[Yearning4Peace]

Hello... My name is Kelly and I'm 30 years young. I've recently hit rock bottom and figured I'd give this online world of support a try. From what I've read so far, this seems to be a kind caring community. Where do I start?? I've been battling generalized / social anxiety and depression on and off since I was a teen. Been on a variety of Anti-d's, (all of which had to go off of, after giving them a fair trial, due to my extreme sensitivity to side effects). Am currently just taking Klonopin for anxiety which helps a tiny bit, but not much. As of lately, my life is at a complete standstill and I feel absolutely lost, depressed, lonely and anxiety ridden. My license was suspended back in May 06" for six months and that is when I took a turn for the worse ....I lost all my independence. I had to rely on everyone to drive me around and take me places and in the process I lost my self-confidence and self-esteem. Now that I have my license back, I'm still not working since my anxiety symptoms have been overbearing and through the roof. Although, I have been looking non-stop, applying and faxing endless resumes in, but after months of having no solid structure, I feel like I'm on the inside looking out. Feel as if I've become agoraphobic upon the loss of my driving privileges but now that I have that back, I'm so very out of practice with living what one would call a "normal" life. Simple things such as driving to the store is enough to make me feel like I'm losing my mind. I don't want to sink any lower and to be honest don't think I can. I'm sick of crying, yet I can't stop. I'm here to meet new people who know what it's like to feel trapped and as if you're living under a dark cloud. Life should not have to be this way, yet why can't I just move on? I hope through this site I'll be able to find any words of encouragement and find hope for the future. Thanks for listening to me ramble.

[mindfulchick]

Hi, Kelly!

Are you in any therapy? That helps me a lot! I'd recommend taking small steps toward your recovery-maybe just drive to a place close by.....

I also have GAD and OCD-double whammy!

you're in my prayers,

anxiety chick

[tiodlliwi]

You are in the right place. We are here for you and DO understand what you are saying. Although everyone's experiences are a little bit different, there are many things you mention in your post that I have seen repeatedly in others posts and have felt myself. It is a tough battle and it sounds like you losing your license really hit you hard. You will regain your self confidence but it might not be over night. And, remember- baby-steps! If you are continuing to go to the store even if you really don't want to, that is a huge step! Continue to take those little challenges and someday you will maybe even be stronger than ever before and in a job that makes you happy. Good luck!!

hmmmmmmmmm. the PC post eater ate my post.

welcome to PC....i, too, experience some of what you're talking about. i tried little trips to the library and short drives....the library is great because everyone is quiet and minding their own business.

keep us posted. pat

[snowflake_48888]

Welcome Kelly

I hope you find the comfort and understanding on PC that you are searching for. I have found comfort here along with many others. It's great that you are fighting those anxiety feelings by driving or going to the store. Keep up the great work! I know its tough...I have been there.
Take care and welcome again Kelly
Snow