[expelledangel]

I really wish I knew what exactly is wrong with me, but after reading about tons of different disorders, I still can't put my finger on it. Part of me would love to believe that I am normal and just have odd preferences and habits, but then there's a part that says "something's not right with you!"

When I was young, I was a normal, happy kid. I was shy but still had tons of friends. As I get older, it seems I am turning more and more inward. And feeling more and more isolated from people. I do not have a single friend. I have a lot of acquaintances (kids at my college) but no real friends. I spend too much time at home, alone in my room. I go on my computer and watch lots of tv. But I know this is unhealthy. I would love to go out more, it's just that I have nowhere to go. I get nervous when I'm around people, but only when it's in designated social settings. Like school, or a party, or places like that --places where you are SUPPOSED to be social. I am totally fine when I am out and about running errands or shopping or whatever.

I wish I could take away my social awkwardness. I feel like if I wasn't socially awkward, I wouldn't be depressed. I wouldn't be feeling this painfully lonely. Being the way that I am makes me feel hopeless and worthless.

I can't afford counseling or therapy. So any other options?? I just need help so bad. I am scared that if I don't do something about this now, my mental state will get worse and worse.

[Verity81]

I'm not a doctor so I can't diagnose but you sound shy and introverted and have some social anxiety.

By any chance could you be a HSP (highly sensitive person?) this isn't a disorder just a set of traits.

Self Test

Take a look at the website.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

It might be worth looking for any charitable organisations that set up social events; we have some of that good stuff in England, so with any luck, you're in England. Check up Mind and Talking Space. If you're on the NHS, you shouldn't have to pay for a counselor, or psychologist. Get in touch with your GP, and explain what's going on. You're not alone.