[retrograde signal]

How does one ask for psych help when getting help hits all of my biggest triggers for setting off a panic attack?

My triggers:

Talking to new people.
Talking to anybody on the phone.
Being in places I have never been, and the whole process of finding them. (Doctor's Office)
Calling customer service. (Insurance Company)
Asking for help.

These are literally my biggest triggers. How do call to get help if I feel like breaking down just at the thought of calling a doctor?

I have had my wife call for me but they still wanted to talk to me. Which I couldn't do.

I have looked for a way to do it by email, but none of the places said that they would.

What do?

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

I know this sucks, but there's no way around it. I had/have a similar problem, but ultimately, you HAVE to cross that first big hurdle - they can help you. It's not like you're jumping straight into the deep end, all on your own, you'd be going to see trained professionals. For me, I started off contacting an organisation online, who then got in touch with someone who actually did a home visit, to assess me; he was quite confident I was (basically a mess) and then directed me to another company, and put in a good word for me. A few months later, I saw a very good, highly qualified psychologist, and a few months after that, I started CBT with her. See if you can get a home visit; it really helps, even if it's not a constant thing, it still helps for that initial scare of it all. If it's any consolation, you're not wanting help so you can make friends and follow all those daunting social protocols with these professionals, ... you're there so they can do their job, in order to help you. Luckily, you have a wife, who I imagine can support you with going to see these people, and what-not.

[retrograde signal]

Originally Posted by Zwangsstörung

I know this sucks, but there's no way around it. I had/have a similar problem, but ultimately, you HAVE to cross that first big hurdle - they can help you. It's not like you're jumping straight into the deep end, all on your own, you'd be going to see trained professionals.

I apologize if this sounds whiny, but I wouldn't care if it was Freud himself. Talking to strangers still terrifies me enough to near throw up. I want to minimize the amount of time I spend being panicked and terrified. I'd love to just send an email, but of the places my wife called nobody would do it. It's 2014... ಠ_ಠ

Originally Posted by Zwangsstörung

For me, I started off contacting an organisation online, who then got in touch with someone who actually did a home visit, to assess me; he was quite confident I was (basically a mess) and then directed me to another company, and put in a good word for me. A few months later, I saw a very good, highly qualified psychologist,

Wow that sounds like too many new people to be dealing with. I'd be giving up at any one of those points. I'm glad you could do it.

Originally Posted by Zwangsstörung

See if you can get a home visit; it really helps, even if it's not a constant thing, it still helps for that initial scare of it all.

A home visit is next level scary, no way I'd want them in my house. I haven't answered the door for people that I've had appointments with for things like plumbing before.

Originally Posted by Zwangsstörung

If it's any consolation, you're not wanting help so you can make friends and follow all those daunting social protocols with these professionals, ... you're there so they can do their job, in order to help you. Luckily, you have a wife, who I imagine can support you with going to see these people, and what-not.

Thank you, but it's not. I'd be happy to go on being alone with just my wife and I and never talking to a doctor. But I have other problems that I want help with (no focus, no drive, depression, paranoia, etc) so I need them. I'm not going specifically for social anxiety, I'm going for a whole host of other issues. The social isolation is by choice, and I just think it's grown into anxiety, which again I'm not worried about.

What I'll probably have to do is self medicate (don't know board rules about this so I won't be specific) before talking on the phone and in person. I doubt that would help me going forward with the doc, but at this point I see no other way.

[twister744]

Originally Posted by retrograde signal

I apologize if this sounds whiny, but I wouldn't care if it was Freud himself. Talking to strangers still terrifies me enough to near throw up. I want to minimize the amount of time I spend being panicked and terrified. I'd love to just send an email, but of the places my wife called nobody would do it. It's 2014... ಠ_ಠ


Wow that sounds like too many new people to be dealing with. I'd be giving up at any one of those points. I'm glad you could do it.


A home visit is next level scary, no way I'd want them in my house. I haven't answered the door for people that I've had appointments with for things like plumbing before.


Thank you, but it's not. I'd be happy to go on being alone with just my wife and I and never talking to a doctor. But I have other problems that I want help with (no focus, no drive, depression, paranoia, etc) so I need them. I'm not going specifically for social anxiety, I'm going for a whole host of other issues. The social isolation is by choice, and I just think it's grown into anxiety, which again I'm not worried about.

What I'll probably have to do is self medicate (don't know board rules about this so I won't be specific) before talking on the phone and in person. I doubt that would help me going forward with the doc, but at this point I see no other way.

