Afraid of not being clean/tidied up.

I am living abroad for the second time in my life. I am alone in a room and have to tidy it up and clean every now and then. However, I have several issues.

First of all, I am afraid of not being able to tidy the room properly and eventually dirt/dust to mess it up completely. I know how strange this sounds, but yes, I am afraid of this. When I see something on the floor, I start to think that the whole floor will get dirty, so I clean everything right away. I also try to keep everything in my room tidied and in order, because even if I notice the smallest thing that has changed its location, I start to feel annoyed by it and have to put it on its place right away.

Second, the same thing happens when I go and take a shower. When I come back to my room, wearing flip-flops, I start to think that I may have gotten some dirt with me (on my feet for example) and brought it in the room, so I always check whether I am dried completely in order not to bring any dirt to my bed when I get in it.

And finally, I also have similar problem when I wash my clothes. I am always scared of not being able to wash off stains from my clothes and I always re-check them after getting them out of the washing machine. That's why I am always careful and try not to spill anything or leave skid marks on them. I have the feeling that they may stay "marked" forever and me having to go to the shop to buy new ones. I also wash my clothes and stuff very often, so they could stay always clean. The reason for all of these is one white shirt, that had some chocolate stain on it, which couldn't be removed after numerous wash-ups at the machine. Because of this, I now always try to buy shirts and trousers in dark colors.

I also have bought numerous jackets, shirts and clothes as a whole, just to be prepared and have spared if some of them get dirty permanently. This causes a significant issue, mainly because this causes me to think about buying new clothes all the time and thinking about the expenses on them and where to store them. (because I am now starting to run out of space).

I know how crazy all of these sound, but they really have developed to issues and cause me some form of stress. To summarize it overall, I am afraid of dirt messing up my life and disturbing the harmony in it. I hope that you can help me. I would really appreciate it. Thank you very much.

Hi, Venom0706, and welcome to Psych Central! I am no expert, but it seems like a dirt phobia. Off hand, I can't think of anything I can suggest to help.

Is there any way you can find a therapist to talk to?

It seems like maybe you could have some OCD tendencies or other anxiety problem that is causing this... I think that SSRI's can really help with this kind of thing. Have you ever been on meds or considered going to a psych to get some?

I have a close friend who gets irrationally strong worries like that. When she takes the prozac she is prescribed it really helps her not obsess about things so much. Her worries are similar to what you are describing - like it's something she should be concerned over to a degree but when she's not on her meds the little things can start to dominate her thoughts to an irrational degree.

Anyways, I hope that helps... I think you should try to talk to a doctor and get on an SSRI if you are able to (I'm on paxil because I get irrational social fears - a little different but also an irrational fear that I can't control )