[louise22]

Just wondering if anyone else gets social anxiety AFTER meeting ppl? I spend hours or days sometimes after a gathering dissecting all I said and did, how others responded, how it responded, what I did or said that was "wrong". It's so exhausting I have very little energy left to meet anyone again for a good while again

[FrayedEnds]

absolutely. it's a lot better now because I use all kinds of distraction techniques to 'change the subject'. It gets easier the more you do it. Do distractions work for you?

[livelovelearn1986]

I do the same. Even in the moment I still overthink everything and kick myself for mistakes I perceive I made or analyze everything that was said

Live Love Learn

[Switch]

OMG yes! all the time. I have to try really hard to stop myself and say that I'm perceiving things differently than they happened. I'll think back and go "omg they totally hate me" or "they think i'm so dumb because I said this". ext

[louise22]

Originally Posted by FrayedEnds

absolutely. it's a lot better now because I use all kinds of distraction techniques to 'change the subject'. It gets easier the more you do it. Do distractions work for you?

What do you mean by distractions? I try be rational I suppose and try to remember if others don't like me then it's not personal, it's their own difficulties......but deep down I find it hard to believe! And so much hard work!! I do notice the busier I am or as time passes I relax.....but usually then I find something else to worry about!!

[FrayedEnds]

by distractions I mean anything you enjoy doing that'll take your mind off the constant thoughts you're having. when I'm stuck ruminating or obsessing about something I'm able to distract those thoughts by doing something that takes my mind off it. anything you enjoy that keep your brain busy. for me it's blasting music, exercise, art, video games or anything else that's fun and interesting to me.
hope it helps

[Heather11]

Same with me. I dissect conversations for days. It's exhausting and annoying to myself. The best I've been able to do is just tell myself to snap out of it, what's said and done is past and try and do better the next time. It's a struggle

[IndieVisible]

Same here but I remember I can also pick out dozens of stuff they did wrong too. And you have to wonder if they are pondering what they said?

Social anxiety and I do have both SAD and GAD, in my personal experience it was easier for me to get SAD under control with meds and coping skills. GAD is another story. It's still very much work in progress.

Back to the replaying events in your mind. That's normal. Examining it with a magnifying glass is not. We all say and do stupid things and we all make mistakes. The only difference is some beat themselves up over it and others don't care as much. I've often used humor as a tool to cope. If you can laugh at yourself it takes the sting away from it. Look we all make mistakes and have a lot of faults. So why are you beating yourself up? Just ask yourself that next time.

Best of luck to you!

I tend to be the same way with most people sometimes. I try not to worry to much about what other people might have thought about me anymore since it might not have much to do with me at all and more with them.

I agree with what Frayed says, distracting oneself always helps. At least it helps me relax and not worry about anything for awhile. I just use what I call "cheap" or sometimes not so cheap "therapy" by listening to music, going out to eat, going to a movie, watching tv, shopping, reading, taking naps, etc...

Usually it helps to ask people questions instead of talking about myself. That way I don't have to worry about being judged to much. Some people might think, wow, she's nosy, but most people tend to love talking about themselves, so that always works.

Here's a little trick...take an extra pill for whatever anxiety meds that you're on when you're extra anxious around certain people or situations. I don't take my meds everyday so that I don't build up a tolerance to them. I always have extra for what I call "emergencies".

[FrayedEnds]

so stealing that! cheap therapy!!! Thanks Shy

[marvelousbedlam]

Happens to me all the time. I even start over analyzing it while im still talking to the person or randomly months later.

[Harmacy]

Yes I totally do this.

Even if I send someone a text, I'll go back and re-read what I've written and focus more on that than their reply.

I know I should do the opposite and focus more on what others say but I can't help feeling I've said something stupid or ridiculous and that people must think I'm socially inept. That belief is what drives and feeds my Social Anxiety.

[Ashley's Mom]

I am SO GLAD I am not alone on this issue! Good advice!

[tinkabell]

I definitely do this too much, it eats my brain away as I compair and contemplate for hours days or when I see maybe that person next.

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[KC Steely]

I too have serious problems in this area and most of what everyone has posted here, is something I can identify with for sure, analyzing conversations and texts, for instance. It's really had a negative impact concerning my ability to maintain friendships and even relationships with family members. My goal will be to see if "distractions" work for the situations I find myself in all too often.

[lifelies]

I'm horribly afraid of people.
They are always judging me and saying things about me.
When I go to the street and I'm alone they always start saying my name and I just want to hide and go away.
I know how it feels and I'm really desesperate because I don't want this anymore I just want to be treated like a normal person. I don't know whats wrong with me, why do they laugh at me, I'm not ugly or anything
Chris

[propliopithecus]

You can also try to think about it once very carefully and then stop thinking about it, for example by writing it down. This also takes a lot of time, but it is probably more satisfying than ruminating.
I have done it for some time when I couldn’t get distracting thoughts away during my study.
My mind was at least clearer afterwards, but my main distraction was probably imaginary conversation.