[Bast]

Hi

I have currently relapsed into severe social anxiety, again. I only leave my house to work, and run errands. If around others in a public place, I will quickly turn and walk in an opposite direction, or look down-- totally avoid any and all eye contact.

At work, I put my headphones on and stare at the computer like I'm working really hard at something. I don't take breaks or lunchs....only run to the bathroom and back.

All day long, my heart races; I shake; I have these random memories or recall's about interacting with others and I analyze every detail,.... criticizing myself for saying the wrong thing, giving the wrong look, not responding the way they want me to, talking poorly (studdering, mixing up my words). And then analyzing what the person I conversed with was REALLY meaning when they said that.

I honestly feel that everyone who talks to me is out to get something from me, or get over on me in some way.

Something has got to give. I'm miserable.

Have I crossed a boundary and really need to seek help? Or is this something that might pass?

I'm at a loss right now.

Thanks.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Hi there, Bast. No, you definitely need to get support, and if anything, so that this doesn't get worse. You can't keep going on like this. I have debilitating social anxiety, as well. It's not healthy to have all that anxiety all the time. Consider medication, such as beta-blockers, and treatment such as CBT. Get yourself a qualified psychologist/therapist. I won't lie, those first steps are going to be a mission, but considering you're already going out and working, I'd say you'll manage it. You can do some of the start of it online, or at least, that's what I did.

I know what it's like to be freaking out all the time, no matter the rationale. I know what it's like to be wondering whether you did something wrong, said something wrong, didn't say something you should've, whether someone else said something wrong, whether you hurt, offended, or angered someone, and so on and so forth. I worry about how I look. I worry about whether I'm doing or saying something inappropriate. I worry about whether I'm safe, or sometimes even other people, especially if I'm with those I care about, like my dad. I worry about a LOT. (also have OCD; do you have that?) I've had this problem for years, now 28 living in supported housing, and for me? Going to the shop a minute or two away is an accomplishment. ¬_¬ Anyway, you're not alone.

But wait, there's more! xD

You should check out relaxation techniques. I shunned them for ages, but they are actually a huge life-safer, dramatically speaking. xD (or perhaps an actual life-saver) Here are some of the things that help me when my anxiety/OCD spikes:

1. Use smell, such as by lighting incense.

2. Use auditory stimulation. This serves as a distraction which is another technique although probably more common with OCD, PTSD, and other disorders where distracting is very helpful. I'm a guitarist of 11 years, so for me, I love to play classical or blues stuff on the acoustic, which really helps me. Although I don't recommend this for all occasions, playing music through your phone or other portable device could help to distract and even relax you; just make sure not to do this in a place where there are real dangers. (such as cars)

3. This may not work for all, but it really helps me; it works as a distraction technique, but I find that it also helps lesson my anxiety (if the anxiety is brought on by intrusive thoughts or distressing thoughts, such as ruminating over what you should or shouldn't have said, this is then very useful): use something that makes you think, such as studying up on your other language(s), or studying up on a musical instrument, etc. My 2nd language is German and I'm quite passionate about it, so I find that going on a German dictionary online and searching up a random word is both educational and helpful to keep me distracted and focused. I also find German programmes or even cartoons can be helpful, especially that latter as it's "light-hearted"; if that's the right term. Simply practicing is also helpful, so, speaking to German people, helping German natives with their English... you get the idea. xD

4. Use touch. Touch is very powerful. You must have certain textures you love, and surely some you hate? Find something you love, and use it. Sounds a bit strange, but just play with whatever texture you like, whether it's a stone (I knew someone who suffered with very scary PTSD flashbacks and found this technique very useful), cloth, rugged, or soft; if it's calming, funny, interesting, or weird, it might just do the trick. I've yet to find my "texture", but I'm sure there's something out there.

5. Physical exercise is brilliant when you're anxious, because you're actually using all that pent up stress and likely adrenaline that's going through your body. I'm into fitness somewhat, so I have weights, an exercise bike, and some other bits and bobs that help me work out the stress as best I can. I have depression, too, and can struggle with sleep, so yeah, I know it can be tough to get started, but it can be extremely rewarding. You don't have to do a full-on heavy workout, just do something... even just going for a walk up and down some hills, or if you're not in the best of shape, go with just a regular walk. Not only will your body thank you, and you'll feel better about yourself for being healthier and losing some calories, but you'll also stave the anxiety a bit. If you do go for a full-on workout, you may just get a lot more out of it. Your sleep may well improve as well.

Edit: Scratch that, if you're anxious and have social anxiety, going outside for a "walk", is probably counter-productive, so try working out at home. There are many, many exercises you can do at home. You really don't need a gym at all. There are plenty of exercises that just use a floor and stool or other level surface to rest on. There's situps, leg raises, arm raises, toe raises, jogging on the spot, high knees, pushups, and many more. You could also look into Yoga that some claim to be very relaxing.

6. I'm sorry to give this generic suggestion, but yes, it's true, eating healthily does (at least in my experience and by everything I've read and been told) affect your anxiety. Stay away from sugary foods and caffeine; these will elevate your heart-rate and, at least in my experience, increase your chances of having problems with anxiety. I suppose it depends on the person, ... I can get away with some, but I choose carefully when I do have them... if I'm having a stressed day, there's no way in hell I'll have a cup of coffee, because that's just putting wood on the fire. Much like how you shouldn't drink alcohol if you're really pissed off, because it'll likely come out even more.

If I think of anything else, I'll add it. Hope that helps.