[Hummingbird99]

I had a mental breakdown about a month ago while riding the bus. I was convinced that people were after me, or that people were trying to frame me.

One month later I'm on Risperidone, and I'm taking the bus to and back from school again. While it isn't as bad as it was before, it's still a struggle. I'm very self conscious of everything I do in public, I feel generally uncomfortable (I wasn't always like this), and it takes a lot of effort on my part to keep my thoughts focused. The whole time, I'll have this tightness/discomfort in my chest that is tied to my anxiety.

And at the back of my mind, that anxiety never really fades, despite how dulled down it gets.

How do I get back to where I was a year ago? Where thoughts of paranoia didn't even exist and the world was such a different place?

[Little Lulu]

Hummingbird, I am sorry to hear about your pain but yes, there is hope. I had not always had anxiety either but I had a breakdown a number of years ago that started with intense, persistent anxiety like you are describing. Just like you, I remember desperately wanting things to go back to where they were 'before' the anxiety started.

It took time and effort but I am much better now than I was back then. It is good that you are still out in the world, doing things you always do like riding the bus and going to school even though it is difficult. I took some time off work when I was at my worst but I went back even though I was not comfortable (that is an understatement).

Keep talking about it and keep coming back.

[Kaboodle]

I also have the tightness in my chest 24/7 that goes up into my throat and jaws. I always feel like I'm on the verge of tears. I'm like that on the inside and normal on the outside. I'ts like I'm two different people. It's a psychological trauma 2 yrs ago that got me here. Like you, I'd love to be normal again!

This afternoon is my first therapy appointment. I am dreading it but at the same time looking forward to it. I've put it off for a looooong time thinking it'll all just go away. I keep rehearsing in my head what I'm going to say, taking lots of tissues, and hoping for the best.

[Hummingbird99]

Thanks for replying

I can definitely relate to you in so many ways. Having one breakdown and becoming anxious ever since is really stressful. The tightness in the chest, accompanied with more stress and anxiety can be too much to handle. And worst of all, it hurts when you remember how anxiety-free you used to be, wishing you could get back there.

I think therapy will be good for you. I've noticed that any time I do something psychiatric in nature, it reminds me that this is an illness and that I'll have to work to get better. Best of luck