[Double]

I'm 24 and have grown up really shy around people. I don't really make friends.. not because i can't, but because I'm just so socially awkward, I don't put myself out there. I'm introverted and care too much about what other people think, I sometimes beat myself up over something stupid I might've said.

I recently started up a Facebook page, something I created and disabled 4 years ago. So many people use it these days (for various reasons), that it's slowly becoming a difficult thing to avoid. I'm hoping to keep my account open this time around, for hope that it may become a positive thing in the future.

Except, when i look over at other people's pages, I can't help but compare my empty life with theirs. I've got nothing to post in comparison to some, and what i do post, the audience is just not there for me.. feels like I'm talking to a wall, and it kinda hurts my feelings? My sister for example, is always taking these "selfies", and has a plethora of peeps! The sister i thought i once knew, is actually somebody i do not know at all..?

I'm friends with some family members, though I don't feel very close to them. I'm also friends with some people at my church.. though i do not go to church. Why do i feel like turning my back on Facebook, and why does my life feel so bloody insignificant? Where does a lonely person go to make friends, and where do they find others with similar interests?

[detachedangst]

Read Facebook with a filter. I have found that what people portray on there and their real life rarely match up.

[detachedangst]

Your first paragraph sounds just like me. You are not alone

[kaliope]

I am majorly introverted so I think facebook is a bit ridiculous. I have a niece who is constantly posting selfies and my sister has a running dialog of what she is doing every moment of the day and I question do these people not have a life? I just don't understand the purpose. but it was really cool on my birthday getting all the birthday wishes from long lost friends and relatives. it lasted all day. I only use facebook to post when I go on a vacation or repost pics of my grandkids. sometimes I will comment on my friends posts because they are addicted. but I so rarely look at it. maybe once a month or when I get a notice on my phone. but you could start that way. posting to your friends accounts. making comments on what others post. that is one way to be involved. take care

[elevatedsoul]

am i allowed to say this? i hate facebook

[Vossie42]

Very often, Facebook shows an airbrushed, photoshopped version of people's lives. People's lives may look great on FB, but they have problems like anyone else. You don't know what's wrong in their lives because they don't post about that. As for the number of friends some people have, I regard the collecting of friends on FB much the same as elementary school kids collecting valentines on Valentine's Day in school -- the more the better. It doesn't matter who the valentine is from.

FB is a fun way to keep in touch with people, but I don't take it seriously.

[Perna]

We get back reflections of ourselves. If we are interested in something, we are interested in it and it looks rosy. If we hate something, we hate it and don't have anything to do with it. If we are unsure of something, worried about something, that anxiety and unsureness comes back.

The best habit/trait I have tried to cultivate in myself is curiosity. Being genuinely curious about others gets us to forget ourselves and the other person is flattered and gives us some of themselves. Being curious about a subject, we learn. When I am anxious, depending on time of day (hate night time :-) I choose to ignore, investigate how I can "fix" or get curious about what is going on with myself. Ignoring only works for a little while before it comes back. If I can ignore well, I might get to sleep and the morning sun will keep it away until the next night :-) Some anxieties, like money fears, I can think of ways to learn more and work/get more experience so I don't have to be afraid, the problem is not unknown anymore but a known project I can work on. At night I can think of one or two actions I can take about a fear that will put me on the road to not needing that fear anymore.

Curiosity is longer term and more subtle, I have a history of anxiety and worries about being able to care for myself and my husband's and my ages are getting up there (my husband is 71 this year) and eventually he is going to die and I'll be both without him, the love of my life, and on my own and old, etc. Nowadays I read books written by widows, novels about losing lovers, texts on gerontology. The biggest difficulty I have is putting everything "together" and keeping a firm hand on my imagination (the root of all my worry/anxiety).

I have taken/take courses online and join online groups (like this one) and practice interacting with others and that spills over into my actual life so I treat it like I do my online interactions :-) This about it, you made this post, you are reading these replies, etc. Keep that up and keep living/trying things and slowly some things will get easier for you because of experience.

[ChildlikeEmpress]

I like FB pretty much only to keep up with what my family and old friends are doing -- I almost never post myself except to comment on someone else's update. I'm shy too, like you, and don't feel I have a very exciting life! I'm ok with that, though. I just like to see what my loved ones are up to and comment now and again, I don't sweat the rest.
It's ok to hate Facebook -- it's definitely not for everybody and I don't think there is anything at all wrong with not having a FB page!

[birdpumpkin]

I just can't seem to relate to my "friends" on facebook for some reason. My mom informed me just last week for the second time someone has complained to her that I always post stuff about my cats on there but nothing about my son, like that means I don't love my son because I put nothing about him on there. And the thing is, I haven't posted anything about my cats on there either!! My cousin complained last year, then I lost them all in our fire. She even unfriended me but strangely sent me another friend request after the fire. I have 2 new cats now that we're in our new home (on the same spot) - took in the stray that had been hanging around here for a couple years and took another one someone gave me. And I've put nothing at all about them on facebook, so I don't know why whoever this is is even complaining. I don't get on facebook much. Check in maybe every day or 2 and scroll through for 5 minutes or so. I talk to a friend I made in England via messages and check notifications. That's about all. I prefer Twitter a whole lot more and seem to have more success there.

[Hannahmo]

Just wanted to give you some kudos for starting up a facebook page again! That takes a lot of courage! Don't forget to reward yourself on that as well!!!

There's another good thread about Fb floating around here somewhere.

Yeah, it seems to me that most of my Fb friends have these enchanted lives, while my life is pretty rotten. Fb is weird. Frankly, I admire people who never got involved with it. I remember when I first joined, years ago - I had no concept of what I was getting into.And I can't help but wonder how long the Fb trend will last. I doubt it'll be forever...then where will all those friends go?

Here's the other Fb thread: http://forums.psychcentral.com/bipol...trates-me.html

Originally Posted by detachedangst

Read Facebook with a filter. I have found that what people portray on there and their real life rarely match up.

that is a good piece of advice, and very true

[LostInParadise92]

I know exactly how you feel, Double. I have often considered deleting my FB just because I feel it generates more negative feelings for me than good, like people just constantly trying to 'one up' each other. Who takes the best pictures, who has the most friends, who had the 'craziest' weekend. I envy those who can just turn it off, but I feel addicted. If you're starting back up your FB I recommend you only friend people you truly care about. If not, then don't bother. I think that would do you the most good in the long run. Good luck

[healingme4me]

I'm over a year into my second fb attempt. It has its own darkside. I can't even log in through my laptop, as though there's a blockage. I disable it, as an app, from time to time. Non viewed several. One of my hs friends grams posts some great shares, i enjoy those. Get to view family pets and new babies. Venue for showing I'm busy with my kids. Disabled chat, even the first time. Take what I like, leave the rest. I sometimes miss bdays, I'm sporadically in. Discovered, first time, it's not useful to keep people informed. I must actively participate, outside of it.

Oh, and it's ladies only, lest related. Keeping drama, at bay. Which is funny, I am keeping my romantic life, out of fb. There's some glimpses, but no concrete photo. ..the in-laws might share with the ex...not happening

[agita]

I've culled my facebook account to people I know very well instead of anyone I'm just acquaintances with.

I'm %100 with everyone here who is talking about facebook being a facade. All many people use it as a self assurance to make themselves feel important.

Don't feel bad for lack of content.