[neutrino]

Since my social anxiety disorder (among other things) is such a huge problem for me a "deal" has been made with the professors/lecturers/teachers at my university when it comes to speaking in front of my class. I'm supposed to not give any presentations in front of the class right now but instead give presentations in front of the teacher and then eventually and gradually work my way into being able to present for the whole class. Are you with me so far?

Right now I'm taking a class in biochemistry and during this class there are two mandatory seminars I'll have to attend. One on Thursday this week and one on Monday next week. My professor in this class told me that I'll do the presentations in front of him and not in front of the others but that I'll need to attend the seminars, discuss the assignments with the people in my group and then listen to the others presenting.

Anyway, my professor said he could tell the people in my group that I won't be giving presentations in front of the whole class so that my group won't think I'm lying or trying to get out of it or something. I agreed. However, I know people will ask me why I'm not participating. Some of them asked me similar questions when they noticed I get to take exams in a separate room (where it's quiet etc). I avoided answering their questions but this time I feel like that won't work. I need to come up with a good answer and I really don't know what to tell them. The fact that everyone will notice that I'm at the seminars but not giving presentations scare me. They will notice that something's "off".

What if they think I'm really weird and they start talking about me? That's not even the toughest thing though. The hardest part is being forced to reveal such personal things about myself. I mean, I know I don't have to tell people about my diagnoses but they'll know something's wrong. I don't want them to know. Not because I'm ashamed (because I don't think I am) but because it's so freaking personal. That's information which belongs to me. Information I only share with people I can really trust (and a lot of the time I don't even tell people I trust about these things).

What would you do in this kind of situation? Have you got any suggestions on what I can say when people ask me why the heck I'm not giving the presentations with them in front of the class? I keep imagining that people will ask me questions and making me really uncomfortable. I also keep imagining that they'll look at me. I hate it when people look at me. At this point I'm not even sure how to handle the fact that I need to participate in the group discussion (before the presentations).

[anneo59]

Originally Posted by neutrino

Since my social anxiety disorder (among other things) is such a huge problem for me a "deal" has been made with the professors/lecturers/teachers at my university when it comes to speaking in front of my class. I'm supposed to not give any presentations in front of the class right now but instead give presentations in front of the teacher and then eventually and gradually work my way into being able to present for the whole class. Are you with me so far?

Right now I'm taking a class in biochemistry and during this class there are two mandatory seminars I'll have to attend. One on Thursday this week and one on Monday next week. My professor in this class told me that I'll do the presentations in front of him and not in front of the others but that I'll need to attend the seminars, discuss the assignments with the people in my group and then listen to the others presenting.

Anyway, my professor said he could tell the people in my group that I won't be giving presentations in front of the whole class so that my group won't think I'm lying or trying to get out of it or something. I agreed. However, I know people will ask me why I'm not participating. Some of them asked me similar questions when they noticed I get to take exams in a separate room (where it's quiet etc). I avoided answering their questions but this time I feel like that won't work. I need to come up with a good answer and I really don't know what to tell them. The fact that everyone will notice that I'm at the seminars but not giving presentations scare me. They will notice that something's "off".

What if they think I'm really weird and they start talking about me? That's not even the toughest thing though. The hardest part is being forced to reveal such personal things about myself. I mean, I know I don't have to tell people about my diagnoses but they'll know something's wrong. I don't want them to know. Not because I'm ashamed (because I don't think I am) but because it's so freaking personal. That's information which belongs to me. Information I only share with people I can really trust (and a lot of the time I don't even tell people I trust about these things).

What would you do in this kind of situation? Have you got any suggestions on what I can say when people ask me why the heck I'm not giving the presentations with them in front of the class? I keep imagining that people will ask me questions and making me really uncomfortable. I also keep imagining that they'll look at me. I hate it when people look at me. At this point I'm not even sure how to handle the fact that I need to participate in the group discussion (before the presentations).

Not sure how to advise here. Is there someone you can speak with or are you getting professional help? Many schools have counseling depts where maybe they can help you handle this. Maybe prof can find you alternative ways of participating. Hope you don't give up and find a way of getting thru this. And I know it happens to others, you are not alone! The best!

[BlessedRhiannon]

When it comes to anxiety, I've found that the truth is sometimes the easiest.

You could simply tell anyone that asks that you're dealing with some anxiety issues and have made alternate arrangements with professors in regards to public speaking.

