[hartford19]

So, I have been doing a lot of research and some soal searching and I am convinced that I have Pure O of OCD. So, I have diagnosed myself. My husband is sceptical on whether or not I can figure out my problem by myself. Rest assured, I am getting a psych evaluation the 27th and have been seeing a councelor. She is the one who said I need a psych eval. Are there any other Pure 0's out there? Has anyone been able to figure out why they are so different on their own. It just seems to make sense... I keep getting these disturbing images in my head and the more I want to stop thinking about them, the more I do. They are so disturbing! I don't do any repettitive things... it's all in my mind. I really related to what I read about Pure O and finally felt like I wasn't alone. It's a load off to know that others are going through it too. Please talk with me.

[Boopers]

Hi Hartford,

Even though I can't help you, I wanted to let you know that I care and hope you can find out your problem soon.

Take care,
Linda

[polkadotpixie]

Hi Hartford

Although I was diagnosed with OCD, I think I know what you mean.

I have always pretty much been in control of any compusions. They are mild...I can see they are part of a disorder and am lucky enough to be able to not be consumed by them

Obsessions are a totally different ball game for me, my head sometimes feels like its going to explode because of them, once one gets a grip on me I can't see a way out of it, I have no control over the thoughts that rush through my head at 1 million miles an hour or my actions with regards to finding out the truth about whatever I'm thinking about and is sending me crazy at that time.

I am definatley far far more obsessive than compulsive but still got diagnosed with OCD. I was only 15 at the time though and haven't had therapy for years now so I don't know if the diagnosis would still be the same

I hope that makes sense, good luck with your psych evaluation and I hope you get the help you need!

Let me know how you get on

[mrsdodge]

Hey Hartford,
I can kinda relate to what you're going through. I haven't been diagnosed but am sure I have it. For years, everything had to be in even numbers. Then as I've gotten older, I have such a huge fear of something bad happening to myself, family, friends, and my dog (who is like a child since we aren't able to concieve). I get these flashes in my head of something just terrible happening and it literally freaks me out. Like you, I try my HARDEST not to think of this stuff but I can't stop. It almost feels like someone has taken control over my thoughts. I had a breakdown last night with my husband. I cried my eyes out because I feel like I have no control over anything now. I have an appointment this Friday so I'm hoping to get this in order. I hate it that someone else has this but like you said, it is a relief to know there are others who can relate.

[hartford19]

Thanks for sharing. I understand what you are going through. I found it interesting that you had to have numbers even. I get a little more relaxed when I see my odometer in my car change 1000 miles or have a pattern like 12321 or so on. I never thought about that having anything to do with it but it does release some stress for me. Isn't it weird and kind of funny? I have to wait until the 27th before I see anyone next. It has been helping me to talk about it. I hope you get to feeling better soon. You are welcome to IM me anytime.

[lynnq]

Boy can I relate to you. I've been having unwanted thoughts for awhile, but it wasn't to about 10 days ago that they turned really disturbing. I didn't tell anyone for fear that they'd think badly of me that I'd act on the images in my mind. I know that I wouldn't, because the images are criminal and I know the difference between right and wrong. Yet the thoughts and images persist, what's going on? The problem is that I sometimes think the thoughts are being inserted into my head against my will. <font color="green"> </font>

[Perna]

There's a screening quiz right here:

http://psychcentral.com/ocdquiz.htm

I think obsessive thinking is a kind of "compulsion" (or you wouldn't do it obsessively) is why they're together. Thinking is an act and can have compulsive elements in and of itself. "I keep getting these disturbing images in my head and the more I want to stop thinking about them, the more I do." -- that's a very good definition of a compulsion.

I'm glad you're seeing a counselor and getting an evaluation. No reason at all you can't help yourself. Good luck! We can only think one thing at a time (there's really no such thing as "multi" tasking, it's actually sequential tasking, one thing at a time in a row :-) so you can keep taking your thoughts off obsessive ones to other ones you choose. It's hard work but eventually the obsessing should "give up" and relax itself so it's not so hard. One thing that helps me is remembering what "jingle" experts say about how to get rid of a repetitive song/music in your head; you either have to do the whole song to completion, giving "closure" or replace it with a different one (which, hopefully, won't get stuck too).

