't have any tips aside from meds you can be inspirational.

That just made me think that maybe volunteering would be a good idea too. That would be flexible, give you something to do, something to put on your resume and make you feel good about yourself.

[Random]

You have meds, you have new coping skills you didnt have before. I remember once I started noticing my depression coming back, familiar symptoms and my anxiety shot through the roof. My therapist helped remind me that just because theres a few familar places doesnt mean the destination is going to be the same.

I agree with the other posters who mentioned CBT and things like volunteering or anything that puts you around people. Its natural to isolate when feeling blue but that sometimes can work against us. Being around people through work, volunteering, entertainment etc is a great way to eventually find people you click with and make more friends with.