Anxiety or panic..... (possible trigger)

I was kinda ignorant that there was a "technical" difference.

Anxiety may make you avoid something (I will not go to the mall because strangers make me uncomfortable).

Panic is being at the mall and HAVING to flee from it.

Today I was in a staff meeting (a weekly thing). The meetings are always uncomfortable for me, but I manage (with a lot of leg tremors). Today my new boss announced that he wants everyone in the group to come up with two or three things that they could give a half hour presentation to the group regarding their job.

FREAK OUT TIME.

I did not flee the meeting, but I could no longer think. Meeting end, I return to my desk. Grab my self harming tools and FLEE to the bathroom to "cope".

So is that panic or anxiety?

UM!! Anxiety.....panic....interlinked in the course of it? So both? Now, technicalities aside!! Friends, right??!!
This:

"FREAK OUT TIME.

I did not flee the meeting, but I could no longer think. Meeting end, I return to my desk. Grab my self harming tools and FLEE to the bathroom to "cope""

I do completely get how that must have thrown you into "NO!!". The enormity of having to do something like that with the way you've been feeling.....the pressure....the stress.....it all seeming so overwhelming. Maybe the "How....????"'s and I'm sure "Can't......"'s.
I could say in a situation like that another time, maybe try to think "I'm not being asked to do this now, I have time, I can break it down, I can think about it, I can work on a way to get through it" but I do get where you were coming from as well.

And I know this isn't going to be easy for you, so maybe see it less as you're "under the spotlight" and more as you're showing some people who are unfamiliar in what you do/what you've done/how you do it/your knowledge.
It's not about you having to prove yourself, it's about you telling them the facts.
Now half hour probably seems like forever to you, right? But throw them some (easy) questions in there too, to waste a bit of time/break it up. It's going to be an area you know about anyway, so you can talk a bit about their answers. Educate them!!
Even pick an aspect of your job and throw in some subheadings, meaning your just going to be talking about a few topics/headings for what (?) seven minutes (?) each. A bit of structure and not quite so endless??
You know, our friend google can probably do a bit of the work for you too when preparing it, in giving you some information if your mind is going a bit blank.
And you're going to have practiced before you do it, so you know what's coming up.
And this isn't going to be in a "room full" of people remember, because you're going to be focusing on those that are coming across as more receptive a fair bit of the time, if you feel like focusing on anyone.
This is yours to do whatever you want with though, you can make it yours, you can make it unique (just like the U in your name !!). Anything at all you feel like throwing in (within reason!! )
And keep in the back of your mind someone whose had faith in you, someone whose made you feel confident or had confidence in you and try to feed off that.
Because you have done things you didn't think you could before, there is more to you than you give yourself credit for!!!
And..........I've gone on enough haven't I?!!
So:
And:
Alison

Alison,
I thank you for the advice. I just may have to print out your response and use it as a guide.

I used to become so anxious and panicked about talking in front of people. I knew I had to get over it so I threw myself into it.

One thing that helped me through was knowing I had information my audience didn't, but would be beneficial for them to know.