Recently i have been thinking about how stupid life is and how pointless it is and how they try and trick you into thinking that it is not pointless but it is, and that just makes you angry at the people who tried to trick you into thinking that it wasn't.

Then of course there is the anxiety which doesn't even make life pointless, which would be a 0, but it makes life less than pointless, it makes it an endurance.

it would be better to not have existed at this point. I'm not saying this in depression, just sick of the anxiety probably.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Illegal, I'm guessing that they are trying to convince you how much worth it life is from their perspective which maybe coming across to you as a little fake, shallow, naive (?). And sometimes it's only yourself who can convince you of how good things could be/are for you from your perspective.
It's probably hard for you to see that much past the anxiety right now? But if that could ease a bit, or even in the times it's a little for you less intense/overwhelming your life what do you see as important to you?
Maybe only a little thing (little in other people's views) will stand out to you, but then if you can gradually add another....then another...it's amazing how "little" things can add up to SO, SO much more and how much importance they really can have.
That's not to say that this needs to be where you draw the line though. Maybe you can think about other possibilities ahead of you too, and some small goals (meaningful to you) that you can start taking gradual steps towards. It may take time to move a bit more forward, it may take a lot of time to move a bit more forward, but having something in your "sights" whatever that is can help a lot.
But you know, maybe realistically you may need a bit of help with that. Whether that's with a counselor/therapist, CBT, medication whatevers right for you. But try to make sure you're pinning your meaning/purpose to where you are now and/or the road ahead, and take all the help you can get to make it more of a reality.
Best wishes
Alison

[Unrigged64072835]

Yes, constant anxiety has worn me down to where I would do anything to get relief from it. And life does seem worthless when I'm always keyed up. It's when I end up in the hospital because I'm so overwhelmed with it all that I just want to end it.

Now I recognize it as a crisis situation, and fall back on my safety plan--the same as I would do for depression. Call my therapist, call a crisis line, make an emergency appt with my psychiatrist to get my meds changed, etc.

Just my experience.

[Silent Void]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Recently i have been thinking about how stupid life is and how pointless it is and how they try and trick you into thinking that it is not pointless but it is, and that just makes you angry at the people who tried to trick you into thinking that it wasn't.

Then of course there is the anxiety which doesn't even make life pointless, which would be a 0, but it makes life less than pointless, it makes it an endurance.

it would be better to not have existed at this point. I'm not saying this in depression, just sick of the anxiety probably.

I second your feelings. Life is pointless.

[Melodic]

I would probably agree. While the meaning of life is non existent, it does make for some questioning as to why we have to suffer so much for absolutely nothing in the end. My anxiety can often be almost unbearable - almost every little thing causes it, especially when I have something good that I desperately do not want to lose.

And yet, sometimes the knowledge that life is pointless kind of dampens the anxiety temporarily. When you realise that nothing you do or that happens to you will actually matter in the end... Why worry? It's a fleeting solution.