[Runner25]

A little less than a year ago I came back into contact with a previous boyfriend from six years ago, our breakup didn't end very well and I hadn't heard from him since. We ended up reconnecting and started dating again, it only took a short time to realize how strong our feelings were and how well we connected. Things have been going great, we were very happy, and spent all the time we could with each other (I work three jobs, he works one but has many hobbies etc.) our relationship was healthy, things were going very well and we had even discussed our future many times- talked about getting a house together and getting married and going on vacation together in just a few months. We weren't arguing, disagreeing, not communicating or anything negatively.

This week out of nowhere he came to me asking to talk saying his self confidence has been extremely diminished,he's been having bad days at work, everyone at work could tell he was upset, he was crying, and told me he felt down and extremely jealous lately, that he was constantly thinking of me, having a hard time trusting me, constantly wondering where I am what was I doing checking all social media to see when was the last time I checked in what I said etc. this came as a huge shock because there was no trust issues, signs of jealousy, or reason for it in this relationship. He said he felt a lot like our previous relationship when he was very immature, very needy, extremely demanding and controlling and jealous. He put things in terms of "but if you cared bout our relationship this much you would do this.." And I expressed to him that this isn't normal that I haven't done anything but my daily work routine or anything to provoke jealous feelings. He said he knew but he was obsessing over me and couldn't sleep, or eat because he couldn't stop thinking of me. When we ended the conversation it was thank you for your support, I love you, you're my best friend and we went to get something to eat together and were normal. The next day we had another conversation and he said we needed to have a three or four hour talk, I was again caught off guard, he started crying and said he hadn't eaten all day he hasn't slept at all he's obsessing every thought has been about me and if I lived him I would change things that made him jealous etc, he even mentioned he had thought about dying but didn't go into detail and just sat on the floor and shook. We argued a bit and in the end of that conversation he again said I love you, you're too good for me I don't deserve you you're so much better than me. We didn't talk that night I asked for space, and majority of the next day. The next day he came to me again saying I haven't ate anything or slept in two days I can't stop crying or shaking and if you want this relationship you have to fit for it. All the same topics were discussed, by the end I asked him if he felt comfortable or if he'd get more sleep staying at my place he said no but he loved me and its such a great catch and it would be so easy for me to find someone better because I'm very involved in many activities to replace him and my dad would want a white collar worker for his daughter (he's a blue collar worker I guess you could say.) I asked him where he got that from (knowing full well my father would never say a thing of that nature.) he said he could just tell and that he loved me. The next morning he contacted me saying I can't be with you anymore it's done. I was completely shocked asked him where he was if he was ok (this is not his behavior at all.) he said I am the only thing that makes him feel this way and it is my fault he is having anxiety lately and not eating and I am toxic for him so his only solution is to never see me again. I told him to stay where he is and I left work and went to him, he didn't go to work, he hadn't slept or ate in three days, he was crying and shaking. When I got there all he did was apologize and tell me I couldn't leave him that he didn't mean it and he just can't think of any solution and he loved me more than life. I stayed with him until I had to go to my other job and I told him I would only be gone for two hours and I would be back and he was calm laying down stopped shaking and crying finally and he said ok he was going to try and get sleep. Two hours later I called to tell him I was on my way and he told me his friends who weren't to fond of me just showed up and it was probably better if I checked in after. I said ok, twenty minutes later I was contacted and told everything was done and if I attempted contact ever again there would be a restraining order in place.

I a, concerned I do not know what to do, it has been two days since this happened, I think he obviously needs help and there is a problem and his other support thinks I have caused this and the solutions to remove me. I know that he isn't in Orval behavior and he would never want me out of his life. He was many things of value at my place and family members houses, he has a key to my house, he also owns weapons. I haven't attempted contact and do or feel I should. I need advice because I truly do to know what to do. I was very upset two days ago but yesterday I told myself I had to carry on and I'm not worried too much because deep down I feel like everything will be ok, and I cannot put my life on pause, so I continue. What do I do and what happened?

[kindachaotic]

Maybe if you boxed his stuff up & asked someone in law enforcement to take it back to him that would give you both some closure.

He doesn't seem stable enough for a committed relationship.
Also not in your favor that his support system wants you out of his life.
Sounds like he would need long term therapy to handle a relationship.
You deserve someone you can cherish & those feeling are reciprocated.

Best wishes.

[kindachaotic]

Oh Wow! Just noticed you're new to PC. Welcome!
Lots of info & lots of post to look around & read.
Take care & post away.

[Ultra Darkness]

Geeze! That is definitely what I'd call a psychotic break! What bothers me about all this is the not eating-or-sleeping thing. Is that going to continue with you gone? What will you do if he comes back to you?
Now I'm feeling anxious. I don't even know him and I'm worried.

[MPD-AvPD-BPD]

Sorry to disagree with the others here, but all i see in what you posted, is an excuse to break up with you, and to make it your fault...

My best guess is your the 'Other woman' and either he got busted, or he found someone 'Better' ....

You dont need a man like that in your life... Once bitten twice shy... The BEST ADVICE i ever got, is never reconnect with an EX that ended badly... It will only happen again...

He may just have issues, but please dont ever think it's because of you, or that you have to fix him... I hate it when my wife thinks my issues need to be 'Fixed'..

It's time for you to move on, and find yourself a better man.... (and for me to go play with my issues )