[sboyle522]

So I am a teenager, a High School Junior. My parents and I are getting into fights about me getting a job, and bringing me to colleges. I know that a crucial part of the college application process is visiting colleges, and getting accustomed to the campus. They say that visiting colleges are a privilege, along with actually going to college. They say, that if I have no job by the time the summer starts, then they will refuse to bring me to colleges, and will start refusing to bring to my mental health counselor and doctors appointments, since I will be 18 in May. I am getting mad, furious, and totally stressed. I am screaming at the top of my lungs to get my point across. I feel like they are hearing nothing that I am saying, and that they are taking away from my college education, and I feel like going to school and getting good grades should be good enough for them. I have even told them in a calm manner my opinions, they still say, "no you need a part time job, and all we are asking is 20 hours a week, were not asking for 50 hours a week." I get mad since, this summer I will have a lot of summer work since I will be going into AP Physics, and Honors English. They are mad since I am on the computer a lot and don't have many friends and don't get too much social, as I think I have serious social anxiety. If anyone could help with my situation that would be great. Thanks!

[dailyhealing]

Hello sboyle522,

I am so glad you shared what you did on here! Asking for help, for me, is a very hard thing to do. I'm not sure I can help you, but I can offer some support and some questions. It sounds unfair to me that your parents are threatening your mental health care if you don't do what they ask with the job. I am a parent and couldn't imagine doing that to my kids. It also sounds like you are in a really rough spot. Do your parents understand your anxiety issues? Do you have other friends or family you can talk to? I have had issues with anxiety, and I know that I am not ready to do something until I am ready. I can't force it. So I would be concerned that if you are not really ready to work that doing so could be very overwhelming for you, especially since you have a busy summer with getting ready for your classes. My final thought is that you are very important, and taking care of your mental health is probably more important than anything else. I hope to keep hearing from you on here!

dailyhealing

[Rosie23]

Do your parents believe that pushing you to get a job will help you move beyond your phobias? These things are not easily understood by people who do not have them.

And education is expensive. Most students have to work part time while going to school to help pay for their basic needs, like shampoo and mac & cheese.

You stated that you feel you have serious social anxiety. Something like that will have a big impact on your success at school as well. If you are too socially anxious to have a part time job, how will function away at school?
You may have confused your parents by using that as a reason to not work. It comes across as simply a bad excuse.

I hope you and your parents can work through this together.

[gma45]

Sounds like your parents do not understand mental illness, I bet they think you are just being lazy. Maybe you could have your therapist talk with them. Screaming will get you no where as I am sure you found out. School is important and as you start your last year of high school you need enjoy it as you will not be there again but at the same time your parents probably want you to take on some responsibility with a part time job, like paying for your own gas for car and ins. I kinda see where you both are coming from there is just a real lack of communication that you both will have to work on maybe with some outside help you can both come to a happy medium. I wish you the best.

[likewater]

I agree that parents should go with you to counseling.

It sounds as if your parents do not understand what you are going through, health-wise. Hopefully, they will agree to go to T with you

If you don't mind me asking: Do you drive, have a friend that drives or have access to public transportation? Do you get an allowance? (I know you are struggling right now, but perhaps you can you take yourself to your next appointment and discuss the matter with your T/P)

Your situation resonates quite a bit for me in that my parents would "punish" me by withholding and talking me into thinking I could not function successfully without their emotional and/or (in particular) financial support. Love was very conditional.

It never occurred to me that I could do it on my own (be successful, understood, supported and loved) with/by other resources. And that was OK.