I'm such a mess right now, my heart is beating faster than it should, I'm barely taking in any air because my breaths are so shallow. I'm so ready to give up everything. Nobody is willing to give me a small break so I can regroup and try to organize my life into some order. I really don't know where to go, what to do. If it weren't for Bugsy it would have been an easy out, or so I think. Why can't someone give me just a little break. I'm not asking for money, I'm just asking for a little bit of time to put everything back in order. How am I supposed to continue if I don't even have a few days, a week or two to get my act together. I ate half a batch of brownies and had pasta for dinner and I still feel like crap. I'm watching happy movies and nothing. If this doesn't work out I don't know what I'll do.
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Nikki in CO
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