[SideCrow]

Hi...is my first post.
I am having a terrible time. I know that I am not getting what I need and need to go away from him. I get snippets of attention, no compliments, he basically fits me in when he can and even then I feel like I am an afterthought. Lately I have been sensing that he is losing interest and only using me to help him with his business.
I want to ask for the key to my apt back, but I am afraid. I am terribly lonely, so even those snippets of attention feel like a lifeline. But I have no privacy. I never know when he is going to walk in. We went thru a period where I asked him to leave me alone, and he did, for a while, but then used a credit card to gain entry to my apt. Call the police? He IS the police. He walks in on me in the bathroom, insists on access to my computer, says if i am doing what i am supposed to be doing, i should have nothing to worry about.
I can't stand the tension OR the thought of lonliness.
Help?

[excelsior]

I don't have any advice to give, but it sounds like you are very trapped by this relationship and I hope that you find peace soon. Oh, I do have one piece of advice: never stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy for the sole reason you are worried you will end up alone.

[Redsoft]

I agree with excelsior- never stay in a relationship just because you don't want to be alone. It definitely sounds like your privacy is not a big deal to this guy (which is a pretty good indicator of how much he respects you)... If you really are worried about privacy, you could ask for your key back in public, and tell your apartment complex you want your lock changed for personal reasons AND because you want one that can't be broken with a credit card!! That's sketchy on multiple levels. If you're worried about a bad reaction from him, you could stay with a friend until your lock is changed, if he refuses to give back your key for some awful reason.

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

go talk to his chief in person and tell him about the credit card and all of your concerns. if he's not helpful and you really think you need help doing this, there are woman's shelters that will hide you and help you figure out what to do.