I send an email. Or I send a text. Or I post a comment. I always end up obsessing about it.

I expect an answer right away. I check my email or my phone or the post constantly awaiting a reply. I obsess obsess obsess.

If I don't get a reply within five minutes I start to get angry. Angry, disappointed. I start thinking that they hate me. They're awful I'm awful they hate me I hate them.

Anyone else have a similar problem?

Now just wait as I refresh this twenty times a minute waiting for a reply.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Haha. I think this is a surprisingly common problem!

I don't hate you! I can't hate someone of whom I do not know. :P

Oh, by the way, I do obsess over E-Mails, texts, comments, etc. I obsess over what I said, what I should have said, what I didn't say, how I said what I said, how [person] might see it, and how [person] might see it, or how both [person] and [person] might see it, or how... etc. Then, if my OCD/anxiety is bad at the time, I'll end up obsessing over the grammar, spelling, word choices, how often certain words are repeated, and so on. Sounds like you have OCD, too.

There are reasons why you might not get a reply to this thread:

1. Not many people are online at any given time.

2. Not many people are online at any given time, that use this forum.

3. People might not know how to respond.

4. Some people might be too shy to post.

5. Some people might just be too new and unsure of any posting rules.

6. Some people are perhaps unfamiliar with your particular issue, and therefore do not feel the need to post.

7. Aliens may have invaded their computer area.

8. They may have just spontaneously combusted, upon discovered the meaning of life.

9. They may be AFK.

10. The Borg from Star Trek may have assimilated them.

11. They may have discovered a Star Gate and gone to another planet, without means to return.

...and I'm sure there are a great many other possibilities - in actuality, contrary to your obsessions, it is logically far less likely that complete strangers are going to "hate" you based on one small thread on a site where people open up about all sorts.

Think logically - in my opinion, logic is one of your best weapons against OCD and anxiety.

You can refresh, now. :P

[Mustkeepjob32]

I obsess on emails but only when I'm talking to a recruiter about a job. Since getting and KEEPING a job is my biggest goal right now, that's why I worry about it so much but it get's emotionally draining to hit "Check Mail" a million times and no new message comes up!

[neutrino]

Originally Posted by lalalabp

I send an email. Or I send a text. Or I post a comment. I always end up obsessing about it.

I expect an answer right away. I check my email or my phone or the post constantly awaiting a reply. I obsess obsess obsess.

If I don't get a reply within five minutes I start to get angry. Angry, disappointed. I start thinking that they hate me. They're awful I'm awful they hate me I hate them.

Anyone else have a similar problem?

Now just wait as I refresh this twenty times a minute waiting for a reply.

Oh, I can definitely relate to this! Pretty much happens every day.

Originally Posted by Akuma

Oh, by the way, I do obsess over E-Mails, texts, comments, etc. I obsess over what I said, what I should have said, what I didn't say, how I said what I said, how [person] might see it, and how [person] might see it, or how both [person] and [person] might see it, or how... etc. Then, if my OCD/anxiety is bad at the time, I'll end up obsessing over the grammar, spelling, word choices, how often certain words are repeated, and so on.

Story of my life. Do you keep rereading and rewriting/editing things you've written as well (I know I'll reread this post over and over and over again)? Emails, posts on forums like this one etc.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Well, neutrino, that is an affirmative! I do exactly that, and it drives me crazy. One particular thing I do, is as follows:

1. I type out an article.
--- 1a. I read it, at least once - number depends on importance or significance of article.
2. I want to show the article to [friend #1]. I first read it, from their perspective.
--- 2a. Sometimes, I will spot something I feel is "wrong", from their perspective, so it will be edited.
--- 2b. I re-read it, once the editing is done, and this is often looped, until completed.

Or,

1. I type out - say - a diary entry.
--- 1a. I read it, at least once - number depends on how sensitive I feel the information to be. I may end up re-reading, for each person I know, of whom will see the entry.
2. I may wish to link someone to the diary entry, in which case I need to specifically re-read yet again, from their perspective.
--- 2a. I may find errors, or make other possibly unnecessary or pedantic edits, to comply with how I feel they will see/read it/receive it as.

Or,

1. I want to add someone to my Facebook.
--- 1a. I read stuff on my Facebook, from their perspective, to ascertain how comfortable I feel them knowing the information.
--- 1b. I may even go through all or most of my photos, videos, and notes, to be sure it's all "OK".

The above is how it often goes, with a few variations. Depending on the things I'm typing, writing, or even saying, I may ruminate over it a lot, not at all, or minimally.

When I talk, I will often be consciously proof-hearing what I'm saying, and it's not uncommon for me to backtrack, repeating a sentence to make it sound more correct, which may well be correct, but it can often increase anxiety, disturb the natural flow of converse, or side-track my thoughts, and stop me being able to properly get across what it was I originally intended to say.

I could probably go on, but I think I've said enough. :P

Sometimes it's fine, but sometimes it's really not. Right now, for example, I don't feel the urge to re-read this, but chances are, the moment I've submitted it, I will then read it, regardless of the fact that I touch-type very well and read everything of which I type, as it is being typed. I've just read this paragraph, to make sure it sounds right, makes sense, as well as to check for any errors of text that would bug me.

I don't mind this too much, but when it interferes, it gets irritating, and sometimes embarrassing - I likely look a bit crazy, a lot of the time.

I can't entirely fault this method, although, I would rather I could speak and type perfectly, without having to correct myself all the time! I remember, in a support group I went to a while back, for OCD, the subject of perfectionism came up, and I think you'll have figured out that is something I struggle with. They said that we need to learn to accept less than perfect - one person even suggested purposefully making an error that you are fully aware of, then having whatever it is, submitted.

