[Sisyphe]

Ever since I began dating around age 16, I've always gotten overly attached to my partner and felt a lot of anxiety if plans were cancelled or cut short. Basically, any unexpected absence or time away from my partner caused a lot of distress. When I moved in with my boyfriend (now ex), this separation anxiety got much worse. I got so used to seeing him everyday and basically relied on him as my only source of comfort/happiness/self-worth. When he would be late getting home from work, when he had to go somewhere out of the ordinary and the few times he went away on business trips, I just couldn't handle it. I would constantly worry about if something happened to him and I would just feel this inner restlessness and despair.

Fast forward to now. I have a wonderful boyfriend (who also has his fair share of psychological challenges) and we are talking about moving in together. I already feel like I rely on him way too much and the only time I really feel safe and at peace is when I'm with him. I'm scared that when we move in together, my separation anxiety will start poisoning the relationship and my neediness will drive him away (which is partly what happened with my ex).

I know separation anxiety is primarily a childhood issue. As a child I wasn't this way at all though. I was very independent and I have never been emotionally close with my parents but it never bothered me. I developed this in my teens and early adulthood (I'm 25 now).

Anybody have similar issues or advice? I've had mini panic attacks a couple times before and I've taken my b/f valium and it really helped. But my doctor won't prescribe me a benzo. I'm not sure it warrants it either, but now I really anticipate those times when I'll have to be alone and I'm scared of having all this anxiety/restlessness/mini panic attack thing and not having any way to get out of it. I suppose I could take my trazadone and it'll just make me sleepy... Has anyone taken trazadone for anxiety?

Cheers.

[Miswimmy1]

I have terrible separation anxiety. I take Ativan. It also makes u sleepy, so what I do is I cut it in half. Is it possible to do that with your med? So that it will take the edge off but won't knock u out?

[BLUEDOVE]

Hi Sis,
I suggest you look into the problem
of "Co-dependency", I think it may give
you some insights.
Kind Regards,
BLUEDOVE