[Gracey]

I am stressing so badly right now. My best friend is making the worst choices right now. . .and it is pulling her into this incredible depression. This guy she is with is . . .I don't know. . .there isn't even a word for him. He is from her past, but in her past he has abused her, even to the point of threatening to kill her and her child. I can't understand why she keeps doing this with him; she even says herself that he is so bad for her. And she knows that as long as she is taking up with him, then I can't have anything to do with her. My husband is concerned for my well being, as well as our children's b/c of this guy's influence and his attitudes. He believes he is a Vampire, and tells people he is Satan. Hello? Today, she told me she was making him leave. . .he kept telling her he had no place to go, and I kept reminding her, "That is HIS problem, not yours. If you want him out of your house, you make YOUR choices and let him make his." There is a shelter here he can stay at, easily. If he choses not to, well then, that is his choice. Her mother called me earlier very concerned b/c she wouldn't answer her phone, and so against my better judgement I went over there. She had taken DOUBLE the amount of her sleeping pills (Seroquel). I didn't know whether to just drive away or haul her to the hospital. She thinks people are walking out on her. . .when really its her turning her back on us. I hate being betrayed. . .being told that I mean something to someone, and then using me. That sucks.

But at the same time, as angry as I am right now. . . I feel like a part of my heart is dying. It's like something, this piece of me is being torn out alive. I can't do anything to help her. . .how do you help someone who won't help themselves EXCEPT by taking a step back and not enabling them anymore? It hurts so bad to hear her say to me, "You are leaving me" when I haven't gone anywhere. I just want my friend back. I waited 31 years to have a friend like this, more like a sister really, and now I feel like this evil cancer is just killing her right in front of me.

[Rhapsody]

This is one of those times that WE will NEVER understand her why's to the things she had done for him and continues to do for him, except to drop to our knees and PRAY!! - only God can reach that deep wounded spot from within her that is now controlling her other wise intelligent mind.

I will say a PRAYER tonight when I go to sleep..................... ((((((( PRAYERS )))))))


LoVe,
Rhapsody -