[uchiha]

Greetings everyone! I am a 39 years old male having panic attacks.

I was diagnose with having panic attacks two months ago. I am having a hard time dealing with it. It comes and goes; I have no control over it.

Today I had a really bad attack at the barbershop in middle of getting a hair cut. I started to take deep breath from my stomach to control my breathing, but it was not helping. Tried every everything to control my thoughts. I could tell a few people, including the barber, was wondering what was wrong with me. I felt so embarrassed. I made some bogus excuse about not eating this morning and was feeling light-headed. I came home and felt like crap because of the attack and having to lie as to what was going on with me at the time. Right now, I am feeling like crap and I so want to take the Lorazepam, but trying to hold out. I have been tapering my dosage for the last 2 weeks. My last dosage was 0.25mg two days ago.

I am new to this forum, so I guess a little history is in order:

I have never had panic attacks before, if any thing normal anxiety when I have to speak in front of groups of people. Ok, I wouldn't say quite "normal", but nothing severe. The reason for my anxiety attacks was due to my stammering. I was taking 0.5 mg of Lorezapam and was taking it when needed. Months will pass sometimes before I even needed to take one.

My panic attacks started after I ran 6 miles. Well, not directly after my run, but a few hours later I started having problem breathing, tingling sensations, soreness in my chess, and an overall feeling of weakness. Basically, I felt like I was going to die.

Later that evening I went to the ER. My family thought I was having a stroke, or an heart attack.

Chess x-ray and CAT scan was done and the doctors did not find anything wrong. They said I was probably dehydrated; did not drink enough fluids. After, 3hrs or so in the ER taking in IV they let me go. I agreed with the docs because that was likely. So I spent the next few days rehydrating. But still felt light-headed, fatigue, and just not my self. At that time I was not taking any prescription drugs or anything just drinking plenty of fluids.

Approximately, a week after that I had another panic attack (at that time we thought it was another problem with my heart) and we went to the ER. Again, another round of chess x-ray and cat scans and nothing came up. Because I was experiencing soreness in my chess they kept me overnight for observations. Early morning another round of tests was done: echo on my heart, ultra sounds on the arteries in my neck, and a stress tests (which I was freaking out about, because I did not want to run). Everything was normal or within normal ranges.

Finally, a spirometry test was done, I was told by the testers that my lungs capacity for intake and exhale of air was great.

To make a long story short, my doctor came to conclusion that I am having panic attacks. So, for the last 2 months I have been taking Lorazepam. For the first couple a weeks I was taking 2mg a day. Since then I have reduced my dosage (I read a lot of material about addiction to Lorazepam); my last dosage was 0.25mg and that was 2 days ago (I have been tapering my dosage).

Hey uchiha I'm sure there are some members here who can tell you what they do to help cope with panic attacks. Physical activities e.g. exercise, is very beneficial but you are a runner so I won't suggest that. Sounds like you are on top of things as far as being aware of the drawbacks of anxiety meds. At the point it sounds like you're at it looks like it would be hard to discern between anxiety and the brain kind of wanting that bigger dose of ativan.
Just a layman's theory.
Just for a short term solution you might want to speak to your doc about a different med. Clonazepam is a longer acting anxiety med. And some people have good results using buspirone(?) which is supposed not addictive.
Good luck with this and welcome to the site

[gma45]

You are taking such a low dose I wouldn't worry to much. If it helps relieve your panic attacks which can be so disruptive and uncomfortable take the medicine and get these attacks under control then you can stop taking it. That is what I would do. Sometimes our worry makes matters worse. Take care my friend.

[uchiha]

Thanks for the reply gma45, I think my biggest problem is me worrying. It is because of me worrying about a potential addiction that I decided to reduce the dosage. I worry to much about everything and worrying and panic attacks don't go together.

Originally Posted by gma45

You are taking such a low dose I wouldn't worry to much. If it helps relieve your panic attacks which can be so disruptive and uncomfortable take the medicine and get these attacks under control then you can stop taking it. That is what I would do. Sometimes our worry makes matters worse. Take care my friend.

[pbutton]

You sound a lot like me a year ago, except I was too scared to even try to take one of my Lorazepam. (I was scared I'd be the one person to have a weird side effect, that I'd become addicted, etc etc.) So I had tons of panic attacks. I felt like my entire life was out of my control and that I'd never be able to go back to where I used to be.

After a year of therapy I know that I CAN control my reaction when I am having a panic attack. I know what it is, I know what to do. I am ready for them. Bring 'em on, I have a plan. I know how to stop feeding the anxiety. I know I am strong enough to deal with it. I can fight back.

Hang in there, I PROMISE you it can get better. It sucks and takes a lot of work & it is VERY hard to face fears. But it's totally possible.

[uchiha]

Thanks Pbutton for the encouraging words. I just keep telling myself with time I will get better.

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by uchiha

Thanks Pbutton for the encouraging words. I just keep telling myself with time I will get better.

You will. Keep working on it. I swear it gets better. It gets easier too.