A sort of a hum

So this isn't really an anxiety attack or anythng, but a sort of generalised humming of thoughts that won't shut up. Which is, I can tell you, really inconvenient in a hypnosis session. I also find myself snapping at people onthe road and having these crazy bursts of fury in which I shout, like for a second, and then calm down.

Any thoughts? What do I do? Is this suppressed emotion from panic about moving/separating from the boyfriend? 'elp!

Also at the same time I do find it easy to appreciate the things that are awesome. Like PC.

Stress and anxiety can cause a lot of strange things. Maybe you're transferring the anger from one situation to another? I dunno... just a thought. Remember to breathe and count 10 before reacting to anger causes

(((bean)))

You are a bit overwhelmed right now because you don't have a clear cut plan. As you say, you are making a "change" and ending a relationship. None of us like change, it brings a sense of insecurity and that we have to think more than ususal because we are stepping outside a routine pattern.

The anger outbursts you are discribing is something I experience myself. I find that it is often because I have some anger about my feelings of being "pushed" into something I do not like to experience. The humming you are discribing is due to your experiencing "change" and as I mentioned, you are no longer in a routine that you were familiar with. And you don't feel "safe' right now, no one feels "safe" when they are changing and embarking on a new direction.

Hey, a lot of people stay in an abusive or bad relationships because they don't know how to face the "stress of change". We tend to hang onto the familiar, even if it is not healthy.

You need to pat yourself on the back here because you are allowing yourself to make a change in your life. But just know that for a while it is going to feel uncomfortable, and that is only because you are stepping away from an old routine. And your real goal will be to learn to adapt to making changes and progress in your life and that you "can" adapt and grow and progress. You have every right to do that too.

It is ok to express the anger and frustration. But also make sure you talk to yourself and remind yourself that you are taking steps to improving "your" life and you are being brave and you are just going to go with it and allow yourself to learn and grow.

(((Hugs)))
Open Eyes

I don't really have any advice, but I can completely relate to that hum. The sometimes the hum expands and includes a hum in my body - it's just like a tension..but not really. Hard to explain, as if the thoughts manifested physically and became little beads and i can feel them rushing through my body. That's what usually leads to some tiny snaps. But I never voice mine out loud. I just internally snap and have a 10 second "AHH".

Thank you so much for replying and I'm sorry it took me so long to respond. I read what you'd written and felt a lot better that day, but got swamped by work and what not.

I think what you said makes a lot of sense. The "humming" sort of carried on through the week - my hypnotherapy session did not materialise into what it was meant to be and my connection with my T got messed up (I missed an appointment) because the humming sort of took over everything. But I was working, and that was the priority till yesterday. And the moment I finished, it sort of burst into the real anxieties.

It is, as you said, the change. We aren't ending the relationship, but we have definitely taken several huge steps back - gone back to living separately and being non-monogamous. Which is ... quite unsafe, I'd say, on an emotional level, for me.

Which, as an aside, is really sort of killing me - but even though he said he was okay with staying monogamous if it was so hurtful - only when I said I would walk out - I couldn't... do that, because the meaning of the word monogamous had been so ... stomped in the dirt. *breathes* As you can see I'm still alarmed and saddened and a little bitter.

So this kind of burst on me yesterday and I sat and cried for an hour or so. But it cleared the air. If it is convenient for my flatmate, I will move tomorrow.

I can hope this is a step towards healthy change. But... yes. I think I'll keep what you've said in mine.

((((Silent_tsol)))) That is very very much what it is like! Thank you for sharing. It helps to know it's not just me.