I continue to observe that most people:

• Choose noisy places to have their verbal conversations, such as the streets & buses
• Don't know a conversational amount of American Sign Language and/or refuse to let me touch their hands to receive tactile sign
• Enjoy long discussions about these four topics: their children (who may already exist or have yet to exist), their employers, God (or another deity in whom they believe), and their vehicles
• Have obnoxious children whose noise I must block out with my white noise MP3 to maintain my composure
• Wear their rosaries or other religious symbols in public and/or refuse to keep their beliefs to themselves when talking to agnostics/atheists/other freethinkers

On the streets & buses I hear other people constantly "huh-ing" each other and know they don't listen attentively. Online everyone I find is either not local to my area or being inconsistent/untruthful about his/her location.

In my city, most people speak all Spanish all the time, and they talk way too fast for me to try to understand anything they say. I need people to slow down for me even in English, but especially in Spanish. I've only found ONE person who will slow down for me in Spanish: the mother of my longtime acquaintance who will soon be moving near one of the Libraries I frequent. I'm scared to offer to speak Spanish with other people cuz I've already gotten myself into a little trouble with my former roommate's housekeeper. This playback has been translated:

Her: You don't understand nothing, or what don't you understand?
Me: I'm sorry. I have difficulties understanding spoken Spanish. Please speak slower so that I can try to understand you.
[end all playbacks]

Another thing: often when I try to be sociable the first thing everyone asks is where I work. In recent weeks, I have sought assistance from the California Department of Rehabilitation (DoR) with finding a job so that eventually I'll be able to truthfully tell people I work somewhere, but no one, not even me myself, can guarantee that I'll have a job any month soon.

Before I even get the chance to ask them where they work just to show interest, they're already asking the next question: do I go to school. That truthful answer is also no. All I do with my life right now is walk the beach and go online a few times a week. When I do those two things, I have my white noise MP3 playing constantly, at a soft volume unless I suspect a kid is about to make some noise I find irritating or already has, in which case I turn it up loud to block out the irritating noise.

The white noise MP3 certainly helps me maintain my composure when I'm in the earshot of obnoxious children. It also blocks verbal communication, which makes me wish more people knew sign language and were comfortable with me touching their hands to receive tactile sign. But that appears to be an unreasonable expectation. So, I don't know where I'm supposed to go where it's quiet enough for me and a non-signer to hear each other. Nor do I know what I should tell him/her so that I finally form a friendship for once.

All the agnostic/atheist/freethought groups in my area are predominantly elderly people. Not-more-than-friends must not be more than 15 years older than me, and a girlfriend must not be more than 4 years older than me. I'd much rather skip friends and go straight to pursuit of a girlfriend cuz I've had cravings for intimacy for 4 years now. But I'm afraid some women may believe those dating advice sites that steer them away from men who lack any not-more-than-friends. I can only date a woman who NEVER wants kids of her own cuz I refuse to be held responsible for any children.

[Travelinglady]

I know the white noise helps keep you calm, but I suspect it interferes with being able to communicate with people.

You must be around an unusual group of people because the folks I know rarely ever talk about the topics you mentioned--or even where much religious jewelry!

I certainly couldn't speak Spanish with anyone, no matter how slow they spoke.

When people ask you about work or school, they are just assuming you are doing one and/or the other. You can say that right now you are unemployed (common in this economy) and you aren't in school. You can tell them you are exploring your options.

You will need to learn to make small talk to succeed in relationships.

Are you in therapy for your social anxiety? I see you are listing the reasons why you are held back. Now you need to look for ways to get ahead!

Yes, I'm in therapy. At first I joined this message board cuz I could not find any therapist who would not charge me an amount I cannot pay. I really lucked out finding a therapist who bills me on a sliding scale, knows a conversational amount of American Sign Language & IS comfortable with me touching his hands to receive tactile sign.

As for smalltalk, I can do that. I just need a quiet environment where there are no obnoxious children and the person with whom I am verbalizing must listen attentively & catch what I say the first time.