[Ganymede00]

So, I’m pretty much terrified of being in social interactions. This is why, among other things, I’ve been avoiding getting a job for the last couple of years. I dropped out of college last year (I’m 21) because I just couldn’t handle any of it and have pretty much been a recluse for the past year, leaving my house only when needed. My year off has given me a lot of time to think about what I want out of life and I’ve been contemplating making some changes (going to therapy, finding out what career/job to get). First step is to start looking for a job. This, ideally, should be a fairly simple thing to do but my social anxiety is making everything more complicated than it should be. I’ve never really had a job; the only “jobs” I’ve had were seasonal and far in between (babysitting, pet sitting, working as a server at residential homes). The only jobs I qualify for are customer service jobs/retail but the problem is I have social anxiety and virtually no confidence to be out in public. The only thing that motivates me is getting enough money to pay for therapy. Ideally, I would like to find a therapist to help me work on my social anxiety and depression before I start going out into “the real world” but because of lack of money, that is not possible.

I don’t have much of an emotional support system. Only my 2 sisters know I have SAD/depression but they don’t really place much importance on it because I feel I have to downplay any of my symptoms to not overwhelm them (they weren’t very supportive to begin with, even after I went to the E.R. when I was feeling very suicidal). My mom thinks I’m lazy and cowardly (she doesn’t know what happened to me during college) and she has told me this to my face countless of times. My next option would be friends and acquaintances but I don’t have any. At all.

Everything involved with getting a job scares me and makes me anxious/gives me panic attacks. I’m afraid of being around people. I don’t have good social skills. I don’t know how to nail job interviews. How am I supposed to act confident in interviews when 1.) I’m so worried what other people think about me and 2.) I kinda hate everything about myself (not to mention my lack of work experience)? I just feel so embarrassed and stupid that at my age, I don’t have any job experience and this seriously makes me feel worse about everything.
I’ve been thinking about just applying to a few customer service jobs (require the least amount of experience) and just going through it by dissociating myself (it’s how I was able to get through anything before). But I honestly think I’ve lost the ability to do that anymore.

I do feel like I’m tackling too many “issues” at once but getting a job honestly brings out the worse of all my problems. I don’t know. I really want to make some changes but I’ve been feeling pretty low lately about my job hunting prospects (and the fact that jobs everywhere are so scarce just adds to my anxiety). All I keep thinking is how I have no degree, no job experience, virtually no skills, and how I’m basically going nowhere in life. I just don’t know how to approach this situation and my self-loathing/anxiety has been at an all time high lately.

So, so sorry about the length. I just don’t know where else to vent. If anybody has some insight on how to deal with social anxiety and getting a job, I would very much appreciate it.

[Christina86]

Can you contact any sort of community centre or temp agency and talk to them? See if you can find an organization that helps 20-somethings with job searches?

You could also look into online job opportunities, which would hopefully mean less social anxiety for you.

Can you talk to a doctor to look into medication to deal with your anxiety, maybe?

[with or without you]

I have social anxiety as well. About 5 years ago I finished college and was starting to go on interviews. My psychiatrist at the time gave me some propranolol, which is a beta blocker. I was able to chill out just enough so that I wouldn't have the shaky hands, sweating, etc.

[pngindreamr]

If its that severe then you should probably get medication to put you at ease. I can understand being anxious with job interviews and having social skills. You may need to look into online work until it improves. There are many self help books/articles that can provide insight, also mantras help me when I get a contionous negative thought. Think of a word/sentence that is positive for example "peace" and repeat it over and over sometimes have to see the letters and spell it out for it to actually clear your mind. It should help a little. Also if you do end up getting a face to face job interview, the more you practice the interview should improve your anxiety some, also suggest applying for jobs that involve more alone work than with people. Hope you find help and relief and are able to land yourself a job. Good luck!

[Cyran0]

Ganymede00, welcome to Psych Central. I'm really glad you found us.

I don't have social anxiety so I'm not much help on that front but I do have intense general anxiety, panic attacks, and depression so I can relate to the results of your trigger.

I would recommend trying to find a doctor and/or therapist that will see you on a sliding fee scale. They are out there but it may take a little online searching to find one near you. If you can just get a little help I'm sure you can nail this job thing.

I'm so sorry things have been so hard for so long. Please feel free to vent at whatever length you want. And please let us know how things are going.

Cyran0

[Ganymede00]

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I’m definitely considering finding a temp agency so I can “get my feet wet”, so to speak, before I commit to any job. I guess I’ve just been letting my anxiety block any sense of logic. I really need to work on relaxing a bit (which meds may help with).

And I definitely want to find a therapist that I can afford. I guess I’m just a bit scared of finding a therapist and then not being able to afford it, no matter how cheap they are. Kinda silly, really.

