[The Aes Sedai]

Does anybody else ever feel like they don't have a personality?

I feel like I come off as a boring person and that that is why people don't talk to me. When I talk to someone, I don't know how to act and see myself how the other person must see me (which is always boring and stupid); and that gets me nervous. I become desperate to think of something to say but my mind just goes blank. It's really annoying and when I go home I feel empty and more like an out cast.

Maybe I am just a boring person? I don't know , but I wish I could just talk to people and have a good sense of self.

I hope I put this in the right forum. I thought it had a few symptoms of social anxiety. I didn't know where else this would be appropriate to post.

hope everyone's doing okay

-The Aes Sedai

[luvjosh07]

Anxiety makes us focus inward more, Where we are always questioning how we look, think, act, etc. It can be hard to hold a conversation or socialize when you are feeling like this. I dont really know much about social anxiety but I know I feel awkward sometimes when Im so "in my head" if that makes sense.

[FrayedEnds]

Hi The Aes Sedai
I can tell just from your post that you are thoughtful, caring and compassionate. Those are great personality traits. I totally understand feeling boring and inadequate when it comes to making converstion though. and then afterwards I obsess about what I should/could have said. It really does get easier the more you force yourself to do it. In the past I felt like people didn't want to talk to me sometimes too. I found that my anxiety was causing me to appear cold and standoffish without me realising or intending it. I'm not saying this is the case for you, but being so "in your head" like luvjosh mentioned can make you more removed from the situation and many people misread that.
Posting here on these forums can be good practice for having conversations without as much risk. Please feel free to pm me anytime you want to practice or vent or whatever. There is no way you can be as awkward as me.

[Daeva]

I feel like that alot. My Personality is based on the people I'm attached too (And I'm only attached to 4) so I feel without them I have no identity

[The Aes Sedai]

Originally Posted by luvjosh07

Anxiety makes us focus inward more, Where we are always questioning how we look, think, act, etc. It can be hard to hold a conversation or socialize when you are feeling like this. I dont really know much about social anxiety but I know I feel awkward sometimes when Im so "in my head" if that makes sense.

Yes, that does make sense. I know what you mean about being so "in your head", when talking to people. I am always aware of how weird I make things, but realizing this only makes me more uncomfortable. Being in my head limits me from doing the littlest things. It restricts me from talking to people, speaking in class, going outside... But I've been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone a bit; like taking my dog for a walk, talking to people first and being more relaxed when doing so. It's not easy. But I won't give up.

Thanks so much for your response. It means a lot and I wish the best for you. talk to me anytime, if you want.

-The Aes Sedai

[IndieVisible]

I have felt like that, usually in some sort of social gathering. I do better one on one, in a group my mind is easily distracted and I think too much which can and does appear awkward some times to others around me. I also get paranoid and then the anxiety kicks in. It's not that I don't have a personality so much as I feel threatened.

[The Aes Sedai]

Originally Posted by FrayedEnds

Hi The Aes Sedai
I can tell just from your post that you are thoughtful, caring and compassionate. Those are great personality traits. I totally understand feeling boring and inadequate when it comes to making converstion though. and then afterwards I obsess about what I should/could have said. It really does get easier the more you force yourself to do it. In the past I felt like people didn't want to talk to me sometimes too. I found that my anxiety was causing me to appear cold and standoffish without me realising or intending it. I'm not saying this is the case for you, but being so "in your head" like luvjosh mentioned can make you more removed from the situation and many people misread that.
Posting here on these forums can be good practice for having conversations without as much risk. Please feel free to pm me anytime you want to practice or vent or whatever. There is no way you can be as awkward as me.

Hello, Frayed Ends
Thank you so much for your message. Though I'm sorry that you may feel the same way I do sometimes, I'm glad we can both relate. I do understand how being so "in your head" can make you appear more distant and cold. I am trying to push myself to start being more relaxed around others.

I feel like I sound like a robot when writing on these forums; but posting things I feel and being able to relate to others on this website is helping me a lot. Having conversations are much easier behind the computer. I can edit the words I type and think about everything I want to say before anyone can read it. I wish it were as simple in real life.

You are really kind, understanding, and thoughtful. Again, thank you for your message
I will talk to you soon

The Aes Sedai

[The Aes Sedai]

Originally Posted by Daeva

I feel like that alot. My Personality is based on the people I'm attached too (And I'm only attached to 4) so I feel without them I have no identity

I know what you mean. I have only one friend that I can be myself around. We moved to different schools two years ago, and without her, I kind of lost part of myself.
Thanks for your response.

-The Aes Sedai