[kracker]

Anxiety and past abuse issues.

I have anxiety and worrisome thoughts if someone doesn't respond to an email. I don't mean within the day more like several days. For a month and half communicating long distance with a male only through email. Were acquaintances (never met, met online) but not best friends. He's quite understanding, kind, non pressuring etc. He knows some of my past. Almost lets me be the one to initiate communication.

Our communication has been one time a week with me being the one to do the majority. He responds between 80-100 percent of my emails within 1-2 days. Only once he didn't respond for 4 days, he was away.

Around 18 days ago I was having an anxiety filled day. I sent him a brief email (not about anxiety) and he replied. Suddenly worrisome thoughts came into my mind.. maybe he doesn't want to correspond anymore, what happens if he doesn't?.. I shot off an email saying if he should ever wish to stop communicating please tell me. I would like to keep emailing but not sure if you feel the same? He responded the info you share is helpful, there is no reason why you should feel hesitant, I will always listen carefully. I kept rereading that email 20-30 times looking for negative.. no don't email me etc. I actually felt bad I asked such a thing and told him I was feeling anxious and maybe came across as uncertain. Nothing. I let 7 days go by (anxious thoughts). Worried I may have offended by asking. I finally sent an email with no mention of the above. He responded the next day. I felt very relieved. Another 12 days go by, I had nothing to email about. Then last week I sent an email and he hasn't responded. Where he works it's exam time or approaching and he's the head of his department, busy career. He could be very busy with work, sick, tragedy I don't know. But right away these worrisome thoughts... it's over, he's avoiding me.

How do you cope or manage?

I have seen a therapist once and my next apt is few weeks away. Busy, hard to get in earlier.

[bluekoi]

kracker, It might be a good idea to reach out to others, so that you have a larger support group. If one friend moves on (it happens for various reasons), you still have a group of friends to offer support.

Hopefully you will be able to see your therapist on a more regular basis.

And remember we are here to offer our support.