[a7ended]

Hi am new to this forum, but I need some insight from you guys. Please and thank you ahead of time. And forgive me if I posted in the wrong place and for this post to be too long.

I just recently developed (self-diagnosed) panic attack.

I am a 26 year old male. In my last relationship, which ended 3 years ago, I dated a girl for for almost 5 years. I wanted to marry this girl but she cheated on me, fortunately or unfortunately, with a very close friend of mine during senior year of college. Every since then, I didn't trust people easily, in addition to myself already being an INFP (which don't tend to share their inner thoughts or emotions with someone easily).

Fast forward 3 years, I don't keep in contact with my ex-gf or friend. I even actually stopped hanging out with those group of friends and made new friends slowly over time. I have friends I can lean on now, I am totally sure I am over my ex and I started dating again.

So I met this new girl through a friend, and we hit it up on the first date. I was excited about her and went of a second date. We kissed on the second date. When I went home that night, I couldn't sleep. At first I thought I was just excited about her. But for the next 3 nights and days, I still couldn't sleep. My heart was racing, my head wouldn't stop thinking (about the new girl, negative and positive thoughts), lost my appetite, and felt like there was a black hole in my gut. Without sleep, my mind just went crazy. I have to go to work too, and I felt like was just about to break down and die.

I eventually spoke to a friend, and he said I was just "lovestruck". I thought he was right, and talking to him made me at ease. I slept so well the 4th night and went on a date with the new girl the next day.

The night after the third date, the "attack" come back. The same symptoms as before.
I am convinced that I don't care if this new girl doesn't end up with me. But am I wrong? Could possibly the emotions from losing my ex-gf somehow transferred to this new relationship? Am I afraid of losing someone I love? Am I am really just lovestruck? I have felt something similar after breaking up with my ex, and that lasted two weeks. Ever since then I had not felt it again.

I want to face my fear. I want to tackle my fear. I want to solve this problem. I want to make myself better. I am an athletic person, and I push myself to the limits all the time mentally and physically. But panic attacks are a beast. Please, I need some advice.

[glok]

Welcome to the Community, a7ended. You might start here: Anxiety, Panic and Phobias - Forums at Psych Central

An excellent resource: Anxiety, Panic and Phobia Center - Psych Central

Professional help is also an option.

I wish you well.

[Sober Man]

Originally Posted by a7ended

Hi am new to this forum, but I need some insight from you guys. Please and thank you ahead of time. And forgive me if I posted in the wrong place and for this post to be too long.

I just recently developed (self-diagnosed) panic attack.

I am a 26 year old male. In my last relationship, which ended 3 years ago, I dated a girl for for almost 5 years. I wanted to marry this girl but she cheated on me, fortunately or unfortunately, with a very close friend of mine during senior year of college. Every since then, I didn't trust people easily, in addition to myself already being an INFP (which don't tend to share their inner thoughts or emotions with someone easily).

Fast forward 3 years, I don't keep in contact with my ex-gf or friend. I even actually stopped hanging out with those group of friends and made new friends slowly over time. I have friends I can lean on now, I am totally sure I am over my ex and I started dating again.

So I met this new girl through a friend, and we hit it up on the first date. I was excited about her and went of a second date. We kissed on the second date. When I went home that night, I couldn't sleep. At first I thought I was just excited about her. But for the next 3 nights and days, I still couldn't sleep. My heart was racing, my head wouldn't stop thinking (about the new girl, negative and positive thoughts), lost my appetite, and felt like there was a black hole in my gut. Without sleep, my mind just went crazy. I have to go to work too, and I felt like was just about to break down and die.

I eventually spoke to a friend, and he said I was just "lovestruck". I thought he was right, and talking to him made me at ease. I slept so well the 4th night and went on a date with the new girl the next day.

The night after the third date, the "attack" come back. The same symptoms as before.
I am convinced that I don't care if this new girl doesn't end up with me. But am I wrong? Could possibly the emotions from losing my ex-gf somehow transferred to this new relationship? Am I afraid of losing someone I love? Am I am really just lovestruck? I have felt something similar after breaking up with my ex, and that lasted two weeks. Ever since then I had not felt it again.

I want to face my fear. I want to tackle my fear. I want to solve this problem. I want to make myself better. I am an athletic person, and I push myself to the limits all the time mentally and physically. But panic attacks are a beast. Please, I need some advice.

well from what I read, it certainly sounds like fear of commitment because of how your ex girlfriend hurt you in the past. Very possible that you unconsciously developed this as a coping mechanism so you don't get hurt again. If this is indeed correct, you must remember that you didn't die when your girlfriend cheated on you and you won't die if it happens again. The world will continue to turn and you will be okay again.

Originally Posted by Sober Man

well from what I read, it certainly sounds like fear of commitment because of how your ex girlfriend hurt you in the past.

Maybe consider seeing a counselor, if you can? It's possible there's other things involved that we don't see which one can help you figure out and work through.