[cusack10]

really looking to go outside to meet new people,find some support,but i'm afraid of being harmed.my family are snobish,and outside it people are even more snobish as weakness draws bullies.so i'm oppressed inside and outside.others pose an intrusion on my basic interests,and i can do nothing about it.the pain is undescribable.
i viewed some posts concerning introverted people,which are saying that you need to practice,you'll change after you work.but since i don't have the backing,or the power,or the base sort of build-up,i'm worrying that i would fall up when i meet bad.instructions needed.the backing i am talking about is things you can retreat to when it becomes unreasonable or a fight.
what occasion suit this type of me?
i think the backing is built with reason or truth,you can't build it with confrontations or conflicts,so in what occasion does truth or reason take a relatively firmer stand?
to put it simpler,i am studying the method of building the backing,hope you can give me some advices...

[whatbeanbelieved]

Hello there... congratulations for making this decision to head outside and meet new people. I think just the decision is a huge step and the fact that you're making it yourself is very empowering.

I am a little confused about what it is that you're looking for here. I'm reading two things: that you want to be able to retreat from and avoid conflict, and that you want to reach out to more social situations and find support. Please correct me if I am wrong.

This is what I think about those two things (one at a time!):

Reason and truth, to be very honest, very rarely work with most "normal" poeople - because human beings are not built on pure reason. Maybe you can try to really narrow down what sorts of situations are threatening, and then attempt to avoid them. If they are inevitable, then, sometimes, it helps to simply be armed with the knowledge that most people are fallible and what they say about you isn't necessarily true.

About meeting new people: Is there an interest group you can join, or a yoga class, or a reading group or something? Perhaps it will help to have an environment where the conversation is directed and somewhat controlled... and where you can choose when and how to participate. Perhaps that will be easier.

I would love some clarification about what you meant, and if I'm on the right track in terms of what I'm saying.

Hoping all of this works out for you,
Bean

[Perna]

I would start where you are and work out. Think of a subject, say, "birds" and study the ones in your yard/outside your window. Describe them, draw them (if you are artistic) and find out what they are. Then maybe go out to the closest library. No one will fight you there. Go in the middle of the day and find a book about birds. Then maybe find out about local bird watching groups and join one or a class at a community college. In my area the local state parks often need people to help count the returning birds, for example, and no one doing that will fight or be hurtful.

Find something you like and work out. If you like cooking, want to learn to cook, practice at home a little bit and then get books at the library and then take a class. The subjects you pick aren't going to be things that people fight about I don't think. Going to the library will not cause many problems.

[cusack10]

thank you.
i believe that when you acknowledge that most people are fallible and what they say about you isn't necessarily true,you have to have a souce to prove it,that is a place in the mind that is saying you're right and what it is true about you.
learning a skill is a good cause,but there are still a lot of put downs more than instructions,you'll be put down if you don't have a stand in people in real life,as i said,my basic interests are violated...
i think we all are reaching out for peace,truth,support.it is just that good and bad are mixed,we have to distinguish it.when meeting bad,you need to have the backing which you can retreat to and defend youself...

[whatbeanbelieved]

In my understanding, wellbeing endeavours are aiming for making sure that the backing you are talking about IS the mind. The absence of security within oneself can be really difficult. Is that what you're going through?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by cusack10

thank you.
i believe that when you acknowledge that most people are fallible and what they say about you isn't necessarily true,you have to have a souce to prove it,that is a place in the mind that is saying you're right and what it is true about you.
learning a skill is a good cause,but there are still a lot of put downs more than instructions,you'll be put down if you don't have a stand in people in real life,as i said,my basic interests are violated...
i think we all are reaching out for peace,truth,support.it is just that good and bad are mixed,we have to distinguish it.when meeting bad,you need to have the backing which you can retreat to and defend youself...

I have learned there is good and bad in any group. I feel like there is much gossip in groups and put down, as well. I am often scared of what ppl th ink of me, no matter what kind of group I am in. I th ink I do need some kind of backing or something so I can feel okay about myself, and if someone doesn't like me or attacks me, I can defend myself, and/or just let it go and not take so hard. There is good and bad anywhere. I have belonged to groups, gone to classes, myself and I hear gossip, I hear good things. I do need to feel okay and to feel strong when I am dealing with others anywhere.

I apologize if I was off the beam. If this was not what you meant, you can go ahead and disregard; if I was right on, take it if you want to.

thanks,

Billi

[cusack10]

thank you,billi,for sharing your thought on my question,i appreciate it.but i think that we are through with why,we are now on how,how to build the backing,how to feel okay and strong.
owing that i've been oppressed,so my words may not be well organised.you know,doing bad things,or being material,selfish,can also achieve something,though in short term,so it is not corresponding or responsable,meaning it is not that that doing bad gets bad results,doing good gets benefits.so what i am digging here now is that what doing bad can't achieve,when or where it is corresponding,in long term,as our life is a long run project.thank you.

[cusack10]

i mean the backing is built with truth or reason.i am asking where it is,and untill now i find out that there is truth and reason when it is corresponding or responsive.get it?anyone,come on,give me a sound.

[cusack10]

Originally Posted by cusack10

so i'm oppressed inside and outside.others pose an intrusion on my basic interests,and i can do nothing about it.the pain is undescribable.

seen and felt the worst,i am kind of over the edge,what can i do?