[MattMVS7]

A phobia is something you have no choice but to fear. Someone with claustrophobia will panic in a closed space regardless of the fact that this person knows there is nothing to fear and that there is no reason to fear. Whatever we fear can become a phobia. If we start to fear something, that will develop into a phobia (that is, it will develop into a fear that we have no choice but to fear).

There is a certain thought that came to me which I am fearing all day everyday. The reason I am fearing this thought all day everyday is because I'm thinking that this thought has already become a phobia and that I now have no choice but to fear it. Me thinking that I now have no choice but to fear it is what's causing me to have no choice but to fear it.

Therefore, I wish to know if this thought I'm having has already become a phobia (something I have no choice but to fear). Or has it not become a phobia and that the only reason why I'm fearing it is because I'm thinking that I have no choice but to fear it?

Since the source of me fearing this thought is thinking that I have no choice but to fear it, if that source were proven false (taken away), would that completely get rid of the fear of that thought? Or has this fear become a phobia (something I have no choice but to fear anyway) in that even if this source were to be taken away, I would still have no choice but to fear this thought?

Also, another thing regarding a phobia is that not only do you have no choice but to fear it, but you also have no choice but to fear of fearing it. Therefore, if the source of me fearing this thought were to be taken away, would I still have no choice but to fear of fearing this thought?

Finally, if I actually had a phobia from this thought in the past and I don't even realize it, then would fearing this thought bring back this phobia in that I would now have no choice but to fear it and have no choice but to fear of fearing it?

Could someone who is perhaps an expert in psychology and phobias give me the answer to this question and tell me what is required for any type of fear to become something you have no choice but to fear and if what I'm saying is true or false, and if my fear qualifies as becoming a phobia or not. And that if this were a phobia I experienced in the past, would me fearing it now have brought it back to where I now have no choice but to fear it and have no choice but to fear of fearing it?

[Pierro]

Hello ,

Why dont you post this on Doc. Clyde's site. He would be able to answer you.

[FrayedEnds]

Originally Posted by MattMVS7

Could someone who is perhaps an expert in psychology and phobias give me the answer to this question and tell me what is required for any type of fear to become something you have no choice but to fear and if what I'm saying is true or false, and if my fear qualifies as becoming a phobia or not.

Hi Matt
I'm certainly no expert in psychology..and I'm only an 'expert' regarding my own phobias. I have successfully conquered phobias by feeling the fear, but not letting it paralyze me anymore. You can't exactly CHOOSE whether you have fear or not...but you can choose how you deal with fear.
You seem to be really distressed by worrying if your fear is fear or if your fear is a phobia. Trying to disect it and define and qualify fear is probably only causing even more fear.

Originally Posted by MattMVS7

And that if this were a phobia I experienced in the past, would me fearing it now have brought it back to where I now have no choice but to fear it and have no choice but to fear of fearing it?

I have had to sort of re-do some work on an old phobia because I felt it creeping back up on me. For me, it's something I have to work on consciously so I do not fall back into bad habits.

[Rapunzel]

Anxiety of any kind comes from attributing more power to the fear than it actually has, and at the same time attributing less control or strength to yourself than you actually have. Phobias can be overcome.

The part of what you wrote that is true is that you feel what you feel. Also, past experience often does intensify what you feel in the present beyond the actual danger such as panicking in an enclosed place although you are able to realize that there is not a danger in it now. The key to overcoming phobia or other types of anxiety is being able to realize that you are not in danger even if you feel like panicking. If you think that the fear is inevitable, you give it more power than it actually has or deserves, and you paint yourself into a corner. But it is possible to acknowledge the feeling and ride it out and demonstrate to yourself that you are safe even when you feel the fear. The more that you ride it out, the less power the fear will have, and the stronger you will be, and eventually you might not even feel the fear anymore, or it will be so small that it's no big deal.

This works best if you start small, and of course you need to make sure that the fear is actually unrealistic. You can overcome a fear of spiders and get to the point where you can allow a non-poisonous spider to walk across your hand without panicking, but if you try to overcome a fear of black widow spiders, and you put yourself in danger and get hurt, you will reinforce the fear instead. A moderate fear is healthy. We should be afraid of jumping from high places, running in front of cars, approaching dangerous animals, etc. But we can train ourselves to know the difference between those dangers vs. being in an elevator, safely crossing the street, or petting a tame dog, etc. You need to ask yourself what is realistic, and if you need to, check it out by doing your research or talking to someone you can trust. It can be helpful to have someone for support as you confront your fears. This can be a part of therapy.

Phobias are not inevitable. Developing a phobia has a lot to do with what you are telling yourself. And fear isn't necessarily bad. Its job is to warn you of danger. But you have to decide how big the danger really is and how you want to react to it.