[missminnie]

My whole life my family, friends and boyfriends have let me down and left me. Now i am in a relationship with the most wonderful person in my whole world. We have been together for almost a year and a half. I know he would never leave me, and i know he loves me unconditionally, but even when we get into the smallest of arguments or bumps, i panic. i don't understand why i do because i know he loves me and that he wouldn't ever leave me. He's proven to me and constantly reminds me that we will grow old together and that he will never go away. I think it might be because my previous boyfriend (a complete *** and ignored me but i still stayed, stupid me), he and I went through a rough patch and he wouldn't let me in to try and fix it, he just ignored me then broke up with me over the internet (jerk.) So many friends have done things similar to me also, so i suppose i just sub-consciously assume that in time he will as well.

What do you guys think? Why do you think this happens? I need to learn to stop freaking out and having a mini panic attack every time we even slightly don't get along. Do you guys know anything that may help?

Thanks,
missminnie

[lostinbooks]

Thanks for sharing. This sounds difficult. It sounds like you have talked it over with your guy and he is supportive of you. Keep talking to him about it. And maybe find a therapist to work with to help you let go of the past.

[Leed]

Hi dear Missminnie ~ I agree with Lostinbooks ~ I think you need to talk with your partner, and just explain that perhaps your fears are unfounded, you cannot help it and ask him to please be patient with you.

And like "Lost" said, it may be a good idea to get into therapy. After awhile, this fear may grow tiresome for your partner and you don't want to drive him away. Ask your doctor to refer you to a good therapist who can help you to deal with this, and perhaps even stop these fears.

I wish you the very best. Please - let us know how you're doing from time to time, okay? We really DO care about you. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[missminnie]

Thank you Lostinbooks and Leed, i have talked to my boyfriend about it several times, he is very patient with it, but it does tire us both out. i can't help feeling that way and sometimes he feels that i don't trust him in believing him that he won't leave, but it isn't like that. i do understand he loves me and that he'll always stay, but i can't help getting scared, its like a reflex, but i've been working on it and am trying to control my fears.

Thank you for caring so much, it means a lot,

Not saying you are...you'd need to do the research yourself and possibly talk to a therapist, but fear of abandonment is a major trait of Borderline Personality Disorder, and so is anxiety. http://forums.psychcentral.com/borde...scription.html if you'd like to read up on it and I'd be happy to help with any questions you might have. Not an expert, but I am living with it, for whatever that's worth.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

I haven't really thought on me having this sort of anxiety, but given my past, the times I've been or felt let down, in addition to relating with your initial post, I'd say it's likely I have similar issues. :|

I do have a tendency of assuming someone will do something, or leave me/give up on me, but I just figured it was my OCD.

My mother kicked me out at 12 years old; I guess ever since then, I expect it.