Bad anxiety today for some reason

NinaNina · Jun 22, 2012, 08:36 AM

I've been having a pretty good week...I've felt pretty calm except for a couple instances, which were things I got over relatively quickly.

Last night my boyfriend said he was going to hang out with his (male) friend for a bit. He was gone for about two hours and for some reason it made me very anxious...but the worst of it was this morning! I even saw his friends car pull up so I know thats who he was with...but I got all these bad images which is ridiculous but I've been feeling terrible all morning because of it. I almost burst into tears several times and I can't shake this stress and anxious feeling. Before I left for work I even felt like I was having a panick attack...I couldn't breathe and I had to try really hard to breathe deeply.

This is so stupid I can't shake this anxiety today

whatbeanbelieved · Jun 22, 2012, 09:27 AM

Hi Nina,

I'm sorry your anxiety is so bad today. Sometimes these things catch us off guard and we don't really know what to do with them. If it helps, you might choose to consider... is this the first time this kind of thing has happened? If it has happened before, is there any common element in these episodes? If not, what happened today, other than your boyfriend leaving?

Many hugs
Bean

NinaNina · Jun 22, 2012, 09:55 AM

Thank you for the reply. I've gotten anxious before for a reason I couldn't really figure out, but I find the level of my anxiety today is just really high. And nothing else really happened other than my boyfriend leaving. I have had problems with being anxious when my boyfriend is not around, but not usually in a case like this where I was just with him and he was just going out for a bit and then coming back. And usually when I know who he is with or where he is any anxiety I have goes away or at least decreases a lot. Today is just ridiculous.

whatbeanbelieved · Jun 22, 2012, 10:00 AM

Sounds like you'd really like some assurance about where he is and perhaps also that he will come back? Is it a question of whether he is out with "someone else", so to speak, or more a fear that he will not come back?

Also, is there any way you have tackled this anxiety before?

NinaNina · Jun 22, 2012, 10:03 AM

Thats the ridiculous thing...this happened last night! He went out with his friend a little before 9, was gone for almost two hours then he came back last night. And everything was fine.

And then this morning I started thinking about it and I started feeling this way, I don't understand it. I haven't really found ways to tackle my anxiety yet...I'm still working on that.

whatbeanbelieved · Jun 22, 2012, 10:11 AM

Ahhh... that sounds really troubling and confusing, on top of being anxious (like a huge cup of bad ice-cream >_<). I guess one thing to remember is that fear and anxiety and anger are all symptoms ... they're telling us something, but they have these language problems, so you're sort of stuck with a bad communicator. Which can be frustrating, confusing, and... can also feel really unfair, because you didn't do anything to make this happen. So in some ways one feels helpless and lost.

In my experience, it helps to do something to counter this feeling - like finding some safety (in perhaps, say, a cup of really good non-metaphorical chocolate ice cream or a hug or something that is safe for you). But at the same time, the symptoms have causes and those are the keys to feeling less helpless. I think that acknowledging what happened and being connected to it is one HUGE step anyway.

Would you like some suggestions or is it easier and more fruitful for you to search on your own?

NinaNina · Jun 22, 2012, 10:14 AM

Thank you so much for your reply again. Yes it is very frusterating which is making the anxiety much worse.

I am always open to suggestions

Jun 22, 2012, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NinaNina

Thats the ridiculous thing...this happened last night! He went out with his friend a little before 9, was gone for almost two hours then he came back last night. And everything was fine.

And then this morning I started thinking about it and I started feeling this way, I don't understand it. I haven't really found ways to tackle my anxiety yet...I'm still working on that.

((((Nina))))

I am sorry you are feeling this way. No fun

I can relate (ugh. it's miserable)

When I feel anxious and I don't know why, it's usually that I am feeling fearful of something (yep. "something" not helpful, I know but at least it's "something").

Have you spoken with your BF about it? Like, "hey honey, I feel anxiety this morning and I don't know why..." and then have a convo...maybe it will pop into your head

I hope feel better soon! Hugs to you.

whatbeanbelieved · Jun 22, 2012, 01:37 PM

I agree with Rose, in that often just speaking about it helps it pop up, whether it's with your boyfriend or with someone else.

To add to the thing about ... knowing you're fearful of something, and figuring out that something... it helps to work out what you're wanting in that moment. For eg: you could be afraid of being alone (just an example) and correspondingly you could be wanting support or assurance or company or connection. Working out what you're needing helps tremendously, because you're also then in a position where you can attempt to get that thing you need.

Hope that makes sense and you get some clarity soon!

NinaNina · Jun 22, 2012, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose Panachée

((((Nina))))

Have you spoken with your BF about it? Like, "hey honey, I feel anxiety this morning and I don't know why..." and then have a convo...maybe it will pop into your head

I hope feel better soon! Hugs to you.

Thank you for your reply

I haven't spoken to him about it today, since we're both at work and I don't like talking about these sorts of things over text messages.

I did talk to a friend of mine about it though and I'm starting to feel a little better....still a bit anxious about it though and really can't understand why ugh

Thanks again for your response and support

NinaNina · Jun 22, 2012, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatbeanbelieved

I agree with Rose, in that often just speaking about it helps it pop up, whether it's with your boyfriend or with someone else.

To add to the thing about ... knowing you're fearful of something, and figuring out that something... it helps to work out what you're wanting in that moment. For eg: you could be afraid of being alone (just an example) and correspondingly you could be wanting support or assurance or company or connection. Working out what you're needing helps tremendously, because you're also then in a position where you can attempt to get that thing you need.

Hope that makes sense and you get some clarity soon!

Thanks again

I think your right and figuring out what it is I want in the moment would definitely help...I'll try that for this and in the future. Also on a side note- love your little video clip on your signature...too funny!