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#1
Jul 16, 2013, 08:16 PM
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I really realized this tonight. I have anxiety because of the way my dad talks and thinks. I love him to death. He just definitely has anxiety too. Everything he says is negative. Even if its positive there is always a but or an exception. Not in a mean way but a doom kind of way. For example if I wanted to go somewhere he would come up with all the dangers that I would encounter along my way but then say something positive but then discount it again. And this would help me talk myself out of going just like he would talk himself out it as well. This goes into every form of conversation. Like he will just harp on things, even small if he doesn't understand is nothing but negative commentary about small things. He is a loving dad but he definitely has anxiety issues himself. I noticed more as I have gotten into my 20s. I just had a conversation with him and I got a headache because we think too similarly and he just introduces more anxiety that I have been trying to escape. I think from this I have casted a perfectionism and over enthusiastic personality on myself where I get very excited and feel like things need to be perfect to work out because of all these negative thoughts and exceptions. I over compensate with excessive enthusiasm for things and when they don't turn out the way I expect the fall is much worse. I feel like I am just venting about this discovery but if anyone wants to comment feel free. Thank you.
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"Love looks forward, hate looks back, anxiety has eyes all over its head." ~Mignon McLaughlin, author~  The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination. ~Carl Rogers, psychologist~
 Last edited by pngindreamr; Jul 16, 2013 at 08:58 PM. |
 Benetduncan, jadedbutterfly, kaliope, spondiferous
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#2
Jul 17, 2013, 05:13 PM
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that is some excellent insight. so now what are you going to do with it? it is time to challenge your own thoughts and possibly even challenge your father. you will be able to greatly reduce your anxiety by questioning where it comes from and changing those thoughts. good luck.
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#3
Aug 10, 2013, 02:37 PM
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Yeah, my dad is on the mean side of that. Except he's in denial that he's mean, or even gloomy. I definitely have that mentality, and not just from growing up with him (and the other assorted **** I had to deal with) but life experience. But lately I just can't be around him anymore. And I'm realizing at the same time that I am not much different except that I am working really hard at not being like that and taking ownership of when I slip and consciously trying to improve things.
Still have a lot of the mentality though. :shrug:
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