Originally Posted by neutrino

Story of my life. Do you keep rereading and rewriting/editing things you've written as well (I know I'll reread this post over and over and over again)? Emails, posts on forums like this one etc.

Most of the time I proof read like mad, but sometimes I'll just type it and let it go...

[neutrino]

Thanks for writing all of that, Akuma. That was definitely interesting to read! I'm not sure you're interested but I'll try to explain what it's like for me.

I have a tendency to think a lot about things that I've written. If I for example write a post on a forum like this one I, just like you, think about grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, the words I've used, how what I've written might come across etc. I want it to be perfect, I need it to be perfect and if it isn't I might as well delete it. That leads to me rereading things over and over and over again multiple times before and after posting (it also leads to me deleting a lot of my posts because I find them imperfect when I reread them). I do so throughout the day and not only around the time the post has been written. It takes up a lot of time sometimes and even though I might be "sure" the post is fine I go back and check it again and again (so far I've probably read this about ten times). If I'm at university or something and I don't have access to my laptop I reread the post on my phone. I think I'm worried that people will think I'm really stupid if I make mistakes. I'm pretty scared of failure and mistakes as well as what other people think of me.

Another thing which I find really annoying sometimes is the fact that I often feel the need to reread things if I make mistakes while reading, for example pronouncing a word incorrectly (out loud or in my head). I remember I did this in my early teens as well though I'm not sure if I saw it as some sort of game I played with myself or if I actually felt compelled to go back and "undo" mistakes. Sometimes I don't even have to make a mistake in order to feel that I need to reread what I just read. Sometimes it just feels "wrong" so then I read the text again. At times I also feel the urge to erase words I've written and write them again or I'll get a weird/strange "feeling" in my fingers.

It took me almost 45 minutes to write this post.

EDIT: Oh and I sometimes have to erase and rewrite certain letters I've written by hand if I think they're "uneven" (if I've for example written a letter with a different amount of pressure than the rest of the text or if it just looks asymmetrical/uneven).

[neutrino]

Originally Posted by lalalabp

Most of the time I proof read like mad, but sometimes I'll just type it and let it go...

I can never "just type it and let it go". That would make me pretty anxious.

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by Akuma

1. I type out - say - a diary entry.
--- 1a. I read it, at least once - number depends on how sensitive I feel the information to be. I may end up re-reading, for each person I know, of whom will see the entry.
2. I may wish to link someone to the diary entry, in which case I need to specifically re-read yet again, from their perspective.
--- 2a. I may find errors, or make other possibly unnecessary or pedantic edits, to comply with how I feel they will see/read it/receive it as.

Or,

1. I want to add someone to my Facebook.
--- 1a. I read stuff on my Facebook, from their perspective, to ascertain how comfortable I feel them knowing the information.
--- 1b. I may even go through all or most of my photos, videos, and notes, to be sure it's all "OK".

The above is how it often goes, with a few variations. Depending on the things I'm typing, writing, or even saying, I may ruminate over it a lot, not at all, or minimally...

I've haven't yet been diagnosed with anything, but many of the tests I take suggest that there may be a little bit of OCD in me - and OMG, reading this was SOOO creepy and so relatable! Lol. Yesterday I read an 11 page letter I wrote (Typed, 10 font) like 4 times, and the reply to it, about 6 more. Lol, it could be anxiety too but good lord - the struggle is real! lol, glad i'm not alone.

[Melmo]

I have that problem too. When nobody responds to my posts, it
Makes me feel like nobody cares. I feel alone and frustrated with nobody to talk to.

[xxxispillcoffeexxx]

absolutely brilliant post, man I do this all the time. Good ideas going in this thread. Only thing that has worked for me is to shut the phone and computer down and enjoy the silence until that person is ready to respond. don't take my advice usually. Still working at it. Totally crave social expression and trust from those in my life. Keep working at it, I am right here with you and everyone with the same problem.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Neutrino, no problem. I am interested.

I more or less just related to everything you said. I, however, don't seem too fussed about whether my writing is asymmetrical/uneven, but then I never write, by hand, as I always type.

I don't know if I can say it takes up a lot of time, for me. I don't spend all day looking at posts I've typed out, on my phone or other capable device, but when typing things out, it can take quite a long time to finally submit and leave it be. For those times when I am to submit something I feel is important, during my OCD spiking even just a bit, it could then take me up to a couple of hours, depending on the length, subject, complexity, etc. I get even more obsessive over my German, and the worst thing there, is that my German grammar is questionable, since it's my second language and I've taught myself over only 4 years.

Sometimes I do retype things, but I don't feel it's particularly problematic for me; sometimes I retype things out, in order to teach my brain how something should instead be done.

I've been touch-typing this post, as usual, and therefore reading it as I go - there is a good chance I'll read this once I've submitted it, and I guarantee you I shall find at least one error that I must correct. I can rarely just leave the error there; well, in theory, I could, but I'd rather not, as it would bug me.

I also scared of failure. I'm also often worried about what people think of me. More than anything, I scrutinize myself, as if I were, by another.

TealBumblebee, you are not even remotely alone.

[Max]

Just WOW!

Akuma teaching yourself german? Just amazing!

Everyone else, MORE WOW!!
You all have such a handle on your anxiety, plus you all have been here and it took me forever to get it together to post after I joined. You all are miles ahead in researching & taking control of things......

How do you guys not see this?

I've been reading and I admit I haven't posted to more cause right now I've been taking it all in and listening. Looking at everyone's thoughts & feelings and comparing it to what's going on with me to see where I can try harder. Never thought yet that this is not fair to not provide more feedback & conversation?

Sorry!!!