[Cyran0]

Originally Posted by Ganymede00

I guess I’ve just been letting my anxiety block any sense of logic...I guess I’m just a bit scared of finding a therapist and then not being able to afford it, no matter how cheap they are. Kinda silly, really.

Yup, that's what anxiety and depression does, it colors our judgement. Insidious really because we can't always tell our judgement is being compromised. I've had to learn to check myself with regards to big decisions to make sure I'm reacting to the real world and not just my off target emotions.

I hope you're doing ok today!

Cyran0

[MrsBro13]

Welcome to Psych Central, Ganymede00! You will find lots and lots of great people here and tons more support. A few people have already mentioned some things that I was going to say.

First off I think coming to a place like this and using it as a support system will help on the front where family isn't being so supportive.

Secondly, definitely work on a therapist.

Lastly, never forget that there are a lot of online options for jobs/careers.

Again, I'm glad you're here with us. I am fairly new but just within the last week the people here have changed my outlook so much.

[Perna]

It sounds like I was where you are when I was 20, only I stayed in college and graduated (but had to change majors my senior year because I was afraid of the requirements of one course in my previous major) but had to move home with my parents after I graduated and didn't get a job for six months or more (couldn't figure out how) and finally walked into a large store chain and got a job there as a clerk. My next job was one a friend of my parents got me, all I had to do was take a fairly simple-for-me standardized test, the job was waiting for me (illegally, it was with the Government) as long as I passed the test.

I'm 60 now and if I could go back in time I think I would work hard to get more experience with everything. A lot of my anxiety was because I had no experience and was afraid of being afraid so didn't try anything at all so couldn't learn anything/get experience! It was a horrible closed loop and which I would break out of if I could go back. If something interests you, don't squelch it right away, just move one step closer to it. Can you go back to college, maybe finish your degree online (I got my second degree, in that first subject I abandoned from fear 40 years ago, in 2007, online: http://www.umuc.edu/index.shtml)

Interacting and working online over the last 20 years has helped me and my confidence enormously so I try thing in "real" life more often. I also had good therapy for many years that helped too.

No matter what, you have to start taking some risks, trying something? Trust me, you can only go "inside" so far before you run out of space. Better to try increasing the space around you slowly as soon as you can. You don't have to fight to do that, you just have to experience/get comfortable with "outside" as much as you are with inside.

Originally Posted by Ganymede00

So, I’m pretty much terrified of being in social interactions. This is why, among other things, I’ve been avoiding getting a job for the last couple of years. I dropped out of college last year (I’m 21) because I just couldn’t handle any of it and have pretty much been a recluse for the past year, leaving my house only when needed. My year off has given me a lot of time to think about what I want out of life and I’ve been contemplating making some changes (going to therapy, finding out what career/job to get). First step is to start looking for a job. This, ideally, should be a fairly simple thing to do but my social anxiety is making everything more complicated than it should be. I’ve never really had a job; the only “jobs” I’ve had were seasonal and far in between (babysitting, pet sitting, working as a server at residential homes). The only jobs I qualify for are customer service jobs/retail but the problem is I have social anxiety and virtually no confidence to be out in public. The only thing that motivates me is getting enough money to pay for therapy. Ideally, I would like to find a therapist to help me work on my social anxiety and depression before I start going out into “the real world” but because of lack of money, that is not possible.

I don’t have much of an emotional support system. Only my 2 sisters know I have SAD/depression but they don’t really place much importance on it because I feel I have to downplay any of my symptoms to not overwhelm them (they weren’t very supportive to begin with, even after I went to the E.R. when I was feeling very suicidal). My mom thinks I’m lazy and cowardly (she doesn’t know what happened to me during college) and she has told me this to my face countless of times. My next option would be friends and acquaintances but I don’t have any. At all.

Everything involved with getting a job scares me and makes me anxious/gives me panic attacks. I’m afraid of being around people. I don’t have good social skills. I don’t know how to nail job interviews. How am I supposed to act confident in interviews when 1.) I’m so worried what other people think about me and 2.) I kinda hate everything about myself (not to mention my lack of work experience)? I just feel so embarrassed and stupid that at my age, I don’t have any job experience and this seriously makes me feel worse about everything.
I’ve been thinking about just applying to a few customer service jobs (require the least amount of experience) and just going through it by dissociating myself (it’s how I was able to get through anything before). But I honestly think I’ve lost the ability to do that anymore.

I do feel like I’m tackling too many “issues” at once but getting a job honestly brings out the worse of all my problems. I don’t know. I really want to make some changes but I’ve been feeling pretty low lately about my job hunting prospects (and the fact that jobs everywhere are so scarce just adds to my anxiety). All I keep thinking is how I have no degree, no job experience, virtually no skills, and how I’m basically going nowhere in life. I just don’t know how to approach this situation and my self-loathing/anxiety has been at an all time high lately.

So, so sorry about the length. I just don’t know where else to vent. If anybody has some insight on how to deal with social anxiety and getting a job, I would very much appreciate it.

