Differences of Opinions???

I have a certain member at my site who is becoming rather...argumentative. I'm not the only one having trouble with her, either. My co-admin is also PMing me constantly about her behavior, posts, etc. I'm trying to do all I can for this girl, but she keeps saying things that aren't quite...agreeable?

She asked if she was being mean because she thinks that it's an ok thing to give good friends the cold shoulder and ignore them and all that just because they don't do what you tell them to. I think if you think like that then you are...I don't know the word for it...it's just not a good thing!

I tried to tell her honestly that it's not right to expect this kind of bossiness to be ok while everyone else does exactly what you say and when you say it. Well, she highly disagreed with me, saying I was mean, wrong, etc. etc.

My response? "All I'm gonna say is that you are gonna have a very unhappy life if you expect this from everyone." I really wanted to tell her off, tell her what to kiss, etc., but I still respect the members of my site enough not to do things like that no matter how angered I am.

Do you think I handled it correctly? Am I wrong because I told her nobody is gonna do what they are told if they don't want to????

I am assuming from what you wrote that you really did tell her directly that the way she was acting was coming across as mean, etc? And then she refused to hear it.

You did fine, except why are you angry? Don't allow her problems to become yours... unless she is your problem..really that it's up to YOU to correct the situation. Otherwise, distance yourself more from this. She must have some reason to have asked you in the first place, as she obviously wouldn't have thought of her being a problem on her own?

If you wish to continue dialogue, ask her why she did ask, and why you, and what did she want for a response... ??? Good wishes with this!

I guess I guess I got so angry because I think it's wrong to be so...rude...to someone when they are so emotional. Actually I find her behavior to be quite manipulative. She even said she's doing this so her "friend" will do as she told her to.

I know I can get quite upset when people don't see things as I do or disagree with certain things. I guess I have such a strong belief system on certain things (especially on how people are to be treated) and when people disagree I get quite irate. I dunno.

Lexi, this person does sound rather manipulative and you can only so much support and advice and if some one chooses not to pay any attention but then get not very pleasant towards you and makes you feel slightly guilty or worried about your response to her then that is definitely not good, we all need support and I know for a fact that you are awesome at being supportive............... this person is not only self destructing but trying to make people who care about go down with her, not cool and NO WAY you said nothing wrong to her. Think the only thing you can do is say to her that she asks for advice, if she chooses to take it or not, thats her own mission. Biggest Huggles, you're awwwwesome

People will always disagree, I don't think that fact is ever going to change. But having said that I can only agree with tracylee's post which was very intuitive.

(((Lexicon)))

Lexi, you did the right thing. She wants to hear that she's right, and she's not. Even if she were, you're entitled to your opinion, and she asked for it. Most people do not respond well to being bossed around; you're just telling her what she should expect. If she doesn't like it, she should change it. Otherwise, she should accept this is how it will be.

She might be the eldest or an older sister; often, older siblings tend to be bossy towards other ones, and they extend that into their lives, sometimes. It's not always the case, but it might be why she's bossy.

Most people do not respond well to being bossed around, invalidated and ignored by a "friend". I think you responded in an honest but respectful way despite the behaviour. Kudos to you!

I think you handled it well, Lexi. That doesn't mean that you're going to get the response/reaction that you want, though.

Lexi I think you handled this very well, and I would not have handled it any differntly.

You have did all you can for this young lady, and you really can not baby her or you will never move on..

She has to learn to grow up, and move on past this eposide and if she cant then i feel very sorry for her..