[Arethusa]

sometimes when I'm about to call someone, my heart starts to beat really fast and I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack.

sometimes when I'm talking to someone, I find that I have trouble making eye contact. I'll glance up at them just so that they know that I'm paying attention but I can't maintain eye contact. It makes me anxious. I just can't stand people staring at me (even though I tend to do that a lot, though not as much as when I was a kid, just because I'm more mindfully aware that I shouldn't just outright stare at people).

I also have trouble paying attention to people when they're having long conversations. I get distracted and bored easily and just wanna tell them to shut up or just walk away from them.

does anybody else experience this or is it just me? and what can I do combat this?

[healingme4me]

Are you part of the long conversations, when you bore easily of them?

Sounds like social anxiety, but I am not certain. Have you asked, this on the Anxiety thread?

[gayleggg]

I can relate to having trouble paying attention to long conversations. Unfortunately, my husband always has to draw out any thing he talks about. Drives me crazy. If I'm in a really bad mood I do have to tell him either get to the point or shut up. If I'm in a fairly good mood I just let him ramble and tune him out.

sorry you are having anxiety regarding talking on the phone. I don't have anxiety but sometimes just don't want to talk to anyone.

Have you seen a counselor? that might help with getting control of your anxiety.
Hope it gets better.
Gayle

[yellowfrog268]

Part of it sounds like anxiety ie.. getting nervous before a phone call, eye contact, sensitive to staring. As for tuning out during long conversations, could be boredom could also be attention span problems.

[Odee]

I get anxious over phone calls but definitely not that anxious. I'm just more hesitant but I have learned to suck it up and get it over with over the past couple of years.

I also used to have a lot more 'social hesitation' when I was in highschool and now I am still hesitant but much less so. Obviously, I am not a sufferer of Social Anxiety, which sounds like something you might be experiencing.

As for long conversations: I have issues with attention span a lot, sometimes to the point that I am trying to listen to someone and immediately tune out during the first sentence -- and this can be someone I love and want to talk to!

[angustios101]

Your post is totally me. I get really anxious before calling people, anyone, a friend or a government agency. I have to rehearse what I'm going to say before I call, it's ridiculous. I also tend to zone out during long convos mainly because I'm so hypervigilant about all the convos going on around me. I don't check my voicemail because I get too anxious about who left a message. I rarely check email because I get anxious doing that. I have to psych myself up to go to the grocery store...it's all very boring I wish I could just turn the thoughts off.

[MaryJayne47]

Sounds a lot like myself as well. I find i have to practice what i'm going to say to people on the phone, or else I get too anxious when i'm talking and I stumble on my words. I hate calling people. I hate when people call me too. As soon as i see who it is, and its a person who i can just text, I'll pretend I missed their call, then text them to see what they wanted.

I also do the EXACT same thing when it comes to eye contact and long stories. When i don't know the person very well and they're talking to me sometimes i pretend that the things happening around us are distracting me so i have an excuse to look somewhere else. As far as the stories go, I have trouble paying attention, and i find myself auto answering, without even realizing it! My sister called the other day, and i didnt want to talk so bad that I didn't realize till after I hung up that i had no idea what she said!!

It makes me feel really crappy, but I don't really know what to do about it either

[Samanthagreene]

I agree about the calling. Sometimes, I pretend I'm in a scripted play or movie when I call someone so if I get embarrassed or flustered, I can just tell myself I'm acting really well. That sounds weird, but it actually does help me.

[metamorphosis12]

It sounds like social anxiety! Same thing I have. The problem being is just making normal contact with others. Especially, people you do not know intimately and people you randomly meet. I am the same. I do not have a car so I either walk, bus or ride my bike with good weather. I understand where you are coming from.
There are different methods ACT/CBT and meds that can help. Let me tell you it has been hard for me, individually!