Have you thought about finishing your degree online - there are many schools where you can do all your classes from home. Maybe if you start with online interactions such as IM/chat, you can work your way up to phone interaction.

And there are also starting to be as MsBro13 said, more an more work from home opportunities.

Definitely talk to someone about the social anxiety, it's not good to just lock yourself at home all the time, but once you have some confidence about yourself you may feel better and have less anxiety about getting out into the world.

[lostmyfuture]

This can be a great year for you. Start by reading Learned Optimism by Seligman and Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life, a workbook. Then try volunteering. It's good practice and you aren't likely to get rejected from a soup kitchen. Actually a lot of people will appreciate your listening skills and like talking to you about themselves. But do stop telling yourself negative things and don't look to others for too much support. Instead try giving them some support. It can make you feel stronger.

[Tim Holmes]

The same was happening with me..

Job interviews can be so terrifying and nerve wracking at the best of times.
When you drop off a CV or have an interview try not to think of everything at once, otherwise it will overwhelm you and cause anxiety. Think of one thing at a time and do each thing in stages, like leaving the house, opening a door, handing in a cv, etc. This is just to give you an idea.

[LivingDead]

Have you thought about applying for Social Security Disability? Because of your age, you might not have worked long enough to qualify, but it's worth a shot.

I have lost EVERY job I've had. My disorder has ruined my professional life time and time again. When I was 31, I decided to apply for SSDI. I had to be evaluated and what not, but I got it.

It's nearly impossible to live on a low fixed income, but I am so thankful to not worry myself sick anymore about going to work, or finding a job, etc.

Best of Luck!

[bswithens]

Originally Posted by Ganymede00

So, I’m pretty much terrified of being in social interactions. This is why, among other things, I’ve been avoiding getting a job for the last couple of years. I dropped out of college last year (I’m 21) because I just couldn’t handle any of it and have pretty much been a recluse for the past year, leaving my house only when needed. My year off has given me a lot of time to think about what I want out of life and I’ve been contemplating making some changes (going to therapy, finding out what career/job to get). First step is to start looking for a job. This, ideally, should be a fairly simple thing to do but my social anxiety is making everything more complicated than it should be. I’ve never really had a job; the only “jobs” I’ve had were seasonal and far in between (babysitting, pet sitting, working as a server at residential homes). The only jobs I qualify for are customer service jobs/retail but the problem is I have social anxiety and virtually no confidence to be out in public. The only thing that motivates me is getting enough money to pay for therapy. Ideally, I would like to find a therapist to help me work on my social anxiety and depression before I start going out into “the real world” but because of lack of money, that is not possible.

I don’t have much of an emotional support system. Only my 2 sisters know I have SAD/depression but they don’t really place much importance on it because I feel I have to downplay any of my symptoms to not overwhelm them (they weren’t very supportive to begin with, even after I went to the E.R. when I was feeling very suicidal). My mom thinks I’m lazy and cowardly (she doesn’t know what happened to me during college) and she has told me this to my face countless of times. My next option would be friends and acquaintances but I don’t have any. At all.

Everything involved with getting a job scares me and makes me anxious/gives me panic attacks. I’m afraid of being around people. I don’t have good social skills. I don’t know how to nail job interviews. How am I supposed to act confident in interviews when 1.) I’m so worried what other people think about me and 2.) I kinda hate everything about myself (not to mention my lack of work experience)? I just feel so embarrassed and stupid that at my age, I don’t have any job experience and this seriously makes me feel worse about everything.
I’ve been thinking about just applying to a few customer service jobs (require the least amount of experience) and just going through it by dissociating myself (it’s how I was able to get through anything before). But I honestly think I’ve lost the ability to do that anymore.

I do feel like I’m tackling too many “issues” at once but getting a job honestly brings out the worse of all my problems. I don’t know. I really want to make some changes but I’ve been feeling pretty low lately about my job hunting prospects (and the fact that jobs everywhere are so scarce just adds to my anxiety). All I keep thinking is how I have no degree, no job experience, virtually no skills, and how I’m basically going nowhere in life. I just don’t know how to approach this situation and my self-loathing/anxiety has been at an all time high lately.

So, so sorry about the length. I just don’t know where else to vent. If anybody has some insight on how to deal with social anxiety and getting a job, I would very much appreciate it.

Hi, I had the same problem a few years ago, Heaps of stuff was happening in my life at the time and one of those things was that I lost my job. The onle thing was is that I was terrified of getting another job because I thought that everyone, especially the people I would be working under was really angry for some reason and I was fearful of working with angry people. Took me almost 2 years and nearly losing my marriage to get the courage to get back into work. Best thing I did was to start by freelancing for about 18 months. Ended up working for a large advertising agency. And you know what, there weren't any angry people throughout those 18 months!

So my advice is to just start taking baby steps, but take steps and stop just thinking aboy it.

Good luck!