Look for another place. There are tons of therapists. You should be able to find one that would let your wife make the appointment for you. I have even seen places that will do online skype sessions. Keep looking. Even if it's bit of a drive. This site I put a link to below gives many individual therapists and they put their price range and what insurance they take. With my insurance you can look up the mental health coverage online. Maybe you can find it online or have your wife call. Your wife could do the first call and ask if they could do an skype session if that is less stressful for you. Maybe your wife could drive you to the first appointment and wait with you? Would that help? I found a lady once who was also a college professor. She would have been fine with someone else calling and setting the appointment up for me and she never asked on the phone what it was for. I went to her office. No reception area. Just showed up and knocked on the door. It was very laid back. She even had a sliding scale. It was very affordable. Just gave her cash, never even went through insurance. I found here on this website. http://therapists.psychologytoday.co...rof_search.php

Just choose by price and have your wife call a bunch of them.

I'd definitely reach out to your wife for as much support and help with this as possible. Make sure she knows that once you've got a person set up for regular appointments and have established a relationship with them your social anxiety will improve and you will be able to handle it without her help.

[retrograde signal]

Originally Posted by twister744

Look for another place. There are tons of therapists. You should be able to find one that would let your wife make the appointment for you. I have even seen places that will do online skype sessions. Keep looking. Even if it's bit of a drive. This site I put a link to below gives many individual therapists and they put their price range and what insurance they take. With my insurance you can look up the mental health coverage online. Maybe you can find it online or have your wife call. Your wife could do the first call and ask if they could do an skype session if that is less stressful for you. Maybe your wife could drive you to the first appointment and wait with you? Would that help? I found a lady once who was also a college professor. She would have been fine with someone else calling and setting the appointment up for me and she never asked on the phone what it was for. I went to her office. No reception area. Just showed up and knocked on the door. It was very laid back. She even had a sliding scale. It was very affordable. Just gave her cash, never even went through insurance. I found here on this website.

Just choose by price and have your wife call a bunch of them.

I'd definitely reach out to your wife for as much support and help with this as possible. Make sure she knows that once you've got a person set up for regular appointments and have established a relationship with them your social anxiety will improve and you will be able to handle it without her help.

This was all good advice and thank you.

I have been looking via the in-network doctors for my health insurance. We haven't really called a ton of them, but the ones who actually called back (This I found to be a pretty big problem, leaving a voice mail and not being called back) still did want to speak to me. My wife even called them back to ask if there was a way to do it without speaking to me and they said they still needed to. She called me and I tried all that day to call and couldn't bring myself to. Broke down twice with the phone ready to hit send. I just couldn't do it.

I guess we'll have to keep calling places.

[twister744]

Originally Posted by retrograde signal

This was all good advice and thank you.

I have been looking via the in-network doctors for my health insurance. We haven't really called a ton of them, but the ones who actually called back (This I found to be a pretty big problem, leaving a voice mail and not being called back) still did want to speak to me. My wife even called them back to ask if there was a way to do it without speaking to me and they said they still needed to. She called me and I tried all that day to call and couldn't bring myself to. Broke down twice with the phone ready to hit send. I just couldn't do it.

I guess we'll have to keep calling places.

Just keep calling. Keep positive. The right one will come along. Have you ever tried meditation? It has helped me tremendously. Much more than a counselor ever has. There are a lot of good books on meditation and Buddhist tradition and I find it extremely helpful for anxiety. I could recommend you some easy to read books that have some philosophies and practices in them that really help with anxiety. I have recently had a lot more problems with severe panic attacks coming out of no where. I have already known basic meditation techniques for a while but I've been taking it more seriously as it seems to be the only thing that stops my panic attacks before they get bad. When I feel it coming on and myself panicking, if I can just lay down or sit down and start doing rhythmic deep breathing techniques it completely stops my panic attack and afterwards I feel even better. I can quickly get to a state where all the thoughts in my head stop and I just feel great and calm and like bliss or something. I had a lot of people recommending meditation to me for a while and I just never wanted to take the time to practice it. I get bored easily and am ADHD so sitting still focusing on breathing and trying to stop the thoughts in my head and just be was not something I wanted to do everyday. Everyone said that just like everything else you've gotta practice it but you can learn it and it does get easier. Once the panic attacks started to give me so many scary physical symptoms I found myself clinging to meditation cause it was all I had in the moment and found that when you want to and practice it you can learn to return to that state very quickly. I am now choosing to meditate even when I'm not having a panic attack and I'm finding it very helpful and a great tool to have.

I also stress a lot about phone calls. I will avoid calls that I know will help me for months. Do you think it would be more helpful if your wife made the call and explained your social anxiety a little and then gave the phone to you? I find that making the initial call is the hardest so maybe if she made the call, started talking to them and then gave you the phone it would be easier or at least harder for you to avoid.

Another thing I try to do is focus on the outcome. Think about how good you will feel when the call is finally over and the appointment is set up. Or after the first appointment or after a few. Especially think about how good it will feel to finally find someone you trust to talk to about your issues and how good it will feel once you've been there a few times and know how to get there and the whole procedure and everything. Just focus on how it will feel once everything is set up and make a list of what needs to be done and just do it and get it over with. You've gotta make yourself uncomfortable in order to grow. The more you avoid something the more the anxiety will build.

[Fuzzybear]