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Old Oct 09, 2012, 11:56 PM
rolan86 rolan86 is offline
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I have a weird ego issue where I have to give other people the impression that I don't need to talk to them. For instance, there is this girl on campus I know from last year who I REALLY want to talk to, but every time I see her approaching I quickly turn and walk the other way. It's a combination of multiple things. I am really shy and don't know what I would say to her. Even though I would be shy, I think it would be fine, because we already know each other. Every day I hope I will run into her, because I want to see her so badly. But every single time I get the opportunity, I always flee. Why do I always do this?? I just feel like oh no she's coming! Umm turn the other way, let her get the impression you didn't even notice her and have better things to do anyway. Let her see you as on your way to something much more important! I always end up just trying to advertise myself... Only problem is it never gets me anywhere. When will I just tell myself, no! Don't walk away this time. Continue walking, run into her, and say hi. This leads to another thing. Will it be a Hi with a slight smile that indicates I'm going to keep walking? I really don't want this. I want to give her a Hi! that says let's stop and talk

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  #2  
Old Oct 10, 2012, 07:11 PM
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Miswimmy1 Miswimmy1 is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: USA
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It sounds like social anxiety. Do u have a t? I think that might be a good place to start. Or if they have a counselor at your school... That would be an idea too.
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  #3  
Old Oct 10, 2012, 07:31 PM
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tigerlily84 tigerlily84 is offline
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Hi Rolan. I was the same way in high school. I never knew anyone else that did this! These days, I will meet the other person's eyes, and I will really try to say hello if I feel up to it. The important thing is to do what you feel comfortable with at that moment. It can be really difficult when someone catches you when you least expect it. I think if I had gone to see a T even back in hs, I would be in a better state of mind about this. All I can say is that it takes time. Good luck!
  #4  
Old Oct 11, 2012, 12:42 PM
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shortandcute shortandcute is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rolan86 View Post
I have a weird ego issue where I have to give other people the impression that I don't need to talk to them. For instance, there is this girl on campus I know from last year who I REALLY want to talk to, but every time I see her approaching I quickly turn and walk the other way. It's a combination of multiple things. I am really shy and don't know what I would say to her. Even though I would be shy, I think it would be fine, because we already know each other. Every day I hope I will run into her, because I want to see her so badly. But every single time I get the opportunity, I always flee. Why do I always do this?? I just feel like oh no she's coming! Umm turn the other way, let her get the impression you didn't even notice her and have better things to do anyway. Let her see you as on your way to something much more important! I always end up just trying to advertise myself... Only problem is it never gets me anywhere. When will I just tell myself, no! Don't walk away this time. Continue walking, run into her, and say hi. This leads to another thing. Will it be a Hi with a slight smile that indicates I'm going to keep walking? I really don't want this. I want to give her a Hi! that says let's stop and talk
I kind of go through the same thing-or at least something similar; I have generalized anxiety disorder, and social phobia. You might want to talk to a counselor and see what can be done to help you.
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