[Onward2wards]

I've noticed I have a tendency to open up to people veeeerrrryyyyy slowly ... and the minute I feel a closer connection with them, they get to hear my entire life story, ending with a breathless "soanywayhowboutchu!?" Their usual reaction:

I also tend to explain myself at least twice, and then apologize profusely for having been repetitive.

How do I stop doing this!?


<----- I really like this icon

[seeker1950]

Originally Posted by Onward2wards

I've noticed I have a tendency to open up to people veeeerrrryyyyy slowly ... and the minute I feel a closer connection with them, they get to hear my entire life story, ending with a breathless "soanywayhowboutchu!?" Their usual reaction:

I also tend to explain myself at least twice, and then apologize profusely for having been repetitive.

How do I stop doing this!?


<----- I really like this icon

Well...my goodness...I have done that a lot! I have gradually stopped doing it, but only after a lifetime of self-reflection! I totally agree with you that it is a form of social anxiety. I actually have a few friends who accept me and seem to love me, despite this. But in most social situations, I am insecure and feel very uncomfortable. I did observe that while I was in grad school in Art, that those fellow grad art students (much younger than me) seemed to love and accept me. This was surprising! I'm no longer around those students, but it helped me realize there are people who accept you for what you are! Perhaps the key is to find people who are like-minded. Nowadays, in my work as a teacher, I rarely interact personally, and just keep to myself.
Patty

[Miswimmy1]

I do that too, don't know whether it's bc of my anxiety or bc of my ADHD, but lol I can totally relate

[jelly-bean]

I LOVE that rock. I'd like to see more of your artwork if you have some!

Originally Posted by seeker1950

Well...my goodness...I have done that a lot! I have gradually stopped doing it, but only after a lifetime of self-reflection! I totally agree with you that it is a form of social anxiety. I actually have a few friends who accept me and seem to love me, despite this. But in most social situations, I am insecure and feel very uncomfortable. I did observe that while I was in grad school in Art, that those fellow grad art students (much younger than me) seemed to love and accept me. This was surprising! I'm no longer around those students, but it helped me realize there are people who accept you for what you are! Perhaps the key is to find people who are like-minded. Nowadays, in my work as a teacher, I rarely interact personally, and just keep to myself.
Patty

[waynec]

Originally Posted by Onward2wards

I've noticed I have a tendency to open up to people veeeerrrryyyyy slowly ... and the minute I feel a closer connection with them, they get to hear my entire life story, ending with a breathless "soanywayhowboutchu!?" Their usual reaction:

I also tend to explain myself at least twice, and then apologize profusely for having been repetitive.

How do I stop doing this!?


<----- I really like this icon

are you alone a lot? i work, when i have work lately, from home and i build models so i am alone a lot. i enjoy my solitude and rarely feel lonely but i will get quite chatty when i go out. i find this is common among folks like me.

[CloudyDay99]

I think Wayne has a good point. I'm alone a lot and sometimes find I can overwhelm people when I do talk to them. I think some of it is lack of practice in daily communication.

I was also a compulsive apologizer until very recently. What stopped that habit for me almost cold turkey was seeing a short video of the comedian Louis CK apologizing over and over again for about two minutes. When I saw it, I could see how annoying it was for other people to experience that. Now when I start to say "I'm sorry" or write "I'm sorry, I do a mental check if it is really needed and now 9/10 it isn't.

[newtus]

wow. im a compulsive apologizer too. and tend to play the life story upfront card a lot. i definitely am aware of my social skills...they are lacking severely. i seem to not be able to not apologize.

i am alone extremely often. everyday - for most of the day I am. i didnt think about that being the reason why for that.