[fletch]

Hi! This is my first post and I just wanted to introduce myself and see if you all could help me out. I'm Fletch(one of my all time favorite movie characters).
What I am hoping you can help me with is pushing me to see a therapist/doctor/professional. I've done my internet research and am fairly convinced that I have a nice little case of social phobia. It's affected my social life for some time now. I haven't even so much as sniffed a relationship in years and when presented with the opportunity to make new friends I tend to find the exit door pretty fast.
I've been able to live with this(though I don't think I should be accepting it so easily) What really scares me now is the way it affects my performance at work. At work I have to maintain relationships with client companies. I can accomplish this 99.9% of the time with email. But when one of my bosses tells me I need to call a client and take care of an issue immediately it tends to go like this: 1.go outside and smoke a cigarette 2. talk to the girl in the cube next to me for a little while 3. do a few laps around the office 4. sit and wait for the people in the cubes around me to leave so that no one will hear me. Sometimes I even wait until after business hours knowing that everyone will be gone and I'll likely get a voicemail where I can leave a message. I know I'm being ridiculous but I do it anyway. I have to stop this because eventually I will lose my job. This is just one example of things that have been going on lately.
Sorry for such along message. Please push me to go talk to someone. It's not going to be easy for me and I need a little push to get started. Thanks and I hope you all had a great turkey day.

Sorry Fletch we can't push you into anything here. Here at psych central everyone is in control of their own decisions. We can tell you what our OWN experiences are with entering and going through therapy though.

Hang in there

[fletch]

Very true. I know that I need to reach inside and push myself to take on these issues. Thanks.
How about this question then. How should I choose a therapist? When I browse the directory of mental health professionals online there are hundreds. What are the pros and cons of psychiatrist v licensed counselor? What have your experiences been? Thanks again in advance!

now those questions I can do -

I personally like seeing a state board certified and or licenced therapist. Psychiatrists for the most part focus on medication needs and my family physician prescribes my medication needs no matter what medications that I may need.

So I personally don't need a psychiatrist but do need a therapist who will help me learn coping skills and listen to me and let me vent if needed.

How did I find the therapist I have now LL?. I was assigned to her. SKR My past therapist and I decided it was time to end our therapy together and remain freinds instead of the both of us trying to manage the keeping me on track, going to battle against a DHS caseworker that was breaching federal laws on my DHS case and was sending SKR to the ethics board on all kinds of bogus charges anything from seeing me too much to seeing me not enough to having inappropiate relations and so forth, anything that would interfere with SKR's abilitys to help me and our therapy time together, and also the therapy agency due to welkfare reform was doing layoffs of any and all therapists that had not been with the therapy agency for 5 year. SKR got the ax, and got permission to keep me on as a client since her plans was to open a private practice but in her personal life besides trying to locate a job she had a death in the family. So money meant for the lisencure and so on for the private practice went instead to traveling out of state every two weeks.

With all this stacked against our therapy time together we decided to complete this states ethics law that would enable the two of us to have a friendship and choose a new therapist. We had three choices picked one with the therapy agency I was with and two with another agency. I allowed SKR to do that part of the choosing because her and I had been together for three years so she knew what I needed in a therapist. After she made the three choices we started the interviewing of those therapists by going to the therapy agency where SKR had worked and got laid off from and reopened my file and put in for our request for our choice with this agency. The plan was for SKR and I to attend a few sessions together and then decide if this person was right for me. Well that fell through because our choice already had a full caseload so the supervisor vetoed our choice. When I heard about that falling through I was in the frame of mind that you know what regardless of who I see I am not going to like them just because SKR and I had been together for three years and were used to how we did things. So I was more interested in getting the ethics time frame that would allow SKR and I to remain friends over with. I told SKR Just pick someone and she and I will go see them. SKR, the intake person and the supervisor held some conversations and it was decided since I have DID my file would be handed over to the therapist in the agency that worked with Dissociatives and DID clients. SKR and I attended three sessions with LL together and after each one I told SKR I would stick with LL whether or not I liked her just to get this one year over with dispite the fact that I thought LL was a stiff with potential meaning she was stiff and formal but I couldn't tell if that was for show because SKR was with me and LL wanted to appear perfect or what. But she may later on down the road get rid of the formal stiff side. L have been with LL now for almost three years now and I think she is one of the best therapists around here.

How did I locate other therapists - by opening the phone book and calling rape crisis centers, marriage and family counseling agencies , domestic violoence, planned parent hood and so on and sometimes my friends would point me to someone.

Soemtimes that therapist turned out to be the right match and sometimes that therapist is not the right match for me and in LL's case I definately did not consider her a match for me. She was more or less a formaility that I had to see through for one year in order for SKR and I to have a friendship. But over time of both LL and I working together to make our time ti=ogether fit what I needed and took time to get to know each other and so on we ended up being a perfect therapy team.

[fletch]

Thank you so much for sharing with me. I also looked around a little more and found this article on the site: http://psychcentral.com/therapst.htm which was really helpful. Now I just have to clear this hurdle and start calling around! It's a funny little catch-22.

That it is.
hang in there

Good for you for wanting to better yourself! Therapy can help with all kinds of self-awareness and moving forward. I think it is great that you have decided to get some help to achieve the goals you want to achieve!

You are very articulate and describe well what is going on and how you deal with it and/or avoid what it is you fear. You are way ahead of many on that score!

You are on your way to a better life!

ECHOES

[Boopers]

I am so glad that you see what your problem is and want to change it. I really feel you will be successful at conquering your fears of relating to people.
I wish you tons of luck.
Linda