[BelieveInMe]

Alright, please forgive me if this story is all over the map. I can't seem to keep my thoughts straight or in any kind of logical order.

I was diagnosed with Major Depression 296.33 (I've never actually looked it up to see what it means) anyway - oh there I go, already, off in a tangent. The diagnosis came in March 2012. Not long after, I was diagnosed with anxiety.

Long story short, I am on Citalopram 40mg 1 x daily; Effexor 150mg 1 x daily; Risperidone 1mg x 2x daily; and Clonazepam 1mg 1x daily and as needed for anxiety. I also suffer from sever allergies so I take 20mg of Reactine a day, 50mg Benedryl at bedtime and as needed throughout the day and Avamys, a nasal steroid 2x daily.

I find I am very tired - not much wonder - the "cocktail" above is enough to put a sane person in a coma. Thankfully I am not sane.

Oh yeah, the purpose of my story.

I woke up this morning, got out of bed, did the usual bathroom routine. I went downstairs to get some breakfast, noticed the dishes weren't done form last evening, started to fill the sink with water, noticed the dishcloth was kind of stinky so I threw it in the laundry room, noticed a ton of laundry needing to be done, so I started to sort it and began to load the washing machine when I hear water running; I left the sink in the kitchen going and now I had water to clean up. Thankfully there were some towels in the laundry room so I grabbed them to wipe up the water. That;s when I noticed the floor needed to be vacuumed. I went upstairs to get the vacuum and returned to vacuum. I went over to plug it in and noticed a phone charger, realized I didn't have my cell phone with me so I went back upstairs to get it.

I got upstairs, forgot why I was there, so I wandered around, hoping for something to job my memory. My belly growled: I forgot to eat breakfast. So I went back downstairs, turned on the radio, remembered that I forgot my phone. It wasn't on my bedside table so I started looking around; under my bed (where I found some dirty laundry - that I ended up throwing in a basket to take downstairs), I looked in the bathroom, noticed my medicine bottles turned upside down (that's how I remember whether or not I took them - I take the morning ones and flip the night ones and do vice versa at night), took my medicine, heard my phone ring; it was in the closet where I had gotten dressed. Grabbed the phone; noticed the number was unlisted so I figured "bill collector" so I let it go to voice mail. Turns out it was my mother in law inviting us for dinner - which would have been fine hadn't I made chicken soup last night.

I went back downstairs to get something to eat (now 1.5 hours after I attempted to eat), noticed the sink still had dirty dishes in it and I just couldn't make anything with them looking at me. Then I had the feeling I was being watched. I looked around but didn't see anyone but something was eating at me - or rather I was starving and needed to eat.

I settled for a croissant which I figured would hold me until I had the kitchen clean enough to cook something proper. I did the horrible thing and looked into the laundry room and noticed the washer door still open so I had to finish loading that load. Finally I had something in my belly, a load of laundry washing, and a sink full of soapy water and a lot of dishes to be done.

Before I knew it, it was lunch time. My son was the first to appear today; at 12:30 and wondered what I was making him to eat. I told him he was welcome to chicken soup. He said, "Blech." Which in turn made me take deep breath and he asked why I always take deep breaths around him (as hes slurping down the soup he just seconds ago turned his nose up at). I just get so frustrated and I didn't answer him. He got mad and left the soup bowl on the counter and went upstairs. By this time (and now as I write it) my heart feels like it is going to come through my chest.

This is what the doctor calls anxiety....this is what i call inability to stay focused.

Anyone got any ideas?

[Leed]

Sweetie, you just described what I do everyday. LOL I had to laugh when I read this, and I'm NOT making fun of you.

I also have major depressive disorder (clinical depression) and I was diagnosed years ago. I'm NOT on as many meds as you are. I'm a chronic pain patient, so I'm on OpanaER 40mg twice a day, Lyrica 75mg twice a day, Topamax 200mg twice a day, and Prozac 20mg a day, plus Zocor (can't remember the dose) for cholesterol.

For ME I don't think it's ADD -- I think I'm just flaky. LOL And it MIGHT be from the OpanaER, but I don't think so. I've always been like this to some extent so maybe it IS ADD, I don't know. My head always has racing thoughts in it, but nothing makes alot of sense, so I don't pay much attention to it. I just get sidetracked. LOL

You could talk to your therapist about it -- perhaps figure it out. I always did well in school, tho -- so I don't know.

Take care my friend. I hope you don't have ADD -- you don't need any more medications. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[BelieveInMe]

After therapy, I am exhausted...my therapist has stopped taking patients right after me because my life is such a big mosh pit of stuff.

[Miswimmy1]

I am not sure, but depression and anxiety can cause issues focusing... its important to differentiate what is a result of anxiety/depression and what isn't.

[BelieveInMe]

I seem to be getting worse instead of better. I just wish things could be normal.

[Nessa213]

This has definitely happened to me... and frequently! For me personally I think it's linked to my bp as I've never gotten an ADD diagnosis. But that's just my best guess for me personally.

The wandering around forgetting what you were going to get is something I do literally all the time. I write myself a lot of notes or I'll repeat something in my head over and over until I've gotten what I needed. It really wasn't a big deal until I started losing the plot midway through a conversation. Then it just got plain embarrassing.

Believe it or not... I played memory games for a while and it helped out immensely at the time.

[1Buster]

Might be ADHD too, or might just be the mood stuff. If it's going to be diagnosed as ADHD, you'll have to have had it as a kid too. So think back to see if you had the kid symptoms of ADHD back in the day - look them up again and note that girls and boys exhibit different symptoms. Psychologist or LCSW will test you.

I'm a dad of a boy w/ ADHD and discovered my own at the same time. Too late! Dealing w/ Anxiety and Depression too now, along w/ my Lupus, etc. complicating everything. If it was a Ven Diagram, there would be more in the overlapping middle of the circles than off to the edges.

[BelieveInMe]

I just spent a month in the psych unit at our hospital. I've been diagnosed with Bipolar and ADHD. The last month has been tough.