[nyoronchii]

Hello. I am very new to this site and a little confused, so I hope I actually posted this in the right place. Apologies in advance if I did not.

Before I begin I should probably point out that I was diagnosed with GAD, ptsd and clinical depression when I was sixteen. I am not currently taking medication.

My anxiety almost never leaves me. I am in a constant state of internal panic and I'm always expecting the very worse out of every situation I'm in, especially ones where I am around my friends. I have terrible self esteem and body image issues, and I've just gotten to the point where I can look people in the eyes when I talk to them. However, lately, something really alarming and scary has been happening to me.

It started about two months ago and has been happening every other day since then.

Sometimes, when I'm sitting around talking to people, my voice will start to sound distant to me. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like I'm backing away from myself. I become extremely aware of existing, to the point that I feel like I'm watching my body exist separate from my mind. It feels strange to acknowledge that I have hands and legs and a face that moves when I talk and it makes me feel so nervous. It's like I'm trying to completely withdraw physically inside of myself because I am suddenly aware of how much space I occupy. I can see the way I move as if I were someone else watching me move, and I scrutinize everything. I become too afraid to form full sentences, or sometimes even talk and I can't focus on anything but the fact that I currently exist. I hide my face and hope that no one notices me the way I'm suddenly noticing me. It's nauseating.

To make this stop I have to focus really hard on everyone else around me and try to drown my own thoughts out with their voices.

I've had many panic attacks in the past and I still get them somewhat frequently but I've never experienced this before.

Does anyone experience episodes like these? If so, what are they and how can I prevent them from happening?

[Pierro]

Nyoronchii, Can I just welcome you to Psych Central. I am not a doctor and I could be totally wrong but I think what you are going through is anxiety and dissociation. I use strong perfume on my wrist to make me snap back to where I am. It feels like an out of body experience in a way, as if I am watching myself but everyone has different experiences. Are you seeing a therapist because you may need to see somebody. Best wishes to you.