It's simple, to the point, honest (so there's no lie to remember) and doesn't leave any room for discussion. I know it's hard to reveal something so personal...I've only just now started to be able to do so. I have practiced telling people by telling my dogs, or a mirror, or just saying the words out loud. Being able to honestly tell people that you're struggling with anxiety seems to have eased the terror around telling people something so personal. Each time I tell someone, it gets a little easier, a little less scary, a little less painful.

[RoseInterrupted]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

When it comes to anxiety, I've found that the truth is sometimes the easiest.

You could simply tell anyone that asks that you're dealing with some anxiety issues and have made alternate arrangements with professors in regards to public speaking.

It's simple, to the point, honest (so there's no lie to remember) and doesn't leave any room for discussion. I know it's hard to reveal something so personal...I've only just now started to be able to do so. I have practiced telling people by telling my dogs, or a mirror, or just saying the words out loud. Being able to honestly tell people that you're struggling with anxiety seems to have eased the terror around telling people something so personal. Each time I tell someone, it gets a little easier, a little less scary, a little less painful.

I agree with the above entirely, especially the bit about the lie. I know it seems like an impossible task but most people are willing to at least attempt to understand.

The absolute worst part of my nursing course was when I had to stand up in front of the class and explain the results of a research project. I told my nurse educator that I didn't feel able to do it. She was probably the first person I'd mentioned my anxiety disorder to and she was fine with it. She asked me "what's the worst thing that can ever happen to you?" She answered the question for me by saying "die!" She then went on to tell me that getting up in front of the class, no matter how emotionally painful, "won't kill you" and that "you won't die!" I took those words with me to the lectern and once I got going, I was fine. Half the class wasn't even interested. They were either thankful their turn was over or stressing out because they were next.

I'm not intentionally trying to make this "all about me" but really, I was the worst in the world in a social setting back then and if I managed to find a way through in order to get where I wanted to go, then I bet you can do it too!

For people like us who are really anxious about public speaking, we generally rehearse our subject thoroughly so there's no chance of messing up and once we get started the subject matter just seems to flow.

All the best with it anyway,
Rose.

[janealizabeth]

I agree with the others, while it is very difficult...it is better to be honest about what allowance you might need because of your condition. I have had anxiety disorder and clinical depression and while I did not give people in school the dirty details, I made myself have honest conversations with my professors about what allowances I needed and why (I couldn't attend any classes at one point, not even one). Give them relevant details of the disorder and if it is hard for you, have your doctor talk to them (for which you will have to sign the consent form). Doctors can tell professors/relevant people what is necessary without divulging much. I know that all of this is very hard, but you got to do what you got to do. Hope this helps!

[gnat]

You could answer them without completely spilling your guts. I often vomit from stress and anxiety. When it happens and people notice I simply say, "I have a weak stomach" or something equally vague instead of going on about my issues with anxiety. Perhaps if you keep it simple and say something along the lines of, "I don't do well with public speaking" or "I have a medical concern of a personal nature." Give them as much information as you feel comfortable with, but don't feel obligated to give more.

I hope it goes well for you

[neutrino]

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

Perhaps it's best to say something like "I've got anxiety", "I've got some anxiety issues" or "I've got more problems with public speaking than the average person" (all of these would be understatements but it would still be the truth) or something and leave it at that?

Dreading this an awful lot and just thinking about it makes me anxious. By the way, during the seminars we will be divided into smaller groups (groups of three or so) where we will discuss the assignments for a short while. After that the groups will one by one present the question and the answer to that question. I think my professor will only tell my small group that I'm not going to participate. Not the whole class. So I'll be able to tell my group that I've got anxiety (or whatever I'll end up saying), but what about the rest of the class? I'm afraid they'll sit there and silently wonder what's wrong with me and look at me etc. Freaks me out.

[BlessedRhiannon]

So I'll be able to tell my group that I've got anxiety (or whatever I'll end up saying), but what about the rest of the class? I'm afraid they'll sit there and silently wonder what's wrong with me and look at me etc.

Honestly, the rest of the class probably won't even notice or care. Usually, in the classes/seminars I've attended most people don't pay a whole lot of attention to what's going on around them, and if they do, the it's only to the one person presenting and not to anyone else.

I think you'll find that most people are so involved in their own worlds that they just don't notice the things we're afraid they'll notice.

[neutrino]

Had the first seminar today. I felt like such a bad person for not giving the presentation so that the person in my group had to go up and give the presentation on her own. She did a great job though. Anyway, no one asked me any questions. They were like "oh okaaay?" when I told them I was going to give my presentation later but no questions. One more seminar to go. Then, in two weeks, my next class starts and I'm not sure what will happen then.