[sadplant]

I'm sorry - this is going to be quite a long post.

Hi! My name is Sophia and I'm new to this forum. I probably should start off by saying that I've never been diagnosed with an Anxiety Disorder of any sort. In fact, I've only ever been diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa (recovered?), and Depression, and the last time I ever met with a psychiatrist was two 1/2 years ago.

This all started after my attempt at recovering from Anorexia backfired and I started bingeing horribly as a new way to cope. And I gained a lot of weight from that. Though now I've stopped both restricting and bingeing and my weight has sort of stabilized, I still do engage in these behaviors once in a while.

I'm 19 years old and should be graduating from college very soon. But I've not even enrolled myself into a college yet. In fact, it's been a while since I've stepped out of my front door to go pick up my letters from the mailbox. I have an extreme fear of going out of my house. By extreme, I mean I've considered suicide as a way to escape having to see people and places I once knew. (Though I've never attempted suicide before...).

This has been going on for two years. This year alone, I've only left my house for a maximum of 32 hours entirely (accompanied by my parents - and several layers of clothing and scarves to hide my face and body). I'm pretty sure I've embarrassed my parents many times during our outings by freaking out in public whenever I was asked to enter a shop or a restaurant. It's terrifying to even think of doing that. I've stopped answering the phone unless it's my mum or dad. I've stopped sending emails to all my friends (except one, who probably hates me). I've not seen anyone I once knew for ages. I only ever go out if I'm at least 90% sure we're going to a place where no one I know'll be there. And every time my parents manage to convince me to go out, there'll be a moment where I start crying or pinching myself or my mum (who usually holds my hand wherever I go, so I don't freak out too much) and just start acting like a child (I'm sure it's hard on my parents and I feel bad for behaving that way). That's just when I go out.

When I'm at home, sometimes I experience these 'panic attacks', though I'm not too sure if they're considered panic attacks given that what I experience doesn't sound as severe as what people on the internet describe their panic attacks as being. When I do get these 'attacks', my chest starts to hurt, I feel nauseated (and have problems drinking water), my hands and fingers always feel prickly and numb, I feel giddy and weak, my hands shake a lot, and I feel these 'chills' and sometimes my face feels hot (internally). They usually last for about 10 to 20 minutes (four times a week, max). Sometimes they last for 50 minutes, but those are quite rare. Are these even considered panic attacks? Because I've never felt like I was about to die, or depersonalized whenever I got these 'attacks', unlike everyone else who've described their panic attacks online. So I don't know...

I've developed several problematic behaviors/personality traits in the past two years as well, but I guess those don't have anything to do with what I'm asking. So I'll talk about that later. I hope I made sense! Sorry for such a long post!

[JIDude]

New here, too. Brand new, never heard of this board. Just had a panic attack and browsed the web to read about others' experiences. Came across your post and saw that there haven't been any responses yet, and I want you to have a response right away.

Yup, the symptoms you describe sound like a panic attack. The symptoms vary by person. I've had some of those that you describe. Been fighting anxiety and panic disorder for the past 20 years. It comes and goes. During good periods, I may not need any meds to cope, but during bad periods I definitely need them.

Go see a psychologist or someone who specializes in anxiety disorder. You're suffering through things that someone your age should never have to cope with. Treatment may mean meds, talking things through with the psychologist, group sessions, or some combination of all of these. I would guess that you'd be put on meds to help you chill out a bit, and then baby steps after that.

In the meantime, contact your friends. I'm much older than you and I've made the mistake of disappearing into the woodwork, not keeping in touch with friends. These are people I love and miss, and yet there's something in me that's screwed up and I feel, well, ashamed of myself and my life and don't get hold of them. Again, you're too young to get into a habit like that. So, right now, go send an email to at least one person you've lost touch with. It doesn't have to be long, just say hi, how are you, I'm doing great (it's okay to tell some white lies). In fact, I'm going to do exactly this myself.

You take care, hang in there, there are lots of folks in your situation.

[sadplant]

bump! please help. :-(

[pbutton]

Your panic attacks do sound similiar to mine - I get tingly and don't want to eat or drink. (Although, my therapist has advised me to drink water because it helps calm my body down. No one stops for a sip of water when being chased by a tiger. )

Do you have a therapist? CBT really helped me. My T told me to read more about anxiety. The more I learned, the more I knew I wasn't going crazy & that there were methods to help me work towards a better life.

It's hard, but you can do it.

[Blue_Bird]

Welcome to the forum I have had a similar problems as you, am the same age as well. I always feel bad about my friends being in college and me not even really being able to leave the house much anymore. I agree with pbutton about the drinking water thing and CBT. I have recently started running and grabbing a water or something to drink as soon as I feel a panic attack coming on to keep my mind off it, or I put cold water on my face. In CBT I was also told to write down when I'm having a panic attack, the time and what I was doing before it happened to see if there's any kind of pattern or trigger. For me there doesn't seem to be any patterns or anything but there are for a lot of people.

The tingly sensation does sound like a panic attack, you may not personally feel like you're going to die or feel depersonalized but it still sounds like panic attacks and worth looking into to see what's causing it or what can help to stop them. In the beginning I was getting help for something else unrelated to anxiety as well then the anxiety/panic disorder just kind of came up out of nowhere for me and disrupted my life so much. I hope you can maybe start seeing your psychiatrist again or be able to do psychotherapy with a therapist to help you out

[Odee]

I like to call the non-severe attacks "anxiety attacks" -- a random spurt of anxiety but not OMFG PANIC attacks. Panic is just a very strong word.

They are still very uncomfortable.

[sadplant]

Thank you so much for all your responses!!

It's very difficult for me to find a proper psychiatrist in this country, as there are very few around. Also, even if I did find one, I'd require me to.. well, go out (but I'll try my best).

I was Googling stuff last night and read about Avoidant Personality Disorder. And the symptoms sound a lot similar to what I'm going through. Is there a difference between AvPD and Agoraphobia? I'm so confused.
Also, does anxiety cause overwhelming and uncontrollable anger? I've been having that a lot lately, and was never that way before.

Odee, if my 'attacks' aren't severe, does that mean I don't need to take any medications for it?

Sorry for asking so many questions like this! It's hard for me to get answers from anywhere else. And I'm still searching for a doctor. Thank you, again! I really appreciate all your help.

[sadplant]

Oh sorry! I should probably ask that question in the AvPD forum!

[volatile]

Avoidant personality disorder is more of a wide range of avoidance behaviors, not just avoiding going out in public... Agoraphobia is a phobia, it is specific and NOT wide ranging like a personality disorder which would encompass every aspect of their life.
I have mild agoraphobia and I've had the exact same panic and fears from having to go out. AvPD has never come up in therapy for me and I doubt it ever will.

Also you don't always need medication to help with panic disorders, sometimes you just need a lot of therapy. I really suggest you talk to a therapist at least. What helped me most was just having someone to talk to that knows what's going on. Medication just made everything worse for me.

Also welcome to pc )

[Odee]

Originally Posted by sadplant

Odee, if my 'attacks' aren't severe, does that mean I don't need to take any medications for it?

You never have to take medication. It's your choice. Even if the attacks aren't 100% severe they can still be a bother and I believe most attacks that people have will be more "anxiety" than they are "panic."

And yes, I think the spurts of anger can result from a similar process to the anxiety.