[birdpumpkin]

So I had to make myself get out of bed because I'd been lying there awake for quite some time and shivering thinking about our electric bill. My husband had what we had left to pay from the rental home we were staying at after our fire to our new bill here at our new house, and it was over $300. I didn't notice there was a termination notice on it til I looked at it again yesterday - right before we went to Wal-Mart. The 18th. We paid half of it last week so I think are okay; but that scared me to death anyway, and I was on the verge of tears the whole time we were at Wal-Mart, my husband grouching at me and saying how I am was getting on his nerves. I'm really afraid of the electric being out - it's a bad trigger for me - since we were out for 10 days after the derecho 2 years ago. We're paying the other half tomorrow, but I'm just having irrational thoughts and still really scaring myself. Just thinking about that notice makes me light-headed and faint and about to cry. I was doing so well for a couple days. It's so frustrating that I can't stay okay and that things keep happening. I just wish this were tomorrow so I could go pay that bill. Hate having to wait... I still feel scared, though, that even after I pay it they'll turn it off. More irrational thoughts I suppose.

[lizzyjb]

Sorry to hear that. But stop and breathe. you have to concentrate in that every thing will be ok. You are going to pay it tomorrow so everything is going to be ok. Just concentrate in that.
Lots of hugs.

[birdpumpkin]

Thanks lizzyjb. I've been trying to do that. Sometimes it helps but just feel utter terror at the thought of being shut off. Bills are so scary, and our electric company doesn't seem too lenient.

[lizzyjb]

Yeah, I understand perfectly how scary it can be. But be sure you will be ok.

[birdpumpkin]

OMG just noticed on bill that they want $221 of it by the 18th, and we only paid $150 last week!! Just want to get the bill paid tomorrow and off my back. I'm starting to panic. Feel really scared. I'm going to bed soon, but my heart is pounding. I'm sure I won't be sleeping well tonight.

sorry - but you are clearly stressed and your comments about an unsupportive partner seem very upsetting...

IMO - tell grouchy hubby to go pay the bill..... and if he doesn't have enough $$$ - then tell grouchy hubby to go EARN enough.

[birdpumpkin]

He earns it and has the money. Just have to take it to a local pharmacy to pay it while he's at work. It's very close, though. We live paycheck to paycheck and have just barely enough for bills and food. Not much left over. He is definitely unsupportive, though. He can get mean with words, and it certainly doesn't help my problems any. I'm suffering from a lot of anxiety and possibly have ptsd from our fire, and everything seems to be scary to me anymore. Bills, especially electric and house payment for our new home, scare me the most. He had made a copy of the original bill because last week we used the original to pay the half and the copy today for the other half. I was afraid maybe they wouldn't want a copy of the bill at the pharmacy where I would be paying the bill. I suppose it doesn't matter as long as they have your account number and the money, but I just felt uncomfortable having to hand them a copied version of our bill. It's okay - paid for now and should be owing nothing. Now I'm just paranoid they'll still turn it off. Yay ptsd...