[comicgirl88]

Now....before I begin my husband has never given me a reason to mistrust him, as he has never cheated on me. But I have something in my head that believes he is going to violate our vows. Let me start by saying he is a very sweet, sarcastic and friendly man in general. Rarely is he ever truly mean or brutal with people unless they are close family such as myself and our parents. He recieved a text message a month before our wedding from a woman he was sexually involved with a year or two before we met. The text included a few pictures of this girl in a few dresses and she was asking him his opinion of the dresses. She say that she asked so she could make sure she looked appropriate for the wedding. He proceeded to tell her that she looks good in just about anything and that if she had anymore that she wanted an opinion on to FEEL FREE TO SHOW HIM!!! They just seem over the line flirtatious at least in my head thats how i see it. He claims that they quit seeing eachother because they are better off just friends and they were always "better" at being just friends, therefore she is one of his "best friends". Keep in mind we live nearly two states away from this woman (whom is now engaged and had her fiances baby). Now he is going back for a big National event for his hobby about 2 hours away from his hometown, which naturally he wants to stay with his parents 4 days before this event even begins. I am not sure if he is going THAT early just to fullfill some sort of void of feeling like he's "still got it" in a case where they would spend time together, maybe go on a date or if he is going to legitamately spend time with his parents. But this jealousy eats at me almost constantly. I have my good days and bad days to say the least. Please help me. How do i know if this is what he is trying to pursue? Like i said he claims to be "totally anti-cheating" but the way he talks to this girl sometimes makes me feel like there are feelings still there but i have no way of knowing since when i bring it up he says "Im with YOU not her" I dont want to ruin my marriage because of these possibly irrational feelings. I feel like something must be wrong with me.
Thank you very much for your feedback.

[LostMom3]

I have the same type fears with my husband with his ex and he says they are just friends. I have to bite my tongue sometimes to not say something that will cause a fight. I don't really know what to tell you about your situation. Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in having those thoughts.

[Nicks_Nose]

Jealousy can be a vicious thing. Acknowledging that it is jealousy is a big first step. Perhaps some personal counselling might help with the issue. I am not a professional, but, I think it helps to remember that he has been a devoted partner throughout your marriage and you have no valid reasons to suspect cheating . He deserves respect for that.

What is it about yourself that makes you think he would prefer this woman over you? To think your partner prefers to sleep with another woman would indicate that somewhere in that line of thought, you believe that the other woman is somehow better than you. In what way? Is it a trust issue with men? Has a man of importance in your past or present life cheated? (a father cheated on a mother? past partner?) These are issues that should be discussed with a professional to help you figure out what riggers these feelings of jealousy or threats of infidelity.

[ocdwifeofsociopath]

if he is staying with his parents I would not worry. He's not going to risk having them know something is up if he had other things in mind than spending time with them. Before he goes, apologize about your irrational jealousy and tell him you love him and trust him. If he had any straying thoughts, it might guilt him into to being good and respecting you for respecting him. if he never had any want to betray you, it will help repair the hurt of your distrust. I could be way off base though...

[~EnlightenMe~]

Originally Posted by Nicks_Nose

Jealousy can be a vicious thing. Acknowledging that it is jealousy is a big first step. Perhaps some personal counselling might help with the issue. I am not a professional, but, I think it helps to remember that he has been a devoted partner throughout your marriage and you have no valid reasons to suspect cheating . He deserves respect for that.

What is it about yourself that makes you think he would prefer this woman over you? To think your partner prefers to sleep with another woman would indicate that somewhere in that line of thought, you believe that the other woman is somehow better than you. In what way? Is it a trust issue with men? Has a man of importance in your past or present life cheated? (a father cheated on a mother? past partner?) These are issues that should be discussed with a professional to help you figure out what riggers these feelings of jealousy or threats of infidelity.

For me, it definitely feels like I am less than everyone else. Jealously stems from my insecurity. Why would someone want to stay with no one like me?
My H has been devoted and does deserve respect, I agree. For me, I am afraid.