[Myzen]

Hi folks,

I am very interested in something that came up in the 'witnessing' thread, and that is - gender differences in anxiety behaviour.

First off, I think that I may be quite exceptional, as a male, in discussing my anxiety illness on an open forum. I've just realised that there is quite a shortage of other males posting here on this subject.

Anyway, I'm not a health professional, but I have long years teaching adults, including disturbed adults, and I have my own life experience to draw on. My anecdotal evidence is that men do not express their anxieties in the same way as women do.

I can't remember ever being in a group of men who talked openly about their personal anxieties, not one time in 58 years! However, working in adult ed, I was surrounded by women tutors, and I found that they regularly expressed their anxieties in group settings, and they found it very easy to do so.

So, in discussing 'witnessing anxiety and panic' the gender element must be considered. As I said elsewhere, for myself, my strategy to deal with panic disorder has been repression, control and isolation, with a public show of normality as paramount. If this is the case with me, and I am unusually open about my feelings, how are we to witness anxiety and panic in other males? My guess is that the nearest we will get to seeing overt panic in a male is aggression, a typical strategy that males use to cover their fear. I have seen it and experienced in my father many times, as you folks know.

However, just because a male won't speak about anxiety doesn't mean that he isn't in an anxiety state, and just because a female will speak about anxiety, doesn't mean that she is in an anxiety state.

The overt signals are confusing. Despite this I firmly believe that we can recognise genuine suffering when we see it, as one poster said, we see it the eyes. There is no mistaking the real thing.

Cheers, M

PS - Funny story. My unusualness hit me a couple of years ago. I had just been to a yoga session, where I was the only man in a room full of 30 women. I didn't think twice about this until I was leaving the gym, a door opened and I looked in to the kick boxing area, where 30 men were beating hell out of each other and there wasn't a woman to be seen! LOL

[Sabrina]

You know, I tend to agree with everything you have noted here. I have seen men react to their anxiety in a number of different ways than what I would. (As a generalization).

Thanks for your last paragraph on the kickboxing. Needed that laugh right about now.

[Myzen]

Hi Sabrina,

I'm always trying to work things out rationally, which is another 'man' thing I guess.

But the humour fits us all. Good grief, when we have lives like ours we just have to laugh sometimes!! LOL

Thanks for your sensitive replies, they are much appreciated.

Cheers, Myzenman

myzenman.....lol.....all i can say after reading your posts is....."wouldn't we women LOVE to have a man as sensitive and open about his feelings as you are!!!!!!!"......you are a jewel among men !!!!!

Myzen,
Your post is fantastic! And you sound like a wonderful individual yourself! Thanks for the great information/observation!

Sujin

[jmo531]

I agree Myzen. Women are more apt to discuss their anxiety then men.

I think I am pretty perceptive about people. I usually can tell when someone is struggling with something. I dont usually ask, but if someone wants to confide in me, I will certainly listen and offer advice if I can.

Do you ever pay attention to the statistics they come out with regarding how many women suffer from depression vs how many men suffer from it? The number of women diagnosed is significantly higher then those of men. I think that is because men DO NOT seek treatment for their depression or mental illness in general. I think its just because society expects for Men to be stronger.
Sad to say but I think that is how people really think.

[Lexicon78]

I think most women do express themselves more, but there are some who do not for whatever reason.

I actually know some women who are more like those guys in that kickboxing class!

[Myzen]

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Lexicon78 said:
I think most women do express themselves more, but there are some who do not for whatever reason.

I actually know some women who are more like those guys in that kickboxing class!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Ha Ha, I was waiting for someone to spot my generalisation!

Nice one Lex.

Cheers, M

[ster]

Reading this was very interesting. I can agree with what had been said. this is the first time in theripy I keep things inside. I am just starting to open it will take a while thanks for being here.

[(JD)]

Myzen, you are so right in many ways! In my life I have met and seen many men who ARE in touch "with their feminine side" and can feel comfortable sharing, and doing yoga and all that stuff. Self-assured men who don't have to try and prove their masculinity, nor try to hide the softer side, by engaging in the macho man stuff all the time.

I think you are a good mentor here... as there are many men who read but don't post, imo.