[warich]

Hello my name is Whitnee and I believe I suffer from some sort of anxiety or depression disorder. It all started when I was eight years old at my grandmothers house. I remember watching a movie that involved death in it and remember that suddenly being paralyzed with a intense fear of dying and then I felt I could not breathe. I began gasping for air and crying out and pacing around the house trying to catch my breath. It has been that way since and I am now 23. It comes back every once in awhile and nothing causes it. Right now It is back at full force. All i do is cry and worry. I feel like it ruins my friendships and relationships because I get these intense feelings of losing people i love and am afraid they are going to die or Im going to die. I recently just had a rough break up with my ex boyfriend. I was always worried in the relationship and feel like that is one reason why he left me. s****de has came to my mind many and many of times. I feel like it would be the only escape from this hell in my head. I can't not afford to see a doctor and have tried some therapy. I no longer take care of my self and feel like the light of my life has burnt out somehow. I so desperately want help. I actually have begged for help before. I feel no one understands. I want lasting relationships and a happy life. I do not want anymore sadness or s*****al thoughts. Any advice or anyone with a similar experience? Any advice on treatment or help? I need it very badly!

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[moralfe]

I am sorry you are going through this. I have panic and it makes me think I am going to die. For months all I thought about was dying. It takes a toll mentally and physically. You need to find a way to occupy your mind with things other than your swirling thoughts. It is not easy to break the cycle but every time you have a worrysom thought instead of allowing it to consume you do something you like. Read a book, play a game, clean. Do something that will occupy your mind. The more you do it the less the thought will consume you. Also when you get frightening thoughts dissect it. For instance if you get the thought that you are going to die, before you freak out think of how your mind came to that conclusion. Say I am not going to die there is no reason for it. Contest the thought with a question of what evidence do you have to come to that convlusion. You have to figure out your triggers. Once you get them you can start to remove the emotion attached to it which is what causes the thoughts. You need to retrain your brain. If you can get some CBT therapy it will really help you. It helped me so much in 4 months. I went from thinking and feeling I am going to die and completely turned me around. I am not saying I am cured but I am 1000000 times better. Hope you get through this and think happy thoughts.

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[benson123]

I think the "S" word comes into mind because it feels like it is the only permanent solution. I admit I think about it too. My best killed himself almost 7 years ago and I think of the hurt I felt then and it keeps me from seriously doing anything. My anxiety come in waves but it us always there. A couple pieces of advice friends have given me over the years are 1) think of all the good things in your life even simple things 2) if it is out of your control do not stress over it 3) keep a journal and actually write things down...remember you are not the only one with these kinds of stresses...keeping that in mind helps me sometimes.

[SeekerOfLife]

Whitnee, anxiety is very hard to live with. I have had it for many years. I do not know how bad yours is. Most of the time mine is moderate, though i have had some pretty frightening times. Please take care of yourself. This is very important. Keeping a journal is very helpful. I highly reccommend it. When I have a panic attack, I feel like sort of suffocating. I go sit in front of the fan, and have air blow in my face. It has helped me so much, that I automatically do it when I am at home. Also, later I added reading while the fan blows in my face (to distract me.) Hope this helps.

[xXxBellexXx]

Whitnee, I totally agree with Seekersinking... Im 26 and have suffered with Anxiety for around 5 years.... My one and hopefully a good piece of advise for you, is to write it down and I dont actually mean in diary form, I mean one thought on one scrap bit of paper.... Everytime I struggle with my Anxiety (Which feels like a daily thing now) I grab a piece of paper, write down the problem that is causing my panic, sit for a few minutes studying it (Trying to somehow come up with a solution) and then I go outside and set the piece of paper alight! It seems like a release and more times than not that has worked for me. Hope this helps