just venting...in need of a little advice.

This is going to be a semi long story...well I have panic disorder and am going through alot if life changing experiences right now. For one I am getting married! Super excited but the planning is crazy! My dad has cancer and spend alot of time with him...so ya I have a lot on my mind right now.
Then there is my mom...she lost her job 3 years ago and had no place to go. So my father agreed to let her stay here. She would have been homeless. My mom and I have had a horrible relationship pretty much my whole life. So her living with us was going to be a task. I sucked it up and have dealt with her living her for 3 years. She recently got a job and we discussed her paying some bills because she has lived here and payed nothing. Well she payed one bill and now is moving out with her friend because she wants to save money. I think this is very rude considering none of her friends would take her in and we did and in the end she is just going to leave without helping us out at all?? I'm fed up with her and all the drama she brings in my life. She never wants to talk about our problems and gets extremely defensive when I try. I'm ready to sever the ties between my mom and I and focus on my new life as a wife and caretaker for my dad. ALL the drama in my life has revolved around her. My question is this....do you think this is a selfish act or should I do this for myself...finally!?! I pretty much have my mind up but just seeing if anyone has had a horrible relationship with their mother and somehow made it survive?? Thanks!!

I don't know how "horrible" your relationship is with your mother. But I would never cut a parent out of my life completely.
Your getting married, may have children which will be her grandchildren, don't do anything that you'll regret later. I would keep at arms length, but not sever all ties.

Ya cutting all ties does seen extreme but I am getting at my witts end with her. She talks about herself all the time and never listens to anyone else. I have tried and tried but it seems it just gets worse! If I do have children I would not want them to be subjected to the same treatment as I. I do love her but it seems I get along better when there are periods we do not talk

Look up NPD, (narcissistic personality disorder)
see if M. has it. I think she does with your description.

Call me an old fashion, but when it comes to parents, I believe we should help them, no matter how bad the relationship is.
Regarding the bills - she's not paying maybe because she... can't?
Does she spend her money on other things?
I think we should't "charge" our parents anyway.
How about if instead of demanding her, you can help her get herself together?
putting the money issue on the side - Maybe it's a great opportunity for you guys to have a better relationship?
Just offering a different approach. Hope it doesn't sound like judging.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!

How did your mother end up living with you? You say your father agreed to it, so does that mean you did not have an equal say in this?

I ask because I am concerned about a possible repeat as you continue to serve as your father's caretaker.

I don't think you're selfish for wanting more space from your mother. I say, enjoy the fact she's moving out. I don't think severing ties completely would necessarily be in your best interest because it burdens you with having to avoid her for the rest of her life, but limiting your time with her sounds like a good idea to me.

Thank you very much!! We are extremely excited!!!

My mother started living with us because she lost her job and lost her apartment. I had issues with her moving in but felt extremely bad...because she would have been homeless.