[Edamame101]

While I've been diagnosed with Anxiety before, I've never been diagnosed with any kind of problems socially, However, from a very young age, I've always been the social outcast. The rest of my family is normal, and they fit in everywhere they go. They all have friends, and people like them. Unlike me. All throughout elementary school, I was bullied physically, and verbally. Then, in highschool, I remember having holes punched in my ramen noodle cups so when I went to fill them with boiling hot water, it burned my feet. I remember eating in the bathroom, because I didn't have any friends. I figured things would get better, I figured my life would turn around once I got into college. It didn't.

I don't get how my entire family can be socially accepted, but I can't! What am I doing wrong? Why can't I just be myself and have friends that appreciate me for what I am?! I've never understood it, and I wonder if it's just my personality that turns people off. To be honest, at this point in my life, I'm just sick, and tired. I'm so done with living. If this is what it's going to be for the rest of my life, what's the point of living anymore? What's the point in going on alone in the world, because I'm ****ing socially retarded? Was I ****ing hit on the head as a child, and that's why I'm so godawful at this ****? I just don't ****ing get it! I try to fit in, I wear makeup, I worry about my appearance, and even put out, but it's not enough. People don't like me.

I'm horrified to get in social situations now. I avoid them like the plague. I've been so rejected so often that I just would rather skip the entire awkward phase, and get right to the alone again phase. It seems this is my life now, so I'll either have to live like this forever, or just give up.

I mean, what choices do I really have?

That's a tough problem and I hope you get someone who can give you a better answer than I can on the primary questions. It's hard to know what you're doing wrong or if you're doing anything wrong based on the info provided.

I mean, what choices do I really have?

Pragmatism.
Find or develop your own social group. Everyone doesn't expect as much as you think they do. If you're not just straightup obnoxious you can find friends and a social group to hang out with.