[sup_sarah]

so this is my first post on this site and talking to even anybody at all about this. I've looked over everything and now I'm completely positive i have OCD too. I thought I had it for awhile but I wasn't sure, but after researching about it I know I do. I do the rituals and all that stuff. The numbers thing is the one that reeally bothers me though. Through my whole classes I'll just stare at the clock and figure out number stuff. Mines different than alot of peoples though, I don't mind all uneven numbers, I just look for 6 or multiples of 6, or 19. I know, it's really weird but those were my soccer numbers. Ever since I hurt my knee really bad a couple years ago & had to give up soccer my OCD has just escalated a whole bunch. At first I just thought it was all a game. But now I understand it's definetly not and it's taking control of me. It's nice to finally have somebody to relate to though. I wanna see a therapist about it but I'm just not ready to talk to my family about it. But the OCD keeps getting worse and my anxiety is horrible and I get headaches alot now from it. What to do?

[hartford19]

Welcome Sup_sarah. You are not alone and I know how scary and embarrassing this can be. You sound young and I assume you are still under your parents' medical plans/ involvement? If so, I can understand why it makes it even harder. I have been married a few years now and am so thankful that I can get the treatment I need without my parents knowing anything. I know they wouldn't understand which wouldn't be helpful to me. DO you know if therapy or mental health appointments are covered by your insurance? Could you make an excuse to why you want to talk to a professional? Say stress with school or something... whatever you think would get you the help without your parents being more involved than you are comfortable with. I think talking to a professional will help out a lot. I am still waiting for my psych evaluation and therefore treatment but I already feel better knowing that I am not crazy and that I will be better soon. My councellor described it as this... the more you keep it to yourself, the worse it will get. Not that you have to tell the world, but tell someone you can trust. I hope this helps and you can talk to me anytime.

[mrsdodge]

When is your first appointment hartford? Mine is set up for Tuesday afternoon. I basically broke down with my doctor and told him everything. He gave me xanax for the anxiety but said he didn't feel comfortable writing a script for something that needs to be worked out. He said it does sound like OCD and needs to be treated asap. Let me know how your appointment goes and I'll do the same.

Sarah, have you thought about a school counselor? It would be confidential. Maybe he/she could help you out some.

[sup_sarah]

thanks for the advice and yes, I'm only 16. I don't know what I'm going to do yet but talking to people on this site helps. Hopefully I'll get everything figured out somehow.

[(JD)]

I think OCD is an anxiety disorder, so that follows what you say you feel. While you might not have a T to talk with right now, you can begin to work on these horrible feelings on your own.

Patterns that created or added to OCD don't work out quickly, but can be managed so they don't overwhelm you IRL. Try correcting your thoughts when you find the anxiety rising. Counter what you think with what you really know to be true.

You mention soccer and the injury... I think that might be a good place to begin when you are ready to work on things.

I do hope you will talk with your school counselor. The sooner you begin on this, the less time you will be creating bad habits about it. TC!

[hartford19]

I have an appointment with my cousellor tomorrow (Monday) morning. I am really tired of talking about the OCD stuff with her when I know better help is on the way. I have a psych evaluation with a different lady tomorrow evening. I'm trying not to think of it much because I am nurvous on what we will discover about me and what sideaffects the meds will have. I can't gain weight or loose my sex drive. My hubby and I are struggling enough as is to connect. Anyway, hopefully I will be feeling better tomorrow night. I have had a lot of time to sit on this realizing I need help and actually getting it. I haven't struggled with the same images/thoughts as before but have replaced them with others. It is so weird. It's like my mind knows I'm wise to it and is trying to slip new stuff in. Something to talk about tomorrow I suppose.

[mrsdodge]

If you're like me, you just look at food and gain weight.. and my sex drive is non-exisistant. I don't know if it's because of the ocd or where I have female problems but that's something I'll discuss with the doctor tomorrow. Hope your appointment today went well. Be sure to update us.

[hartford19]

Well, I went to see my councelor yesterday and we discussed being prepared for this psych eval. I was anxious about it but ready to get help and answers. When I got home, my hubby said the pdoc had called and had to cancel my appointment b/c of an emergency. Ugh! I rescheduled for two weeks from now. This will be a good month between my coucellor saying I need more advanced help now and me actually getting it. It frustrates me... like no one realizes that my life is kind of on hold until I get some help. Now I have to go through all the anxiety and worry again as my new date comes closer. I just want it all behind me and to be healthy.